Did you see the OP? Posted by the user "True Christian" (albeit in a rather shit-and-run manner).
He opined that too many young women take their fashion cues from Miley Cyrus,
and not enough young women take example from the Virgin Mary.
In response, I posted pics of Katy Perry, Cher, and...oh yeah....MADONNA taking their cues from the Holy Virgin.
I see women dressed in outfits all the time that I do not consider particularly tasteful or classy,
but the point is respect for personal freedom
and also, as you are pointing out: personal accountability:
He needs to take ownership of what is HIS problem,
and not expect her to make it HER problem.
A woman shouldn't have to modify her dress, because it distracts men.
No one should have to.
In fact, for me, it raises the issue of
Limerence
I consider Limerence is basically worse than a crush;
...but not quite as serious as Stalking, or full-blown Obsession,
insofar as you respect the person's privacy and space.
Limerence is when you essentially develop a "supercrush" that lasts for years
Thoughts of that person invade your mind,
against your will, at all times of day,
invade your dreams,
for years and years,
and generally makes you
miserable,
because you feel like you are "meant" to be together...
...but you are too responsible, sane, and mature, to stalk them or harass them,
and you maintain self-control and whatever distance it is humanly-possible to maintain.
It largely hangs on not knowing whether the object of your desire (or "Limerent Object" or LO)
would return your affections, or not...
...but even if you
know they would
not return your affections,
or if you know they are happily married, for example.
you could still be Limerent toward them for many years.
I've been Limerent in the past,
and it's a type of torture to not be able to stop thinking of a person,
and feel like you should be together,
but have to accept it and move on,
(especially if you're obliged to SEE or talk to that person, from time to time,
and your heart nearly stops every time you clap eyes on them).
Now: I compare that to the invasive level of "distraction"
(due to sexual attraction) that Heat was talking about.
It is so persistent, so frequent, and intense enough, that it can be a little aggravating:
You're doing your best to behave,
but you feel like you're being taunted, at times,
and that your efforts at self-control are not appreciated.
Now,
I
wouldn't go so far as to say it is like putting a feast before a
starving man,
and asking him to maintain his self-control;
but I
would say it is like an
intense irritation that you cannot address;
and must simply endure;
like having poison ivy exposure and not being able to scratch it;
Or trying to study for a Calculus exam when you haven't slept for a couple of days,
or finding someone extremely obnoxious or annoying,
yet having to resist the urge to punch them in the face.
My point:
Women have stuff they have have to resist, too,
and ALWAYS resist it,
even if it makes them a little miserable.
I don't have the right to make my Limerent Object (my crush) uncomfortable,
by letting him know the intensity of my feelings for him,
just because I am inconvenienced...
...it is not his problem.
I must endure it,
OR, I must be the one to move away from HIM,
I cannot expect HIM to move away from ME.
Likewise,
men should not expect women to change their plans, or clothes,
or career, or life goals, or body, or anything else,
to accommodate what is
easier for him...
...and vice-versa, too, of course.
![[Image: 15323731.gif]](https://d.gr-assets.com/hostedimages/1435262466ra/15323731.gif)
