Can I just say, and I'm just being honest...

[Edwardo Piet]

I just told you I don't want you to walk around on eggshells. I'mlglad you've been honest to me. I'm hurt not because I'm hypersensitive but because I thought I meant more to you than that, I thought I was a closer friend to you than that. I thought you knew me better than that. And you continue to tell me it's what you think. That's fine. I do want your honesty. I'm telling you I want your honesty and I'm glad you told me. I feel like I've love a friend now. But I'd rather know what you really think than not know, saves more hurt later.

I can be hurt and express hurt honestly without needing to talk to a therapist about it and without my expression of hurt meaning I don't want anyone to tell me things. I do.

It reminds me of this stupid "See this is why I can't tell you things" line that some people say... it's so annoying when I'm told that I can honestly express how I feel and then when I do, if those feelings that I honestly express are hurt, that is misinterpreted to mean that the person can't tell me anything that hurts me. They can and when someone such as yourself hurts me, if I'm supposed to be able to give an honest answer, and if you really respect honesty and sincerity, and dislike dishonesty and sincerity, then when I'm sincere and honest in my expression about feeling hurt it does not mean that you can't be honest with me especially when I'm telling you that you can and I'm glad that you have told me.

So we're cool, I feel like I've lost a friend, but I'm glad you were honest with me and I'm glad I was honest with you. You're entitled to express your opinion honestly and I'm entitled to express my hurt honestly and I'm glad that we both honestly expressed these things because it's the truth and because I value the truth, value sincerity, am truthful and am sincere.

If this feels emotional or dramatic to anyone else... it's because I feel that I've lost a friend. I don't think that's an overreaction. It's done now. I'll get over it.

[Edwardo Piet]

I have no control over how you choose to take things.

I know. I don't expect you to.

Tone and inflection are impossible to see in written word unless they are accompanied by a myriad of emoticons. I go by what I have seen.

I know.

If you want to be all hurt because I said the truth about what I have seen, I can't help you.

I don't want to be hurt. I am hurt. I'm entitled to that. I'm being honest about it. It's a normal human emotion that is healthy for me to honestly express. I know you can't help me, I don't expect you to help me, I don't want you to help me and I don't need you to help me.

I'm entitled to my opinions here too, like em or leave em.

I know. I said you're entitled to it. I am glad you're expressing them. I don't have to react with positive emotion for me to want you to be honest about them. I'm reacting with honest emotion and there's nothing wrong with feeling honestly hurt.

I'm not going to get into it with you because I stated an observation.

I know. I don't expect you to.

If you didn't want your own comings and goings commented on, perhaps you should have not commented on someone else's.

I do want them honesty commented on. I'm glad you've been honest.

I mean, you have the right to say as you wish

I do.

but don't get all hurt

I'm entitled to honestly express my hurt. Or do you not want my honesty?

when your own skeletons fall out and are brought up by someone who sees where you are guilty of doing the same things.

As Shell B said, there's nothing wrong with leaving repeatedly so there's nothing to be guilty about. This is about honesty and sincerity. I believe personally that EP was insincere about it, whereas I am not.

Whether or not you meant to stay away or what your reasons were, isn't the issue. The fact that you commented on EP's leaving half a dozen times, when you are guilty of doing the same thing, IS the point.

No because my point was that EP has been insincere in his leaving, in my opinion, and you compared me to him. When I said the difference is I'm sincere you said that it's hard to take either of us seriously.

You're entitled to that. I'm glad you've been honest about it. Am I allowed to be honestly hurt by it or do you have a problem with that? Am I not entitled to my own sincere feelings of hurt?

Then perhaps you should speak to your therapist about it.

Honestly expressing my hurt to someone who I thought was my friend and thought knew me better after they called me insincere is NOT something to see my therapist about. In fact it's the OPPOSITE. Being completely honest in my expression of my feelings is HEALTHY. If I instead pretended to not be hurt by what you said that would be more something to speak to my therapist about.

People are not going to walk around on eggshells to protect the feelings of others.

I don't want anyone to. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying I want people to be honest with me and I'm glad you are being. Read my posts: I say you're entitled to your opinion and I'm glad you're being honest with me. I honestly mean that.

Would you rather I had walked around on eggshells rather than expressing my hurt honestly to you? Too bad, it's not against the rules of AF for me to honestly express my hurt feelings to you and because I thought you were my friend and because I have been a friend to you I'm going to tell you honestly that you've hurt me and I feel like I've lost my friendship. I'm honest with people.

You're in an adult world.

I know.

You can either go around acting like a child who was just scolded or you can say "meh" and move on.

I'm not acting like a child who was scolded. There's nothing to be scolded about, I've done nothing wrong, neither of us have: we've both been honest and you're entitled to your opinion that I'm insincere and I'm entitled to my hurt about it. I'm behaving like the adult I am by being honest about it. I've done the adult thing. I've done the healthy thing. I've done the healthy adult thing. I've honestly expressed my feelings of hurt rather than pretending not to have them. I can handle your honesty and I'm handling it with my own honest response about why it hurts me and why I feel like I've lost a friend. Can you handle the honest expression of my feelings? I'm sure you can, you're in the adult world just like I am.

I'm over it now so let's leave it at that. Thank you for being honest. I'm glad that you were. I hope you are also glad that I was too rather than pretending not to be hurt.

Bottom line Evie is this: if you're going to pick apart someone else's faults,

The fault that I was addressing was my own opinion that EP is not sincere. I have no such fault.

don't act all hurt when it's done to you.

Don't tell me not to express my hurt. I'm not "acting" hurt, I am hurt. I'm entitled to that hurt, and it's my hurt not yours. And, again, it's healthy and adult for me to honestly express it: I'm comfortable with my emotions and it's healthy for me to be that way.

I feel that I have lost a friend so I'm done here. I certainly can't feel the same way about you when I thought you knew me so much better and thought so much more of me than thinking of me as an insincere hypocrite. I am hurt but I'll get over it. I guess I thought we were closer than we were.

[Joods]

@ Evie:
Nice job of picking apart my post there. Especially that last sentence. You spend way too much time creating lengthy text walls that don't accomplish a thing.

I didn't tell you not to express your feelings
Read the whole sentence as I wrote it. Not as you picked it apart and got what you wanted out of it.

You also tried placing unfounded guilt on me by insinuating in an earlier post, that because I hurt your feelings, you can't write your music now. I am not going to feel bad because you decided to make a post about EP and I reacted to it and because I did, you can't go on with your plans? Give me a break. You're thousands of miles away and yet YOU choose to let my post prevent you from doing what you want simply because I called you out for doing the exact same thing you say you can't stand EP doing?

And now you're trying to place even more guilt by repeatedly saying you think you've lost a friend? Simply because I pointed out a fault?
Whatever.

CIJS in general and not directed to any one particular person:

I know shit about people. And they don't know that I know what I know. But I keep it to myself because for one, it's no one else's business and for two, it's not mine to bring up. Bullshitters have a way of outing themselves and eventually others will see the fake ass shit for what it is. But damn. I get so tired of seeing the dishonesty and the fronts from the people who want everyone to believe they are person "A", when they are really person "B". It makes me sick to my stomach. And I have too much respect for those I care about, who have been through more than their share of crap in this world, that I continue to stay silent, for them. I can't stand being put in the middle of a friends problems, knowing that I am not able to speak up and do something about it.

[brewer]

Oh, don't be hurt, Evie. Nym rage quit and came back a hot minute later too. Nobody has to explain themselves about it. People get disenchanted, post about it, realize they like it here or have nothing better to do and come back. It's the circle of the Internet.

Apologies, couldn't help myself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GibiNy4d4gc&t=95

At least it wasn't Hakuna Matata.

[Excited Penguin]

Ham, I never dishonestly expressed my intention to leave... I am not a dishonest person. But I've noticed it doesn't seem to stick, so even though I still can't help but post about it everytime I feel the need to leave I've learned to make my posts a little more ambiguous in anticipation of the event that I won't leave after all and it will embarass me in the eyes of others... Little things, yes, but I too care about them.

As for your evaluation of my character, it's fine. Not because I am indifferent to it in general, or because I think you are right, but because by this point I've grown used to it. People blow things out of proportion with me all the time. It can't be helped, I guess. It is what it is.


You're overreacting to Nymph's posts, I think.

[Edwardo Piet]

@ Evie:
Nice job of picking apart my post there. Especially that last sentence. You spend way too much time creating lengthy text walls that don't accomplish a thing.

I'm not trying to accomplish something. I'm just honestly expressing myself. I'm proud to be who and how I am and comfortable in my own skin, my posts are more about authenticity and honest opinions and freethinking than accomplishment.

I didn't tell you not to express your feelings

I didn't tell you that you told me to not express my feelings. You told me literally to "not act all hurt", I told you to not tell me to not to do that. If you're going to tell me what to do I'm going to tell you to not tell me what to do.

Read the whole sentence as I wrote it.

I did.

You also tried placing unfounded guilt on me by insinuating in an earlier post, that because I hurt your feelings, you can't write your music now.

I didn't say that. I said I don't feel like writing my music right now, and I probably won't today, because I feel too hurt. You're not responsible for that. You're not responsible for my hurt, I'm responsible for my hurt. I never said otherwise and I insinuated nothing. Please I ask you not to falsely accuse me of insinuating something I haven't insinuated.

I am not going to feel bad because you decided to make a post about EP and I reacted to it and because I did, you can't go on with your plans?

You're entitled to however you're going to feel and I'm entitled to however I'm going to feel.

Give me a break. You're thousands of miles away and yet YOU choose to let my post prevent you from doing what you want simply because I called you out for doing the exact same thing you say you can't stand EP doing?

I'm not choosing anything. I'm hurt whether I like it or not and whether you like it or not and that's fine and sincere and denying it would be unhealthy of me. I don't choose to feel hurt and you're not responsible for it. I am. I simply am hurt and I'm glad that I'm hurt because the feeling of hurt is a healthy normal human emotional reaction to how I've interpreted this situation: feeling I've lost a friend.

And now you're trying to place even more guilt by repeatedly saying you think you've lost a friend?

I'm not trying to place any guilt. I'm honestly not trying to do anything other than honestly express my feelings. Again, as I have asked but you didn't answer: Would you rather I hadn't been honest about my feelings?

If you are incorrectly interpreting me as trying to make you feel guilty then that has nothing to do with me: I've only been honest about what I feel. I'm not trying to make anyone feel guilty, I'm only trying to--and succeeding in--telling the truth about my opinions and feelings.

Simply because I pointed out a fault?
Whatever.

You're not listening. I said I'm glad you pointed out what you honestly think is a fault of mine (insincerity) and I'm glad I responded with my honesty too: by telling you I'm not insincere, I'm sincere and that I feel hurt by you thinking otherwise.

If you're going to answer anything I say answer this:

Are you glad that I was honest about my feelings and my hurt to you?

[Edwardo Piet]

CIJS in general and not directed to any one particular person:

I get so tired of seeing the dishonesty and the fronts from the people who want everyone to believe they are person "A", when they are really person "B".

Yeah I get tired of that too, we have common ground there.

You're overreacting to Nymph's posts, I think.

Like I said, I've lost a friend so feeling hurt is not an overreaction.

There's no overreacting here. Just honest healthy human adult expression of the emotion of hurt. And Nym seems, in all honestly, rather displeased that I honestly expressed my hurt with all this talk of "eggshells" and telling me not to "act all hurt" when I honestly express that emotion. As I asked her: Is she glad that I honestly expressed my hurt? (like I'm glad that she honestly expressed her opinion that I reacted to with my own hurt that I am responsible for). She hasn't answered that once yet.

I thought I was done. I guess it's not as easy to step away from this as I thought. I was expecting to get a "yes" or "no" on whether Nym was glad that I was honest with her or not... but since it hasn't happened it's hard for me to not respond.

[Thumpalumpacus]

It's too nice a day for bickering, y'all, come on.

[Joods]

Agreed Thump. I have things to do today.

[Edwardo Piet]

I'm not bickering I'm just expressing my feelings and asking if Nym is glad that I was honest about them. She still hasn't answered. If she doesn't want to that's okay. I don't know what to think. She's called me insincere, a hypocrite, falsely accused me of intentionally guilt tripping, told me not to "act all hurt" when I was honestly expressing my hurt, told me she shouldn't have to walk on "eggshells" when I told her she didn't have to repeatedly, and more than once not answered when I asked her if she was glad I was honest with her about my feelings... and that's fine but I'm not bickering by expressing hurt.

I'm not bickering here: I'm just being hurt and expressing that hurt honestly and then getting the reaction telling me not to "act all hurt". So I'm certainly not bickering. I just got hurt, which is fine, and expressed that hurt honestly, which is fine, and then I just wanted to know if she was glad I was honest about my feelings, which is fine. This is all fine and honest.

I really don't understand all this reaction that when someone is honest about their feelings (me in this case) and someone else doesn't like it (Nym in this case) then according to them the person who was honest about their feelings can't deal with what they said even though it's they who seems to have a problem with them honestly expressing the feelings which they're entitled to express and even though the person who seems to have a problem with that honest emotional expression supposedly values honesty and yet not only seems to have a problem with it but repeatedly fails to answer the following question that would very directly clear things up: Are you glad I honestly expressed my feelings of hurt to you or not?