Do you M&Minize?

[Clueless Morgan]

Here's my M&Minizing protocol:



(1) Arrange in pairs by color into a rainbow (as photographed)

(2) Make sure all the M-stamped sides are face-up. If the M&M isn't stamped it immediately gets eaten.

(3) Eat the singles first, in order of which color has the largest quantity (above, I'd eat the red single before the green single).

(4) Eat from the largest quantity color column until it equals the next-highest quantity - (above, I'd eat the reds until they equaled the blue column, IOW each column had 8 M&Ms).

(4 Sub-rule) If eating classic M&Ms I must eat the M&Ms two at a time, chewing one M&M on each side of my mouth; if eating peanut butter M&Ms I eat them one at a time (they're bigger than classic M&Ms) but bite the M&M in half and chew one half the M&M on either side of my mouth. This sub-rule is operational when I eat M&Ms in the dark or cannot otherwise M&Minize. This rule must always be followed!!!

(5) Once I get equal columns of colors, I start eating them, by color, per the step 4 sub-rule, from right to left (above, I would eat the two blues before the two reds; when the red and blue columns equal the yellow, I'd eat blues, then yellows, then reds) until I have the same number of M&Ms in all the colors* across my arrangement.

* Unless, of course, there was a single of one color, or it wasn't stamped with an M or I just didn't get that color in my bag.

Eating M&Ms is a big deal for me.



So...
Do you M&Minize?

[vorlon13]

I always ate 3 at a time, 2 of one color, and the third of a different. I'd sort out quite a few piles before eating any.

When my mom would notice she would run from the room screaming.

[Exian]

M&Ms are my favorite candy. Can't say I've ever eaten them this way though. Peanut M&Ms are my most favorite, followed by classic, followed by nothing, because those are the only ones I'll recognize as M&Ms.

My phone stretched your picture out, so the whole time I was reading, I was waiting to read about how you got them to stand up on their edges.

Is this a thing or did you make it up?

[Minimalist]

No. Never.

Some of you people are weird.

[bennyboy]

This is BULLSHIT, man!

You haven't even talked about the correct way of eating them: 1) run your tongue around the edge until it cracks into two pieces; 2) use teeth and tongue to carefully pry one half of the candy away, revealing a complete face of chocolate on one side, while still keeping candy on the other. 3) Slowly and with great discipline, run saliva across the chocolate, so that it gradually melts. Finally, and only if you have done everything properly, you get a tiny little crunch of the only remaining bit of candy.

I'm deeply offended by this talk of pieces that "immediately get eaten." You philistine!

[AFTT47]

I arrange mine similar but the light brown goes prior to red and the dark brown prior to that. I eat from the rows with the most quantity and from dark brown to blue. So if one row has more than any other, that will be the first one I eat from. If two or more are tied for the most, I will eat from those from the red end to the blue. Eventually, all rows will have an equal number.

I have to say that the quality control is so piss-poor that there are never equal amounts of each color. It really pisses me off when there is a whole bunch of brown and only one or two blues.

First-world problem, obviously but it's still important.

[dyresand]

i crush up my peanut m&m's and use it as icecream topping or normal m&m's in a milkshake.

[c172]

I just bought a 5 lb. bag of peanut butter M&M's yesterday, and I am halfway through. (Can I be arrested for pancreas abuse?) I'm just having at it. No special arrangements. Jus dump a bunch in tupperware. I will say they have a lot of deformities, though.

And I still miss tan.

[Aroura]

Wow, you remind me of my husband! He does something similar, though he can't chew on both sides of his mouth. OCD people, unite!

I don't really have any candy rules, except to eat candy slowly. Sometimes I suck on a single one until the shell is so thin it crackles to little bits in my mouth. I love to savor little bits at a time.

[AFTT47]

I'm not OCD!
I'm not OCD!
I'm not OCD!