Unromantic Atheism?

[Thumpalumpacus]

Found it. Parentheses are background vocals:

---

I know damn well what I ought to feel
even as I'm compelled to ignore the thought.
Canyons aren't leapt one step at a time --
My heart want to jump, but my mind's glued to the spot.

Let it go (jumping can be fun)
Let it go (don't think you can't get across)
Make your move (you'll never know what you can't do)
It's a leap of faith (if you forget all that you've lost)

Don't give me this line 'bout "not knowing what to feel" --
Just be real and let the days take care of themselves.
But no, you'd rather map it all out, snap it all out
like this is some sort of open-book test.

Let it go (don't be afraid now, baby)
Let it go (don't you dare test the waters)
It ain't Mission Control (stop the countdown)
Love is life's rebellious daughter.

Chase the stars (don't let their distance ward you off)
Embrace the day (do not take counsel in your fears)
Sing to me (with your delirious delight)
Cleave to me (we might just leap across the years)


©2002 DK Gossett. All rights reserved.

---

I don't know if I was writing this to her, or to myself -- or probably both.  But I guess it sums up my views on romance -- it's all a gamble, and losing sucks, but not playing is a sure way of never winning.

Thump...you're a hell of a talented writer, man. 
That's a very touching song. Beautiful.

I bet you have to beat 'em with a stick don't you? Don't lie.

Shit, I couldn't get laid in a whorehouse with a fistfull of roofies.

But thank you much for the kind words, ma'am.

[Whateverist]

Doesn't a quick bang with random people count as romantic?

If the bang is good for you -granting you many umox- then of course it was romantic.  You loved it, didn't you?

[Exian]

Oh man, it's a life saver. But, wouldn't you know that I'm such a content asshole that I've neglected even her? It's been months, and now I'm not sure who the hell I am, which is kind of sad, I guess. My cousin brought his geet over all excited to learn one of my favorite tunes to play that I picked up from Stephen Grossman called Money Town, and I couldn't fuckin remember how to play the damn thing. Felt like a turd. But, like I said earlier about being romantic; I can't fake it, I have to be genuinely inspired. Positively or negatively. And I've been in such a damn funk lately. Not even a funk, just a weird flatline. Maybe I need a muse again.

Side story about Red House: I first heard it when "I still got my guitar" was particularly true for me, and so I did the only thing a 24 year old could think to do in that situation- I got it tattooed across my back... -_-

I gotta like anyone with Jimi tatted on them.

Bear in mind, I'm writing this even as I smart from the recent breakup of a longish relationship. Before her and I got together, I went ten years flying basically solo, dating when the opportunity arose, getting out early as the obligations (to account for my time, to sacrifice my own plans for hers, or my own obligations as a father) interposed themselves. For a long time I've thought of myself as an outside cat. I left that self-image behind with Harmony -- I was hers and she was mine. But it didn't work. It didn't work. So now I'me comfortable going back to my old way of living, which doesn't seem all that different from yours (another lyric, this one Simon and Garfunkel: "I've got no deeds to do, no promises to keep"). It's a simple life, and alluring for that reason. I did what I wanted when I wanted and didn't need to provide answers to anyone.

But for all its obligations and compromise -- and love is certainly about compromise, eventually -- the rewards love, true love, gives a person are astounding, and I do want and miss them. I've been lucky; I've known true love three times in one life. We just weren't able to work out the day-to-day give-and-take that is called-for when two people become a couple. I know that I carry a significant portion of the blame in each of those three breakups, even the one in which she cheated on me. But for me the rewards are enough to make me want love, even as I am comfortable living life on my own terms alone.

Sometimes I'm just too stupid to quit.

Well, there it is, isn't it? Spoken plainly and squarely. I agree with everything here. Well, I don't know if I agree, but it is how you say it is, for better or worse. I always thought "outside cat" would describe me, as well, but it doesn't. I'm more of an inside cat: I like it inside, but I'm still a damn cat.

And, damn, I dig those lyrics, Thump. Really good stuff. Maybe I'll get the balls to throw some of mine up, too, if I can find them. On the subject, of course. Figures you're a great song writer, from the posts I see from you.

[Athene]

Shit, I couldn't get laid in a whorehouse with a fistfull of roofies.

But thank you much for the kind words, ma'am.  

^ Things Panty-Droppers Say.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Well, there it is, isn't it? Spoken plainly and squarely. I agree with everything here. Well, I don't know if I agree, but it is how you say it is, for better or worse. I always thought "outside cat" would describe me, as well, but it doesn't. I'm more of an inside cat: I like it inside, but I'm still a damn cat.

And, damn, I dig those lyrics, Thump. Really good stuff. Maybe I'll get the balls to throw some of mine up, too, if I can find them. On the subject, of course. Figures you're a great song writer, from the posts I see from you.

I'd love to read some of your stuff, and hear it, too, if you've got recordings. I've got old demos, but I never did demo that one.

Shit, I couldn't get laid in a whorehouse with a fistfull of roofies.

But thank you much for the kind words, ma'am.  

^ Things Panty-Droppers Say.

[Athene]

Found a quiz that allegedly determines one's manner of romantic attachment on Psych Central. Good for a lark.
http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/romancequiz.htm

---

It appears that I'm Cool and Dismissive.

You have suggested that you have a dismissing style toward attachments, that they are really not too important to you. It is likely that you get along in your relationships, but don't invest yourself very much in them.

OK. Seems fairly accurate.

This is a perfectly fine way to be and it probably keeps you on a very even keel. However, someday you may find that you are starting to feel lonely and that you would like to have closer relationships. If this should happen, but you find that you are unable to achieve the closeness you want, you may want to engage the services of a professional psychotherapist. This is the kind of life change that a professional can really help with.

WTF? This is bullshit!

---

[Exian]

I was thinking about seeking the services of a professional, myself. *raisy eyebrow guy*

[Whateverist]

There must be some kind of mistake:


      Measure              Your score
Relationship Avoidance:                    63.5
Relationship Anxiety:                        77

Attachment style:               Secure and Happy



Seriously, I like the feeling of being known in all my fallible weirdness.  I like feeling close to someone else and knowing them well.  I don't have a strong sense of entitlement to anyone's time or attention, but I also don't respond well to anyone who feels entitled to a list of things from me.  I also strongly value time I spend pursuing my own projects and thoughts.

I don't worry about whether their feelings will change.  Hell mine might to.  What are you going to do?  But I'd rather have someone close as we go forward to find out.  I also like the idea of forging family and commitment.

[Thumpalumpacus]

At this stage of your development in romantic relationships, you tend to be pretty evenly balanced in your attachment style. You are not significantly more anxious about them, nor significantly avoiding intimacy or emotional closeness in relationships.

This is a healthy balance, but it also may mean that it is more difficult for you to find someone else who has achieved this same healthy balance! Most people tend to either have greater anxiety or greater avoidance in relationships. You'd probably be most comfortable and at ease in a relationship where your partner is also fairly balanced in their romantic attachment approach.

So congratulate yourself!! You're a part of a well-balanced breed when it comes to your romantic attachment style.

Your romantic attachment style: Secure and Happy

You have described yourself as securely attached. This means that you are likely to have happier relationships and be better able to sustain commitments than people who have an insecure attachment style.

You are likely to have more positive emotional experiences and to be more happy and outgoing in interpersonal relationships. You will be more likely to express what you really feel. You are more likely to be able to depend on others when it is appropriate, and yet able to function autonomously in your own sphere when that is appropriate. You are also more likely to raise children who themselves will have a secure attachment style.

I dunno ... something doesn't seem right with this assessment.

[Whateverist]

I thought there was way too much emphasis on what you worry about. Not everyone worries so much or relates to things in terms of worrying. Of course the second part of the test was worded differently.