Someone told me to kill myself twice today, I don't know why it's been bothering me

[Reforged]

Our feelings are a big deal. You know why? Because their weaknesses people can exploit. If that guy saw the effect he had on you what do you think his response would be? Say sorry or double down on your tender spot?
Lay your burdens down with your family and occasionally your closest friends but never show any hint of them to people outside those circles. Its akin to showing your throat to a pack of wolves.

Its a game. Its all a game and the objective is control. The moment someone had managed to gain control over how you feel more than you have they've won and you've lost. View it just as that; a game. Nothing to be taken seriously. The move of an amateur that can be quickly countered in devastating fashion.

[Phosphorescent Panties]

It sounds like you are too sensitive for areas of the internet that allow a large degree of freedom of expression.

I don't really understand it though when you say the worse insults didn't hurt you as emotionally as this insult.  Surely by definition what makes an insult worse than other insults is how much it hurts you?

The only other two variables which would affect how hard the insult hit you I can think of would be how sensitive you were feeling that day, or the tone of voice in which in the insult was said.

As insults go it isn't really bad.  It's common on the internet. It's not personal, like he isn't saying you're overweight, ugly, stupid.  And plus this guy was a stranger I'm assuming from how you told the story.  So a stranger said a none personal thing to you that was obviously either a joke or something he said because he has mental issues either due to being raised badly or some genetic disorder or something.  

Do you even know how old the guy was?  If I heard a joke I didn't get now I wouldn't tell that person to kill themselves but I might have said something like that when I was aged 11 to 15.  I remember the first thing I ever did on a chatroom when I was 11 was private message and american and message him saying "You dickhead" Then when he replied back with "What's your problem man?"  Me and my friend were laughing hysterically with excitement.

Well, the thing is, the way it was presented. I am in a generally safe chat room, a nice place where people a friendly. The person's name was duck juzz, so to give you an idea that they're probably just an immature little boy or something, or someone who has some sort of mental disability. I said this joke and they told me to kill myself, I initially said wow I was just joking. Then I later came back and said I would appreciate if they didn't tell people to kill themselves, which then prompted them to tell me to kill myself again. Something about the complete lack of sense to it all, it didn't just offend me, it depressed me. Here I was, doing absolutely nothing but minding my own business, then this person of whom I have no words to describe my contempt for, says something totally awful to me.

Now, I'm not really sure why that made me feel the way I did, but to describe the feeling, it would be like a part of my brain just going cold. I could feel it inside my head, it became sort of like an uncomfortable cold sensation inside my head, just depression. Unpleasant, unhappiness, at the total lack of control that I have over this person. Anger and contempt are things which I feel very strongly towards people, but I try to be kind because that's all I have to my advantage at that point. So, I'd like to explain deeper how it actually made me feel, but it's hard to explain. I guess I just felt at the time that the person was such a contemptible human being, it filled me with disgust. That's about the extent of what I can explain how I was feeling with words, but to a certain point I'm not sure how to convey the actual physical sensation inside of my brain except with words like disgust.

To add; after the altercation, duck juzz was told by a moderator to shut the hell up, after he told me to kill myself again. He then said that this is the internet and you shouldn't take what other people say seriously. It's just, the pure maliciousness and callousness in which someone can insight on someone else. It just disgusted me on such a deep level, I felt as though my whole brain just seized up with the feeling of contempt for what this person had said to me.

[Edwardo Piet]

I really take offence to all this "grow a pair", "get a thicker skin" bullshit, some people just are sensitive and they should be respected for the way they are as much as anyone else is. And pressuring people to be something they are not -- especially if it affects stuff like their mental health -- is just a fucking dick move.

Okay, maybe over time, sure, we can learn to "grow a pair" (although I fucking hate that phrase) some more, because we all -- even sensitive folks like myself -- can learn to be tougher and overcome obstacles and be stronger a life goes on. Even the most sensitive of us.

But growing a thicker skin is something that happens naturally... and even if being given advice on how to grow a thicker skin can/could even work (not sure if that's possible TBH) simply telling someone to "grow a pair" is not only a dick move but fucking unhelpful. It's like telling a teen who isn't fully grown yet who wants to play basketball professionally but is too short currently and is unsure and anxious about whether he/she will be tall enough by the time they become fully grown to just "Grow taller immediately".

Not sure what is helpful in this case... but I'm sure what isn't.

"Grow a pair". Pearls of wisdom directed at a sensitive person........ [/sarcasm]

[AFTT47]

I really take offence to all this "grow a pair", "get a thicker skin" bullshit, some people just are sensitive and they should be respected for the way they are as much as anyone else is.

It isn't a question of not respecting a sensitive person; it's a case of advising a young, sensitive person that this is something they should work on because otherwise, they may be in for a lot of misery down the road. Bring overly sensitive is a handicap because unfortunately, there are a lot of mean people out there and there isn't much any of us can do to change that. A particularly sensitive person is going to have to develop a strategy for dealing with it. If they don't, they will be faced with continuous instances of having their feelings hurt or they will start isolating themselves to avoid it.

Sorry but developing a thicker skin is sound advice. As to how to do that, well, I'm not a psychologist. I do endorse a self-help book by the late Wayne Dwyer called "Your Erroneus Zones. This was his first book (before he started getting mystical) and is very practical. It's probably a good fit for most atheists because it uses a well-reasoned, logical approach. I'm sure there are others like it out there.

[maestroanth]

I really take offence to all this "grow a pair", "get a thicker skin" bullshit, some people just are sensitive and they should be respected for the way they are as much as anyone else is. And pressuring people to be something they are not -- especially if it affects stuff like their mental health -- is just a fucking dick move.

Okay, maybe over time, sure, we can learn to "grow a pair" (although I fucking hate that phrase) some more, because we all -- even sensitive folks like myself -- can learn to be tougher and overcome obstacles and be stronger a life goes on. Even the most sensitive of us.

But growing a thicker skin is something that happens naturally... and even if being given advice on how to grow a thicker skin  can/could even work (not sure if that's possible TBH) simply telling someone to "grow a pair" is not only a dick move but fucking unhelpful. It's like telling a teen who isn't fully grown yet who wants to play basketball professionally but is too short currently and is unsure and anxious about whether he/she will be tall enough by the time they become fully grown to just  "Grow taller immediately".

Not sure what is helpful in this case... but I'm sure what isn't.

"Grow a pair". Pearls of wisdom directed at a sensitive person........ [/sarcasm]

IDK, the thicker skin talk just sounds like an insecurity by those who feel the need to have such a 'thick skin' to begin with.  I mean everyone is equally sensitive, that's what comes along with being a homo sapien.

[maestroanth]

Our feelings are a big deal. You know why? Because their weaknesses people can exploit. If that guy saw the effect he had on you what do you think his response would be? Say sorry or double down on your tender spot?
Lay your burdens down with your family and occasionally your closest friends but never show any hint of them to people outside those circles. Its akin to showing your throat to a pack of wolves.

Its a game. Its all a game and the objective is control. The moment someone had managed to gain control over how you feel more than you have they've won and you've lost. View it just as that; a game. Nothing to be taken seriously. The move of an amateur that can be quickly countered in devastating fashion.

Or you show them your throat as a trick to bait the pack of wolves into a trap you've got set up for them.

Booyah.....

Once they think they have control is when they are most vulnerable. That's why you never trust people who "appear" to be weak as easy targets.  I'm sure Sun Tzu wrote some crap about this somewhere lmao...

[paulpablo]

I really take offence to all this "grow a pair", "get a thicker skin" bullshit, some people just are sensitive and they should be respected for the way they are as much as anyone else is. And pressuring people to be something they are not -- especially if it affects stuff like their mental health -- is just a fucking dick move.

Okay, maybe over time, sure, we can learn to "grow a pair" (although I fucking hate that phrase) some more, because we all -- even sensitive folks like myself -- can learn to be tougher and overcome obstacles and be stronger a life goes on. Even the most sensitive of us.

But growing a thicker skin is something that happens naturally... and even if being given advice on how to grow a thicker skin  can/could even work (not sure if that's possible TBH) simply telling someone to "grow a pair" is not only a dick move but fucking unhelpful. It's like telling a teen who isn't fully grown yet who wants to play basketball professionally but is too short currently and is unsure and anxious about whether he/she will be tall enough by the time they become fully grown to just  "Grow taller immediately".

Not sure what is helpful in this case... but I'm sure what isn't.

"Grow a pair". Pearls of wisdom directed at a sensitive person........ [/sarcasm]

IDK, the thicker skin talk just sounds like an insecurity by those who feel the need to have such a 'thick skin' to begin with.  I mean everyone is equally sensitive, that's what comes along with being a homo sapien.

Not everyone is equally sensitive to things at all, why would you think that?

[Thumpalumpacus]

The way I see it, in a way the guy did you a favor, in the sense that he made it easy for you to identify a useless poster who thinks in internet memes (outdated ones at that!)

Now you know you can place him on "ignore" without worrying about missing insightful points.

Plonk the idiot and move on. A lot of people are assholes. Let that remain their problem, and not yours. "Not my circus, not my monkeys" is good thinking here.

[maestroanth]

IDK, the thicker skin talk just sounds like an insecurity by those who feel the need to have such a 'thick skin' to begin with.  I mean everyone is equally sensitive, that's what comes along with being a homo sapien.

Not everyone is equally sensitive to things at all, why would you think that?

I just mean in a grand perspective of things as us people as a species. If you compare our species, to say squirrels, we're going to be much more sensitive, and we're going to be roughly equal when viewed with one individual to another individual of our species on that grandiose of a viewpoint.

And to follow up, any species more aware than us, is likely to be that much more sensitive than us! Maybe if that's what "God" is, it explains why he's such a whiney bastard.

[SteelCurtain]

Yup. It's obvious now who this was...