Need advice...

[drakeeeeeeee]

I've been an atheist for about a year now.

I was living with my father and his family, who take their religion very seriously. Anyways, they caught me watching a dirty video, and they sat me down to speak with them. They already know I'm an atheist, and we don't broach the subject too much (mostly because I tell them that I don't like talking about it, since it's pointless of course...) and anyways, they got very upset. My father began yelling, became very upset, cussed, and even told me to go live with my mother. Apparently since I don't believe in Jesus, I cannot change my bad habits.

I didn't want to live in an environment like that, so I came to live with my mother. She is religious as well, but accepts at least that I am an atheist.

My question is this... what are we atheists fighting for? I mean, I definitely think the world would be a better place without religion, but if being an atheist separates me from my family... is it worth it? I mean, I could still be an atheist inside, but lie to everyone... or is that even worth it?

Basically I just need to know that other atheists out there have been hurt badly by their family as well... and I need to hear from other atheists that I am doing some good, at least in the long run, by standing for my (lack of) beliefs... even to my family.

Thank you.

[chasm]

My first bit of advice would be to cut at least 7 e's off your name.

I don't think I could give you advice for your family problems. I am not emotionally attached to my family: I don't need them. I could go on and be happy in life and never speak to them again. It seems like you aren't this kind of person, and I can't relate to that kind of thinking. You know, that I need my family. Fuck them (my family). Anyway, I can relate to the part about them not accepting my beliefs as an atheist. I did get "yelled at" by my mother once, who interrogated me about why I was an atheist. So I can relate to this part. I think your best bet would be to tell your family "I love you, but you have to accept my beliefs. I accept your's! I don't believe the same things as you, and if you don't like it, that's fine. Just don't yell at me about it. I don't yell at you about how stupid your beliefs are, do I? I'm going to do what I'm going to do, and you can do what you're going to do. And if you can't handle that then get out of my life. Now, please pass me the salt."

[Tiberius]

It's a tough one, but families need to learn to let their children go their own way in life. If members of your family cannot accept the fact that you believe differently, there isn't much you can do. Perhaps you could remind them that they weren't exactly being "Christlike"; that might make them think twice before being such assholes about it.

[AtheistPhil]

My question is this... what are we atheists fighting for? I mean, I definitely think the world would be a better place without religion, but if being an atheist separates me from my family... is it worth it? I mean, I could still be an atheist inside, but lie to everyone... or is that even worth it?

It's your family who must accept you like you are. You're really in a tough situation but you're certainly not the only one. Lying to everyone is just not possible, your existence would be hell as you'd have to always think and analyse your every actions before doing it, no one can handle that kind of stress. So the question "is it worth it ?" is meaningless as you have no choice, you are what you are, and you shouldn't feel guilty because your family cannot accept it.

There is a good advice column for atheist on the Friendly Atheist if you want to send them your questions.

[Minimalist]

My question is this... what are we atheists fighting for?

I imagine that everyone has to answer that question for himself. I merely want to be free from superstitious assholes who think a poorly written old book of fairy tales is of some relevance in the 21st century.

The problem with families is the emotional blackmail. "If you don't believe as I do you must be a bad person."

Its your choice if you wish to be your own man or cave in to such obvious extortion. You have to weigh the pros and cons. I'll tell you this. They will not change because they have already swallowed the jesus Kool-Aid. The ball is in your court.

[fritistat]

My father began yelling, became very upset, cussed, and even told me to go live with my mother.

Spoken like a True Christian™ indeed.

My question is this... what are we atheists fighting for? ...

Basically I just need to know that other atheists out there have been hurt badly by their family as well.

You just answered your own question.

I grew up in a religiously strict household, and I'll gladly be the first one to step onto the Heathen Soapbox (with a bullhorn if needed) and acknowledge that religion can utterly destroy an otherwise healthy childhood, both domestically and socially.


Metaphorically, I am Legend encapsulates the insidious mind virus of religion very well.

[TheDarkestOfAngels]

My question is this... what are we atheists fighting for? I mean, I definitely think the world would be a better place without religion, but if being an atheist separates me from my family... is it worth it? I mean, I could still be an atheist inside, but lie to everyone... or is that even worth it?

Basically I just need to know that other atheists out there have been hurt badly by their family as well... and I need to hear from other atheists that I am doing some good, at least in the long run, by standing for my (lack of) beliefs... even to my family.

Thank you.

People fear what they do not understand and many who tightly hold their beliefs don't understand how or why someone wouldn't share them, especially when their beliefs seem so very tangible to them.

If I have to give you any advice whatsoever, however, it's that lying to yourself and your family isn't the way to fix anything. If your shared belief with them is a lie, then whatever relatoinship you have with your family will be based on that lie and NO relationship ever lasts on lies, especially when it so profoundly affects your family.

I'm some anonymous shmuck on the internet giving advice, and to the effect that it's worth, were I in your shoes, I would remove whatever hold up you have against talking about your position on religion. Your family apparently is treating you very different because of it and that's not fair to you. Your family deserves to know who you are and what you do and do not believe in.

[lrh9]

Have patience.