My Grand Daughter

[madashell]

I don't know if this belongs here or in the religion thread but I just had to vent.

My Grand Daughter, who is a single mother, is trying to buy a house and asked me if I would co sign.  Of course I said I would help her in any way I can but the bank wouldn't accept a co signer and her last request was needing a larger down payment and I don't have to money to loan her.  I told her this and how sorry I was that I was unable to help and her response was "Oh no! I'm sorry papa! It's no big deal though! If I don't get this house then God has something better planned. Thank you! I love you"

This crap about God has something better planned pisses me off and I feel like telling her that she needs to depend upon herself and not some invisible creature in the sky but it would probably only alienate her.  She lives in Texas and I live in Arizona and we don't see each other all that much (like hardly ever).  It just pisses me off that this sweet young woman has become a pawn of the religious wrong and all I can do is grit my teeth and hope that someday she will learn to think for herself and not expect miracles that will never happen. 

So much for my rant.  Thanks for reading.

[Chad32]

Seems like the religious version of the "no sense crying over spilled milk" phrase. Just make sure she doesn't give up completely just because of one hurdle.

[Alex K]

Maybe it's just her way of saying that, given the apparent troubles, her gut tells her that buying this house is maybe not such a good idea right now after all or it's not such a big deal -- and she simply couches her gut instinct in religious language?

[Excited Penguin]

I don't know if this belongs here or in the religion thread but I just had to vent.

My Grand Daughter, who is a single mother, is trying to buy a house and asked me if I would co sign.  Of course I said I would help her in any way I can but the bank wouldn't accept a co signer and her last request was needing a larger down payment and I don't have to money to loan her.  I told her this and how sorry I was that I was unable to help and her response was "Oh no! I'm sorry papa! It's no big deal though! If I don't get this house then God has something better planned. Thank you! I love you"

This crap about God has something better planned pisses me off and I feel like telling her that she needs to depend upon herself and not some invisible creature in the sky but it would probably only alienate her.  She lives in Texas and I live in Arizona and we don't see each other all that much (like hardly ever).  It just pisses me off that this sweet young woman has become a pawn of the religious wrong and all I can do is grit my teeth and hope that someday she will learn to think for herself and not expect miracles that will never happen. 

So much for my rant.  Thanks for reading.

Does she know about your stance on the matter? If you really want to, try and talk to her about it in a non-confrontational way. I can't imagine you'll alienate her if you simply have a friendly conversation.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Let her make her peace with it, offer your support where you can, and don't worry yourself about her phraseology.

[Aoi Magi]

Don't read too much into how she phrased it, it might be nothing at all. She needs hope and support right now, so just focus on that

[madashell]

I don't know if this belongs here or in the religion thread but I just had to vent.

My Grand Daughter, who is a single mother, is trying to buy a house and asked me if I would co sign.  Of course I said I would help her in any way I can but the bank wouldn't accept a co signer and her last request was needing a larger down payment and I don't have to money to loan her.  I told her this and how sorry I was that I was unable to help and her response was "Oh no! I'm sorry papa! It's no big deal though! If I don't get this house then God has something better planned. Thank you! I love you"

This crap about God has something better planned pisses me off and I feel like telling her that she needs to depend upon herself and not some invisible creature in the sky but it would probably only alienate her.  She lives in Texas and I live in Arizona and we don't see each other all that much (like hardly ever).  It just pisses me off that this sweet young woman has become a pawn of the religious wrong and all I can do is grit my teeth and hope that someday she will learn to think for herself and not expect miracles that will never happen. 

So much for my rant.  Thanks for reading.

Does she know about your stance on the matter? If you really want to, try and talk to her about it in a non-confrontational way. I can't imagine you'll alienate her if you simply have a friendly conversation.

She knows that I don't believe in God and I'm sure she didn't even realize what she was saying it's just the language she is learning being in a strong religious area.  I just mourn the fact that she is getting her guidance from so called friends that believe in fairy tales.  I could let her know how I felt about those type remarks and she would understand but I think it's best if I ignore them.  She probably feels sorry that I don't believe and I feel bad that she does. 

I had hopes that this girl would learn to think for herself and not be a joiner but she is naïve and wants so badly to belong that she's an easy target for those that have been brain washed from birth to believe in the invisible man in the sky.

As I wrote earlier, my best course is to ignore the language as it really doesn't mean anything but every time I hear that phrase God has a plan for me, I cringe no matter who says it.

[Joods]

I do too. I usually ask, and what about gods plan for all those kids are who are starving? Or those who get struck down with a terminal illness? Or those who live where there are volcanic eruptions or hurricanes or tornadoes? I guess those people aren't in part of his plan for a happy life.

[SteelCurtain]

I would just caution giving in to thoughts like "so-called" friends, just because people happen to be religious.

People aren't by fiat stupid, malevolent, or incapable of giving sound advice or the "right kind" of support just because they are religious. My mother is about as religious as you can get, and she still gives me good advice and support all the time.

The best you can do and not be a hypocrite is to challenge her assertions with questions that make her think and come to her own conclusions. If her own conclusion is that there is a benevolent being out there looking out for her, and this comforts her, who are you to say she shouldn't, so long as it only affects you insofar as the idea makes you uncomfortable?

[Minimalist]

The muslims say "Insh'allah."  It's the same meaningless shit.