Posts: 4196
Threads: 60
Joined: September 8, 2011
Reputation:
30
RE: You are god!
August 23, 2015 at 4:43 pm
Then why did god create the universe? It must have required a desire or was it just a mechanical action from a god with no freewill.
You make people miserable and there's nothing they can do about it, just like god.
-- Homer Simpson
God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion.
-- Superintendent Chalmers
Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends. There are some things we don't want to know. Important things.
-- Ned Flanders
Once something's been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral.
-- The Rev Lovejoy
Posts: 69247
Threads: 3759
Joined: August 2, 2009
Reputation:
258
RE: You are god!
August 25, 2015 at 8:55 pm
I think I'd smite any fucker who used the word 'hashtag' in a sentence.
DIE, MOTHERFUCKER.
Posts: 35441
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
145
RE: You are god!
August 25, 2015 at 9:27 pm
I am god?
Awesome.
Let's wipe out the non believers!
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Posts: 1897
Threads: 33
Joined: August 25, 2015
Reputation:
27
RE: You are god!
August 28, 2015 at 12:39 pm
(This post was last modified: August 28, 2015 at 12:51 pm by Divinity.)
What I'd do as god would depend on what I'd be able to do.
Assuming total omnipotence, and will to interfere:
I'd slow down the aging process for people, and food would no longer be necessary to survive. Fuck hunger. Diseases would all be cured. There'd be no need for healthcare because nobody would get sick. Childbirth would be painless, and would not require any weight gain. In fact we'd do away with pregnancy altogether, and when people want a child, they just pray to me to ask for one. They can specify gender if they like, or get one at random. I like the Stork idea.
My church would require everybody to attend school and get an education, because my children aren't going to not get a fucking education. All my real children graduated high school, and two of them finished college.
I'd command everyone to stop seeing sex as something dirty, sinful, and awful. Except child molesters. Child Molesters can go fuck themselves.
I'd transport all the cool people to Earth 2.0, and leave all the assholes on Earth 1.0 where they can fuck themselves up with Nukes for all I care. I'd also bring Hitler back to life to live on Earth 1.0, along with a bunch of the other worst people in the world just to make sure the job is done.
Space Travel. It would be developed instantaneously.
Everyone would be invincible, and unkillable. But for when they get tired of life on earth and are ready for heaven, they can opt out (but you can't opt out until a certain age). Same for most animals, except for the ones people eat. There will be no mosquitoes on Earth 2.0. Or any other pests.
There would be a hell -- but it wouldn't be fire and brimstone. People would spend a lifetime living the life of the people they oppressed until they learned their fucking lesson. For example Hitler would be reincarnated as a Jew in 1940, and be sent to Auschwitz.
Heaven on the other hand would be awesome. It'd be a party all the time, and people would do whatever the fuck they want. For all eternity. There will be sex, because sex is awesome. Want to hang out with your favorite fictional characters? Go for it! Want to travel with The Doctor? Just pick one, and you and he will go off in the TARDIS. Want to arm wrestle with Thor? Go for it!
I'd live among my people, and instead of telling them to send me their money or worship me, I'd tell them to just be fucking awesome.
