Child raising and touchy subjects.

[justin]

Hi everyone. I have three children. Twin girls and a son. Right now the girls are 16 months and the boy 5 months. I am young father. The mother and her are Xtians and so are all my family except my niece. I am one with very strong feelings aand thoughts about religion. Very different feelings than my family, her family, well i live in SC so a lot of people. I grew up here so i know how the religious folk will manipulate children and indocternate them. I am aware of sensitive things will be when they get older. I know they will be told things that they shouldn't be told told. People concern small children with massive issues instead of just leaving them alone and letting them be kids. I remember growing up scared as all get up that i was going to hell. Growing up was difficult because the religion here affects so much of how people act, talk, dress, teach, etc. I was taught gays were sinners choosing to rebel against god (thankfully not from MY family). I was taught that even thought would convict you of sins. I was very confused, scared, depressed because i felt no matter what iI was this sick peicepeace of "dirty,disgusting, useless wash cloth" as my preacher put it once. Anyways, i know what it is like to grow up with religious nutjobs and even be one. But i wasn't aware until i had to do some "soul searching". i don't agree with the religious morals or dogmas. So raising children is a touchy subject. I fear for my children and them being brainwashed. I will and want to do my best to teach them better but i know things are coming like, "i am ashamed of how you tell your children there isn't a god" "where are they going to get their moral from" blah blah blah. My question is does anyone have any tips? Tips on how to handle these things? I worry very much about my children and i figured maybe someone has had similar experiances or something. I just want them to be able to live life without all that crazy B.S until much as possible though i know it won't happen like that. So i wannaa try to be a little prepared for these things.

[Doubting Thomas]

I, too, remember being terrified of Hell as a child and hoping that everything I did was good enough to please God. While my wife will probably try to instill religious belief into our kids, I don't want them to grow up with the same superstitious phobia.

[pineapplebunnybounce]

I remember growing up scared as all get up that i was going to hell.

I had this fear as well. It was very horrible for me. And when my great grandma died I felt so awful because she didn't believe and that I never tried even once to convert her. It went on for days and days until i tried to convince myself not to take hell seriously because it was so hard to cope with.

while idk anything about kids, if there's only one thing you can prevent them from believing, hell would be the one i'd pick.

[justin]

I know a lot of people will tell them things that are B.S. iI guess I just wanna protect them from the damage that stuff can do to a child.

[Rahul]

I was terrified of hell as well as a kid. I think it should be considered a form of child abuse.

I've got two girls 8 & 9. Neither my wife nor I are believers, but my parents are. Every summer I let my parents take them for a week for summer bible camp back in my old home town. And they come back singing church songs and talking about god.

I just approach it by pointing out that a lot of people don't believe what nana and papa believe. I tell them that I don't believe in it. If they say something in defense of what they have learned I ask them the tough questions.

I don't actively teach them anything other than to question everything.

When they come to me with questions, I give it to them honestly.

Yesterday my 9 year old had got some stickers in her foot from walking outside barefoot. She asked me why god made stickers.

That resulted in a fun conversation about evolution. Including how Chimps and Humans share a common ancestor.

I'll take care of them. And they will know all about Christianity thanks to my parents. By the time they get to be 15-16 years old they'll be able to tear Christianity to shreds.

[justin]

Well i was thinking of actually teaching them ahead of time about different religions or wait till they start asking about them, which i think will come sooner than it should. but that nulls the point of just letting them be kids. it is frustrating. kids don`t understand these kinda of things and they are easily taken advantage of. which i am scared can do alot of harm in the long run if not handled properly. I don`t want them to think they shouldn`t question things and that is what i fear that someone will teach them when talking about their religion with them while i`m not around (i am not with the mother). might just have to be a pain in my ass.

[Foxaèr]

The only time I became terrified of Hell was when I realized I was gay. I honestly believed that if I did not become straight that I would burn for eternity when I died. It took me a couple of years to come to terms with who I was as a homosexual, accepting myself even if the church would not due to its ignorance.

---

i know things are coming like, "i am ashamed of how you tell your children there isn't a god" "where are they going to get their moral from" blah blah blah.

I would not concern myself with what others think. Everyone parents differently, and so long as you provide your children with love and security it does not matter what some religious nutter thinks in regards to your parenting style. After all, I personally consider indoctrination a form of child abuse, but the law does not recognize that. Neither does the law mandate that you must teach your children about god.

If a theists makes some comment toward you in regards to not teaching your children about god, I would make the comment, You raise your children the way you want, and I will raise my children the way I want, and leave it at that.

[justin]

Yeah idk what i would do when i was that age if i was attracted to guys. The fear would be insane. Now is better than it use to be with how people view gays round here. i myself use to have a bad attitude toward gays. just the way i was taught. thankfully for my sister she is mainly a lip service xtian so she helped me by contradicting her bible. lol. When i read the bible and realized it didn`t make sense and taught things to be right that were in no shape right i realized that crazy book wasn`t any good.

[festive1]

I have two boys, 7 and 5. I don't walk around complaining about religion, but I do look for teachable moments. Like when the Jewish bakery was closed for Passover and they wanted to know why. I told them the story, minus the killing of the first born, and they basically responded with, "People really believe that happened?" I explained, yes, some people do. Do you think that could have happened? We discussed it. There's tons of times like these as a parent, visiting the zoo, the library, or anytime they ask about how the world works. Also, demonstrating how you're open to talking about things is a good way to ensure that if they feel nervous about something (like going to hell), that they'll talk to you about it. Chin up! Kids are smart and curious. If given two different sets of info, they're good at sniffing out the bullshit.

[Minimalist]

I told them the story, minus the killing of the first born,

Why leave that out? Makes god look like a prick. Kids can figure that out.