Cynical view of happiness.

[Thumpalumpacus]

I'm responsible for my own emotions. Defining my own happiness in comparison to others is in a sense giving them control over my feelings. Rather than do that, I look at the things in my life that I like and base my happiness there.

[lisah]

Well, maybe. I had a shitty last couple of days, yet there were moments of happiness that helped push through it. But, it is not like I was struggling to find those moments of happiness. They just happened during those shitty days.

What were the moments of happiness?

When coworkers would come into the office just to hang out and chill for a couple of minutes.

Normally, I'm anxious around people, unless I have something specific to do or say. It was nice not to feel that way for a change. You know, no agenda. Just a few moments between crises to just to chill with other people. It was good, and gave a pinch of happiness to my day here and there.

[Silver]

Happiness is a personal struggle.

In the end, happiness is more a perception of one's ideal than a reality.

Even when that ideal has been met, how many times has personal happiness crumbled?

[Edwardo Piet]

If I believe I am not happy when I am, I start to feel unhappy.

And if I believe I am happy when I am not, I start to feel happy.

It can become true because emotions are psychological and influenced by beliefs. If I believe I have won the top prize in the lottery I'll feel amazing even if I've won fuck all.

DISCLAIMER: Doesn't work with religion.

[bennyboy]

Sure, I agree you can consciously make yourself less happy. (As far as such a notion makes sense.) And make it harder for yourself to be happy. Although again, not instantly. Unless you do something really dumb to yourself I guess.

I mean you don't suddenly decide you need X or else you'll be miserable, any more than you can suddenly not need X and be happy.

I have a lot of experience with depression.  Different people's depression is different, but let me mention my experience.  For me, depression is like a heavy weight.  But if I can start building some positive momentum, I can sometimes get through it.  Sometimes, I play the "just one" or the "just one more" game.  I'll do some very small task-- make my bed, throw out a toothpaste box from the bathroom, whatever.  Then since I'm already up, I'll see if I can talk myself into doing just one more thing.

Sometimes, I end up breaking free from the chains for a while and really accomplishing a lot in a day.  That momentum will go for a while-- usually a couple days but once for a couple of months.

But that's my interpretation of depression-- it's negative momentum, not sadness.  So the cure isn't trying to make yourself happy.  It's trying to build up some momentum by getting out of bed and getting things done.

/my 2 cents

[robvalue]

I'm sure it's different for everyone, in how it feels and how it can be fought. There are certainly things you can do that lead things in a positive way, and the same with negatives.

They don't always work though, however good the intentions are. It depends just how bad the depression is. Unfortunately in my case I'm depressed mainly because I have ME, which means I have little energy to do things even if I can convince myself to do them.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Not that I have personal experience, but yeah, "just think your way out of it" seems easier said than done. I only have fits of depression, which make me think they're environmental and not genetic predispostion. I can and do think my way out of them. But I've folks in my life with whom that just doesn't work. Medication coupled with personal therapy helps them not swallow a gun or an overdose.

I wish I had something less obvious and more insightful to give this conversation.

[bennyboy]

I'm sure it's different for everyone, in how it feels and how it can be fought. There are certainly things you can do that lead things in a positive way, and the same with negatives.

They don't always work though, however good the intentions are. It depends just how bad the depression is. Unfortunately in my case I'm depressed mainly because I have ME, which means I have little energy to do things even if I can convince myself to do them.

Let me say two things on that.  First, chemistry is chemistry, and sometimes only chemistry can fight that, and sometimes not even that.  Second, there are times when there's really nothing wrong with being depressed.  Sometimes, life sucks, and you'd have to be deliberately delusional not to be depressed.  I mean-- if my whole family died in a car crash, I wouldn't be out in the garden sniffing roses.  I'd be in bed with the covers over my head waiting for Godot.  Maybe some stroke of luck would bring someone/something into my life to bring it meaning again, maybe it wouldn't-- but it wouldn't really be up to me to go out and find it.

So yeah, saying how I try to get out of it when I have a bout of depression for sure shouldn't be taken as a criticism of anyone who aren't in a position to do that.  But that was my only contribution: not to try to affect your own FEELINGS, but just trying to do things in life despite the feelings, and sometimes that gives a little sunshine at least in my case-- "Yeah my life still sucks, but that new coat of paint looks pretty nice" or whatever.