I finally did it!

[Brian37]

So I finally bit the bullet and posted on facebook. I said that I am an atheist and I didn't think it was fair that Christians could post all of the christian stuff but as an atheist I felt worried about posting, so I basically said that was changing that day! Ever since then I've openly posted things I thought were funny! That was 2 days ago and I have very stratigically been avoiing talking to my family. 

You know, no messages, no phone calls, blah blah. Even though I really wanted to call my dad at times, I still avoided it. 

Soooo I had heard nothing from them for two days so I just enjoyed being free to be me! Until today. I received a message today from my grandmother and here it is.

Good morning! I saw on your FB page that you are an atheist. We all have one life to live to make our decisions about life and death - we all have to choose our path. I love you so much and respect that you can choose what you want. Just research your choices - we all have an eternity to live with them. I'm sending you a few youtube videos to watch. I hope you'll watch them and it'll help with your decisions. You've got [My son] that you'll take with you.

Here's the fantastically hilarious links, just in case you're curious.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xn_l2yS6H2o - this guy is babbling about how on the 23rd of September the star of Bethlehem will be visible. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDRj3MsN...0X&index=2   - Uh another video about the 23rd of September. 

Not sure how any of this is supposed to make me change my mind. 

I'm not judging you - I love you and want you to be sure.

I'll just say I'm sure. for sure. But this is my grandmother so I have to be polite, here's what I finally decided to say in response. 

Mimi I love you guys so much, It's not something I took lightly.. I did a lot of research and this is what I feel is right. I've never been so sure.

I typed and retyped that a lot. My goal was to not start an argument but to explain myself. 

So That's all I have for now. if things get interesting I will update ya'll.

That is a pretty mild response, all be it still passive aggressive with the "we all have an eternity to live with them". She respects you but still worships a god who will torture you forever for not kissing his ass? So she loves something she has never seen more than her own family? 

I am sure your family loves you, but I am also sure they don't understand how selfish and narcissistic that post was. They have it so deeply ingrained that they are right, the thought of being wrong frightens them. My younger sister got it far worse when she first came out. 

If you want them to get used to it, best bet is not to make a battle out of it. Be firm and if they bring it up remind them that they brought it up and if they do they must either be willing to listen, or simply not bring it up. You have a right to post what you want on your page no matter what. I kept my social media separate from my mom because we were not into the same things, not just on that subject. It didn't matter because I called her on the phone every day and saw her almost every day.

If they suck the life out of you in person and wont leave it alone, that is something you don't have to put up with. If they can handle it but still are up to you being around them, then show them other things that say you still love them, like doing things with them, or for them without that topic being brought up. 

If you don't let them bait you and you simply do the things you did before, they will grow to get used to it even if they never understand you. You have a right to be you but from now on, when you see that it might get angry on either side, know when to back off and don't let them emotionally blackmail you into silence either. You may both simply have to end up agreeing not to discuss it.

[brewer]

I'm pretty sure my whole family knows now. it's funny how one little statement spreads in my family. I suspect they're planning a conversation. :/

You could always pray that they don't.

Oh, wait.

[The Valkyrie]

Well done.

At least your grandmother didn't immediately cut you off and refuse to talk to you as happens to so many atheists when their religious family finds out.

[Lek]

It sounds like you really resent your dad and grandmother.  Is it just because they don't care about you and only want to make you a christian or have they treated you badly in other ways throughout your life?

[Brian37]

It sounds like you really resent your dad and grandmother.  Is it just because they don't care about you and only want to make you a christian or have they treated you badly in other ways throughout your life?

Not this shit again. First the crap about NDEs now the "you got treated badly" crap.

What does an atheist's upbringing have to do with it? Bill Gates is an atheist and he had a good upbringing. James Randi is an atheist whom also did well and has never drank or smoked. 

Theists are the majority in this country, so they are also going to be the majority who do well and also the majority who fill up prisons. Atheists are no different other than we are a minority. Some of us do well others don't do so well.

Overbearing parents or parents that abuse kids are not evidence that the victim is rejecting a god claim based on that. I was bullied as a kid, grew up with nothing but boy bullies on my street. I got beat up alot. But that is not the reason I reject any god claim. I didn't pick up Hinduism or Buddhism either as a result of that bad happening to me.

We don't reject god claims because bad happens, we reject all religions and god claims for one reason only, LACK OF EVIDENCE.

You cannot have it both ways.

You don't get to say, "If the atheist does well they are greedy"

You don't get to say, "If the atheist is abused it was because they didn't believe".

Lots of Christians are greedy, and lots of Christians stay Christians even after being abused, some of them even go on to abuse their kids themselves.

Bad things will happen to every human at some point, it can be health declining from old age, it can be from natural disaster, disease, crime, accidental death, and yes even being abused by parents or other kids, but those things happen worldwide. We are not atheists because bad things can happen to us. Your claims simply lack evidence.

[Lek]

Not this shit again. First the crap about NDEs now the "you got treated badly" crap.

What does an atheist's upbringing have to do with it? Bill Gates is an atheist and he had a good upbringing. James Randi is an atheist whom also did well and has never drank or smoked. 

Theists are the majority in this country, so they are also going to be the majority who do well and also the majority who fill up prisons. Atheists are no different other than we are a minority. Some of us do well others don't do so well.

Overbearing parents or parents that abuse kids are not evidence that the victim is rejecting a god claim based on that. I was bullied as a kid, grew up with nothing but boy bullies on my street. I got beat up alot. But that is not the reason I reject any god claim. I didn't pick up Hinduism or Buddhism either as a result of that bad happening to me.

We don't reject god claims because bad happens, we reject all religions and god claims for one reason only, LACK OF EVIDENCE.

You cannot have it both ways.

You don't get to say, "If the atheist does well they are greedy"

You don't get to say, "If the atheist is abused it was because they didn't believe".

Lots of Christians are greedy, and lots of Christians stay Christians even after being abused, some of them even go on to abuse their kids themselves.

Bad things will happen to every human at some point, it can be health declining from old age, it can be from natural disaster, disease, crime, accidental death, and yes even being abused by parents or other kids, but those things happen worldwide. We are not atheists because bad things can happen to us. Your claims simply lack evidence.

You got me wrong. I agree with most of the points you made here, but I wasn't trying to make the point that you assumed I was. My impression was that she was acting ungrateful and bratty to the people who raised her. Not only did I raise my kids as christians, but I loved and cared for them in every way. If my daughter despised me because I taught her christianity, I'd be pretty hurt. So I was trying to determine if there was something else involved. If so, then I can understand. If not, then I think she's acting ungratefully to those who lovingly cared for her from birth to the present. If I became an atheist and my parents tried to talk me out of it, I wouldn't turn from then, but would try to convince them of why I became one.

[The Valkyrie]

Actually, Lek, what this reads to me is someone who has made a decision not to believe in the religion they were brought up in and the family just won't accept that fact. It's something we, as atheists encounter quite a lot.

I don't see any hatred or disdain here. I do see frustration.

From a personal perspective, 20 years after I became an atheist, my mother and her sisters, Catholics, are still pushing their beliefs on me, even when I tell them that's enough.

Yet they have the gall to complain about other relatives, Jehovah's Witnesses, trying to push their brand of cultish Christianity onto the Catholics. "Can't they accept boundaries??"

[Minimalist]

I'm pretty sure my whole family knows now. it's funny how one little statement spreads in my family. I suspect they're planning a conversation. :/

Just hope it isn't an "intervention."

[The Valkyrie]

I'm pretty sure my whole family knows now. it's funny how one little statement spreads in my family. I suspect they're planning a conversation. :/

Just hope it isn't an "intervention."

Yes, I understand deprogrammers are expensive.

[Lek]

Actually, Lek, what this reads to me is someone who has made a decision not to believe in the religion they were brought up in and the family just won't accept that fact.  It's something we, as atheists encounter quite a lot.

I don't see any hatred or disdain here.  I do see frustration.

From a personal perspective, 20 years after I became an atheist, my mother and her sisters, Catholics, are still pushing their beliefs on me, even when I tell them that's enough.

Yet they have the gall to complain about other relatives, Jehovah's Witnesses, trying to push their brand of cultish Christianity onto the Catholics.  "Can't they accept boundaries??"

I can sympathize with you, but she just announced her decision and hasn't even talked to her dad since.