Raising an Atheist

[Casca]

My wife and I are having our first child soon (she's due last week of December). We fully intend to raise our daughter secular, but I am unsure of how to handle social situations when she gets older: like if her friends are religious, or if she's excluded from social gatherings because of it.

Do you have children, and did you raise them Atheist? Did you run into any obstacles?

If you don't, what would you do? Religion, no religion, or expose them to everything and let them decide?

[Jesster]

I think it's far more important to focus on raising a skeptic than worrying about them being an atheist. Skepticism usually leads to atheism anyway, and it also helps with plenty of other life lessons. If raised a skeptic, then there's absolutely no problem with being introduced to every religion. The more the better at that point.

I don't have children though, so don't just take my word for it.

[Jackalope]

I am raising mine to be a critical thinker and make his own decisions as to what he believes.

[abaris]

Do you have children, and did you raise them Atheist? Did you run into any obstacles?

I don't have any, but I remember my own upbringing. I wasn't raised an atheist, but I was raised to always question to love science and to always be tolerant towards others. In short to employ my own mind and values instead of being indotrinated by anyone. That's my recommendation, whatever you make of it.

[Crossless2.0]

Aside from instilling good principles of character (truth-telling, responsibility, the value of hard work, kindness, charity, etc.), focus on teaching your children how to think well rather than what to think. Once they have reached the age of reason (this will vary a bit on a child by child basis), there is no harm in exposing them to the various religious belief systems and letting them come to their own conclusions. However, before they have attained that degree of maturity, I would keep an eagle eye out for people with an agenda trying to convert your kids. When my son was young, I had occasion to fight rearguard actions against certain well-meaning adults who thought my parenting was incomplete because we were a secular family and needed their 'help'. Usually, one firm conversation sufficed to put a stop to that.

I can't recall any bad social situations that arose as a result of our secularism, so I don't have any advice there. Most religious children, in my experience, aren't pushy douchebags about it -- unless they are hardcore fundamentalists or Evangelicals, in which case your children might naturally avoid them out of disdain anyway.

[Whateverist]

My wife and I are having our first child soon (she's due last week of December). We fully intend to raise our daughter secular, but I am unsure of how to handle social situations when she gets older: like if her friends are religious, or if she's excluded from social gatherings because of it.

Do you have children, and did you raise them Atheist? Did you run into any obstacles?

If you don't, what would you do? Religion, no religion, or expose them to everything and let them decide?

I met my current wife when my stepson was 6.  She and I are both atheists and in addition Lia is openly dismissive toward all things woo.  Unfortunately her ex was raised a mormon and switched to other forms of far out woo.  While I helped steer his mom away from running down her ex when K was around, her ex was very unconscious in that regard.  Anyhow, maybe it was his dad's influence or maybe religion just leaves a hole?  But my stepson grew up to become a priest in that cult involving the Brazilian guy who calls himself John of God.  Weird shit.

I mean, most (though not all) of us grew up in a tradition we rejected.  Our kids can only differentiate themselves from us by way of  religion or woo.  I'm able to talk with my stepson, now 40 and working as a mechanical engineer, about such things in a nonjudgmental way, finding commonality and not getting hung up on particular words.  His mother can't and doesn't want to do that.  

Anyway, that was our experience and I'm sure there are people here who have been able to bring their kids up in a way rich enough in meaning as not to leave them hungering after the extra special supernatural.  It didn't help that his dad was such an enabler and pretty pushy about it.  (It is some consolation that my stepson now regards his dad as inflexible about spirituality and avoids discussing any of it with him.)  I don't know how likely this is to be a problem for other people looking to raise secular kids.

[account_inactive]

If I had any kids, I would raise them to think for themselves.

[brewer]

I didn't get that opportunity.

And of course it depends on raise.

http://www.physics.umanitoba.ca/~birchal...ture18.pdf

[Catholic_Lady]

My wife and I are having our first child soon (she's due last week of December). We fully intend to raise our daughter secular, but I am unsure of how to handle social situations when she gets older: like if her friends are religious, or if she's excluded from social gatherings because of it.

Do you have children, and did you raise them Atheist? Did you run into any obstacles?

If you don't, what would you do? Religion, no religion, or expose them to everything and let them decide?

In my opinion:

Teach her the values that are important to you. When she grows up a little bit she'll get to the point where she'll reevaluate everything for herself and decide whether she wants to stay atheist or possibly explore a little spirituality of some sort. Teach her to have tolerance and respect for those who believe differently than her. And teach her that if anyone has an issue with what she does or doesn't believe, that's their problem.

[Mudhammam]

My wife and I are having our first child soon (she's due last week of December). We fully intend to raise our daughter secular, but I am unsure of how to handle social situations when she gets older: like if her friends are religious, or if she's excluded from social gatherings because of it.

Do you have children, and did you raise them Atheist? Did you run into any obstacles?

If you don't, what would you do? Religion, no religion, or expose them to everything and let them decide?

I pretty much fully agree with Dennett's suggestion, and is how I will raise a child if I am given the opportunity; begin around the 4:30 mark: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTepA-WV...29BFAE3DD9