Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: January 3, 2025, 9:29 am
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
I'm running for president!!!

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
I'm running for president!!!
Fake Messiah Offline
Activist for Sin
*****
Religious Views: Prozac supplants exorcism
Posts: 17242
Threads: 462
Joined: March 29, 2015
Reputation: 30
#1
I'm running for president!!!
July 3, 2015 at 5:08 am (This post was last modified: July 3, 2015 at 5:11 am by Fake Messiah.)
It's official I'm running for president!!! Like some of my colleagues co-runners I have chosen the Internet to announce my run for White House.

Vote for me because I want to live in a White House where I'll have almost infinite amount of servants providing me with most luxurious and carefree life possible. Also, I will be enormously popular with tons of pussy at my disposal. I also want to show my ex-schoolmates and my ex-teachers that I'm far better then them and to all bitches that didn't want to date me to give something to be grin about.
It's not just about being treated like a God for 4 or 8 years I also want to make lots of business connections, so that once I get out of that shameless worship of one person place, I'm totally secured monetarily by first getting lots of money from big corporations to indulge their ridiculous, greedy schemes and second, to get some other data that will help me even after my therm to keep piling up big bucks.
And also, since I'm a sentimentalist. I want to enter the history books and through that gain some sort of afterlife in hearts and minds of many big and small Americans and people of other nations that will remember my name and know me trough legends that some of my lackeys will invent during my WH stay.

So
[Image: f30953954dc3d590ee92e50a8c43e0b4.png]
FAKE MESSIAH 2016!!
Find
Reply
ignoramus Offline
wiggle wiggle
*****
Religious Views: n/a
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation: 111
#2
RE: I'm running for president!!!
July 3, 2015 at 5:20 am (This post was last modified: July 3, 2015 at 5:23 am by ignoramus.)
Happy to vote for you unconditionally for one simple reason.
You haven't lied to me once! That, sir, is a first!
Don't know if you'll do jack shit for me, but I'll know that you'll be honest with me about all your policies.
Please start by telling me who's your next victim evil dictator  in the "war on oil terror".
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Find
Reply
Alex K Offline
Ich fühle Luft von anderem Planeten
*****
Religious Views: Theism is not plausible
Posts: 18510
Threads: 129
Joined: January 19, 2014
Reputation: 91
#3
RE: I'm running for president!!!
July 3, 2015 at 5:48 am
Sounds legit! And what about the taxes?
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition

Find
Reply
ignoramus Offline
wiggle wiggle
*****
Religious Views: n/a
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation: 111
#4
RE: I'm running for president!!!
July 3, 2015 at 6:07 am
I believe he's hired the Greek finance minister to help out with that.
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Find
Reply
Longhorn Away
Senior Member
****
Religious Views: atheist
Posts: 7318
Threads: 75
Joined: April 18, 2015
Reputation: 73
#5
RE: I'm running for president!!!
July 3, 2015 at 6:14 am
Well you give me lots of candies if I vote for you?
Find
Reply
Fake Messiah Offline
Activist for Sin
*****
Religious Views: Prozac supplants exorcism
Posts: 17242
Threads: 462
Joined: March 29, 2015
Reputation: 30
#6
RE: I'm running for president!!!
July 3, 2015 at 7:16 am (This post was last modified: July 3, 2015 at 7:20 am by Fake Messiah.)
Listen to these guys "What can you do for me? ME ME ME ME" Why does it have to be about you all the time? This time it's about getting me to be a deity. I'm so excited when I just think that I could actually live in that great castle and being so popular, giving orders around, having nuclear weapons at my hand's reach!! Going only to fancy places and only socialize with important, famous people!!
OMG please, please please please vote for me!!!
Then when I enter into White House if you have $500,000 I'll let you in for a short meeting. It doesn't have to be you personally who has half mil, for instance you can gather it around your neighborhood and come as representative of them, just as long as you have $500,000


BTW I changed my logo slogan for vote for me and I'm not allowed to edit my first post so I'll put it here
[Image: 15cc978acf9430dc73186b57c49b17f4.png]
FAKE MESSIAH 2016!!
Find
Reply
Longhorn Away
Senior Member
****
Religious Views: atheist
Posts: 7318
Threads: 75
Joined: April 18, 2015
Reputation: 73
#7
RE: I'm running for president!!!
July 3, 2015 at 7:19 am
Two chocolate muffins with strawberry jam filling or no deal
Find
Reply
vorlon13 Offline
Posting Freak
*****
Religious Views: agnostic 12 stepper
Posts: 30129
Threads: 304
Joined: April 18, 2014
Reputation: 92
#8
RE: I'm running for president!!!
July 3, 2015 at 8:16 am
I think Anusius could get behind this kind of candidacy !!
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




Find
Reply
vorlon13 Offline
Posting Freak
*****
Religious Views: agnostic 12 stepper
Posts: 30129
Threads: 304
Joined: April 18, 2014
Reputation: 92
#9
RE: I'm running for president!!!
July 3, 2015 at 8:17 am
LOL, I said 'behind' !!

Tongue
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




Find
Reply
Alex K Offline
Ich fühle Luft von anderem Planeten
*****
Religious Views: Theism is not plausible
Posts: 18510
Threads: 129
Joined: January 19, 2014
Reputation: 91
#10
RE: I'm running for president!!!
July 3, 2015 at 9:33 am
Hehe, didn't see that coming. Pretty funny.
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition

Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
I'm running for president!!!

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Is America ready for a racist, convict, lying, psychopath as a president? Fake Messiah 8 927 July 24, 2024 at 8:09 am
Last Post: Silver
  Polygraphs and President Sh*thole Brian37 14 1638 July 2, 2018 at 4:34 pm
Last Post: Gawdzilla Sama
  User names in President Shithole's administration Brian37 4 606 June 3, 2018 at 12:04 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Now THIS Is A President! Minimalist 0 326 April 8, 2018 at 7:58 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  President Sh*thole ACTUALLY SHOWERS! Brian37 3 651 January 29, 2018 at 7:43 pm
Last Post: Brian37
  President Mandelas success all down to the South African penal system downbeatplumb 2 1226 August 1, 2012 at 2:55 pm
Last Post: Anomalocaris



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)