In knee deep

[Disinter]

Unfortunately we don't get to choose whether or not we deserve our families. Or that they deserve to be ours, or something...

No we don't, they do. If they don't act in a way that they should, like family, then they don't deserve to be family..simple as.

Family has nothing to do with 'BLOOD' or 'MARRIAGE', family is they way people treat you as a social unit, if they treat you badly then they don't deserve to be treated well themselves.

Kudos for you, it's too bad enough people do not understand this concept.

Regarding this situation, you need to weigh out the pros and cons. If you aren't ready to take ANY of the possible cons (be sure to consider all possible outcomes of the situation) then you don't need to tell them. Of course, it is your choice and I agree that it sucks acting like something you aren't. I'm amoral so it doesn't bother me nearly as bad. However, sometimes you may have to play actor if the situation calls for it even if it makes you cringe. Just whatever you do, don't listen to your "conscience" on this one. Think it through logically and good luck!

[LEDO]

The problem with them finding out is the fact that I have so many other things going on and I don't need the extra drama. I don't mind telling people, but I want to wait until my parents die. :|

I have practically no one and a mansion sized closet of troubles. I don't want to "be loud, be proud!" when it could create even more drama than necessary. While I'm not ashamed of my non-theism, I AM deeply concerned over what may ensue after it comes out.

Because we do only get one life. I'm not going to fuck up a relationship with my family just because they don't see eye-to-eye with me. Besides, my sister already knows I don't believe in any gods. So assuming that she hasn't blabbed (which based on past experience, the odds are that she has already), at least she knows.

And no trouble yet from the church woman. I haven't contacted her at all, either. Maybe I might have overreacted a little bit? Assuming too much of the typical "concerned parent and christian" reaction?

Just let it drop you started dating older black men and they will quickly forget all about the atheist part.

[Dotard]

I'm not going to fuck up a relationship with my family just because they don't see eye-to-eye with me.

It would not be you "fucking up the relationship" if drama were to ensue.

Hiding who you are to make other people happy? Fuck other people. If they somehow become unhappy because of your honesty and truthfulness then it is them causing the problem and NOT you.

Be true to thyself.

I have practically no one...

You could have another 'one' if you want gorgeous.......
(unless you are really a man, then please, forget what I just said. I never know who's what around here.)

and a mansion sized closet of troubles.

Phbbbt.... Don't we all?

[KawaiiKoneko]

Well, it's safe to say I over reacted just a little bit. No news from the old dance instructor so far. But I'm not going to let my guard down. >:[

I've read everyone's comments, and have considered them all. And I must thank everyone for being so welcoming towards me. It means a lot to know that I can find support and rational assessments of my situations from others when I'm incapable of doing so. At the moment, my rational thinking is being complicated by emotion. I've learned that I need to control my emotions, and have been successful for the most part. But when it comes to rejection and love, I seem to lose control.

So thank you everyone! <3 <3 <3 <3

@ Dotard
I was born female.
And thanks for the offer. lol

[Paul the Human]

I was going to suggest you sit tight and see if anything comes of it. It sounds like nothing has, at least not yet. If your parents do ask you about it, I think the best thing to do is own up to it. Yes, Mom... I am an atheist. Just make sure she understands that it only means you do not believe in the existence of god(s). Eating babies is optional.

I am all for standing up for yourself as an atheist, I do it all the time, but I also feel that family harmony is worth a bit of sacrifice. If being open about your atheism will cause a serious rift in your family relationships, I don't think it hurts anyone to leave that subject on the shelf around them. That doesn't mean that you have to pretend to be a believer, but you don't have to 'rub it in their faces', either. Coming out to your family is always a difficult thing to do and the experience will be different for every individual. Good luck.

[KawaiiKoneko]

I was going to suggest you sit tight and see if anything comes of it. It sounds like nothing has, at least not yet. If your parents do ask you about it, I think the best thing to do is own up to it. Yes, Mom... I am an atheist. Just make sure she understands that it only means you do not believe in the existence of god(s). Eating babies is optional.

I am all for standing up for yourself as an atheist, I do it all the time, but I also feel that family harmony is worth a bit of sacrifice. If being open about your atheism will cause a serious rift in your family relationships, I don't think it hurts anyone to leave that subject on the shelf around them. That doesn't mean that you have to pretend to be a believer, but you don't have to 'rub it in their faces', either. Coming out to your family is always a difficult thing to do and the experience will be different for every individual. Good luck.

Thank you, Paul. I'm pretty much thinking of doing your suggestion. But another problem is rising up as well. If I end up telling my parents I don't believe in any gods, or if they somehow find out, what about my sexual preference? Am I going to feel even more pressured than now? I mean, I'm fine with the fact I like both men and women. But will I feel like 'letting it ALL out' in the sense of lack of beliefs, sexual preference, stance on abortion, etc? I'm worried one slip will end up leading to more and creating a different situation which may be even more out of my control than the current one.

You get what I mean?

[Violet]

Update: 4000th post!!! WOOOOOO!

Dammit! And here I thought I'd be getting it

I have practically no one...

Hence your desire to find like-minded people on the web, perhaps?

[Paul the Human]

Thank you, Paul. I'm pretty much thinking of doing your suggestion. But another problem is rising up as well. If I end up telling my parents I don't believe in any gods, or if they somehow find out, what about my sexual preference? Am I going to feel even more pressured than now? I mean, I'm fine with the fact I like both men and women. But will I feel like 'letting it ALL out' in the sense of lack of beliefs, sexual preference, stance on abortion, etc? I'm worried one slip will end up leading to more and creating a different situation which may be even more out of my control than the current one.

You get what I mean?

*nods* I do get what you mean. It's all one big Pandora's Box. It really depends on your current relationship with your parents and how strong their feelings are on such issues. It's something that you know far better than any of us and that will ultimately have to be your guide. My initial thought would be to offer but one revelation at time to lessen the impact. I am heterosexual, so that particular issue never came up for me, but I can imagine what coming out to my parents might be like. That is one that would probably be better off dealt with by itself. Same for atheism. Again, that is simply my take on it considering my own parents and my relationship with them.

[Dotard]

I've read everyone's comments, and have considered them all.
So thank you everyone! <3 <3 <3 <3

WAIT WAIT. Stop right there. Hold the presses!

You actually considered my comments?

Oh dear.....

[Tiberius]

I think she was being polite Dotard.