The "Creepiest" thread

[The Valkyrie]

(Dammit. When I'm talking to people at the bar, I just blurt out creepy shit. And now that I'm trying to do so intentionally, I can't. FML.)

Beccs, the woman of my dreams is an animated version of you

Is it true Vulcan blood tastes of lime?

[Little lunch]

I'd kill to have a skin like yours.

You can have one.

I USED to have a twin...

That'll get rid of the tail, but can I have the horns then?

[The Valkyrie]

You can have one.

I USED to have a twin...

That'll get rid of the tail, but can I have the horns then?

No. I need something to go with the skull cups I make from the heads of my enemies.

[Mr.Obvious]

I like your dress valkyrie, but it would look better on my dungeon Floor.

I could have gone with skin there too.

[The Valkyrie]

I like your dress valkyrie, but it would look better on my dungeon Floor.

I could have gone with skin there too.

Of course my dress would look better on the floor.

I don’t think it would fit you.

Bad enough you dance around in women’s underwear to ABBA when you think no one’s watching.

You’re not a dancing queen.
You’re not young and sweet.
And you’re not only 17.

🤫

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Beccs, you've been so kind to me over the years, I've gotten you a gift - a lovely scent called eau d' chloroform. I'll be bringing it to you in person.

Boru

[Mr.Obvious]

You have a kind heart, Brian.

Consuming it will give the strength to be kind too.

[The Valkyrie]

I’m tired of having to tell guys who stay over at my house overnight and wake up with lipstick on their dicks that I don’t wear lipstick
.

One day I’m going to work out how Tim gets into my house at night!

[Rev. Rye]

*Takes a selfie burying one's head in The Valkyrie's hair*

Valkyrie, your hair smells good.

[Note: This is something that's actually on a former coworker's Facebook; the best I can tell about her sexuality, she's the sort of girl who wants one man, but when it comes to girls? All of them. At one point, she was engaged to both a man and a woman, patronised a titty bar regularly, and still flirted with other female coworkers (sometimes in ways that would get her fired if it was a guy doing it), and still insisted she was just straight.]

[The Valkyrie]

*Takes a selfie burying one's head in The Valkyrie's hair*

Valkyrie, your hair smells good.

[Note: This is something that's actually on a former coworker's Facebook; the best I can tell about her sexuality, she's the sort of girl who wants one man, but when it comes to girls? All of them. At one point, she was engaged to both a man and a woman, patronised a titty bar regularly, and still flirted with other female coworkers (sometimes in ways that would get her fired if it was a guy doing it), and still insisted she was just straight.]

A girl is kissing another girls passionately.

“Ashleigh, you know I’m straight!”

“So is spaghetti until it gets wet...”

😉