Am I nuts? I like Jesus..:)

[Brian37]

It is a bullshit story, and was manufactured AFTER the fact by the NT writers.

If I wrote a book today and claimed in it, "Donald Trump gave me 1 Billion dollars, and 500 people witnessed him write the check and hand it to me, that means I can fart a full sized Lamborghini out of my ass". 

Numbers in polytheism, and monotheism in all of the ancient world were a way of over conflating a legend to draw the reader in. 

But it still remains that there is no such thing as magic babies born without a second set of DNA and human beings do not have all the blood drained out of their body, suffer complete organ and brain death, only to magically survive rigor mortis.

No human has ever survived death as the myth would imply. If you were to kill someone like that in reality and not do anything to aid them medically, they DIE AND STAY DEAD. 

If surviving death like that were possible, you could decapitate your own head and magically regrow it.

Hehe. I don't want too soon, but I want to die someday. Its because I am lazy and a man has to rest at a point.

You would not be "resting" you'd simply be dead. I agree though, I don't want to live forever. Especially now having seen my mom go through all her old age health problems and slow decline. The good thing about death is that you wont feel anything afterwords. But no, I don't want to die soon either. I simply don't want to have a slow painful death.

I've decided to donate my body to science. But if I were to be cremated, which would be my second choice, I'd have an urn with the inscription "Moo-Moo, Pronounced TA-DA!, as if to smile and say I"m done."

[Brian37]

But it still remains that there is no such thing as magic babies born without a second set of DNA...

A fatherless child is possible, but there's a big problem with the New Testament's rendition: such a child is always female.

Not in primates. That old mythology back when it was written intended you to believe that there was no fucking going on. There is no story about a female stealing ejaculate from a male and secretly shoving in her vagina in the Bible. Back then that would have been the only way to fool the public into thinking you were a virgin. 

In the human species it requires TWO sets of DNA, and back then they did not have the modern C section surgery so the baby was born through the birth canal.

I don't know what you mean by "fatherless child", outside marriage, but as far as evolutionary biology in humans, it takes TWO sets of DNA. And back then the idiots who wrote that book had no clue how the human body male or female worked. They literally believed back then that girls could magically pop out a kid with no help.

Now, also keep in mind, the motif of purity was quite common in the ancient world. The mortality rate was much higher in antiquity and females were expected to reproduce at a far younger age, and girls were considered property and were bartered between families. They were treated more like cars, if you can afford a never driven car that is new and never used you'd prefer that. But also, equally important was the scientific ignorance back then of menstruation. Men found periods unclean and dirty and had no modern understanding of how the female body worked.

Even the first mythology of Buddha had his Mother being told by the divine world that she would give a gift to the world, and even his birth is depicted as avoiding the birth canal. 

Point being both Mary and Jesus are manufactured characters created by the NT writers to compete with Hebrews and the surrounding polytheism of their time. There is no such thing, based on the claims of the bible, as what the bible claims as far as the claimed birth. And even if the bible had said Mary was fucked in the standard way, a baby still would not grow up with super powers regardless.

[Alex K]

A fatherless child is possible, but there's a big problem with the New Testament's rendition: such a child is always female.

Not in primates. That old mythology back when it was written intended you to believe that there was no fucking going on. There is no story about a female stealing ejaculate from a male and secretly shoving in her vagina in the Bible. Back then that would have been the only way to fool the public into thinking you were a virgin. 

In the human species it requires TWO sets of DNA, and back then they did not have the modern C section surgery so the baby was born through the birth canal.

I don't know what you mean by "fatherless child", outside marriage, but as far as evolutionary biology in humans, it takes TWO sets of DNA. And back then the idiots who wrote that book had no clue how the human body male or female worked. They literally believed back then that girls could magically pop out a kid with no help.

Well, the mother could theoretically clone herself via parthenogenesis like other animals do.

[drfuzzy]

drfuzzy quote- If your imaginary friend exists and isn't utterly and completely impotent and incompetent, then have it show up and say "hi".  A creature that supposedly created billions of galaxies should be able to do that
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God is not a "person", rather he's a Star Wars-type "Force" that fills the uiniverse-
"Am I only a nearby God? Can you hide? I fill heaven and earth" (Jeremiah 23:23/4)

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So he needed human prophets and Jesus to speak through, to help us tap into that force-
Jesus said - "For I have not spoken on my own authority; but the Father who sent me gave me a command, what I should say and what I should speak" (John 12:49)

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Sounds as if they are not the problem.

[hide]
Well there was a Barbara who used to turn up on dates in horrible old-fashioned clothes and hideous flat shoes, so I bought her a pair of sexy high heels but she refused pointblank to wear them, so I ditched her!
Pity, I was planning to buy her a Wonder Woman outfit next (sniffle)..

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[Brian37]

Not in primates. That old mythology back when it was written intended you to believe that there was no fucking going on. There is no story about a female stealing ejaculate from a male and secretly shoving in her vagina in the Bible. Back then that would have been the only way to fool the public into thinking you were a virgin. 

In the human species it requires TWO sets of DNA, and back then they did not have the modern C section surgery so the baby was born through the birth canal.

I don't know what you mean by "fatherless child", outside marriage, but as far as evolutionary biology in humans, it takes TWO sets of DNA. And back then the idiots who wrote that book had no clue how the human body male or female worked. They literally believed back then that girls could magically pop out a kid with no help.

Well, the mother could theoretically clone herself via parthenogenesis like other animals do.

The human species DNA sequence never made that possible in our species, we are not talking about other species. Nor did they have cloning technology back then nor does the bible mention modern cloning. I am quite sure even in surrounding and prior polytheism, considering that men considered periods dirty I am sure some females would steal male ejaculate and put it in their vagina to get pregnant then lie and say they did not have penal/vaginal penetration.

Don't feed the fundies. The idea of female purity at the time of marriage was common in all of antiquity. Again, even the mythology of the first Buddha had his birth avoiding the birth canal.

[mordant]

You would not be "resting" you'd simply be dead. I agree though, I don't want to live forever. Especially now having seen my mom go through all her old age health problems and slow decline. The good thing about death is that you wont feel anything afterwords. But no, I don't want to die soon either. I simply don't want to have a slow painful death.

Supposing that you had biological immortality -- that you didn't suffer from declining health, or from disease at all? That would change the equation for you because you fear dying, not death. It's the process, not the result.

THEN the question would become, would life eventually become a hellscape for other reasons -- such as hedonic tone rendering life insufferably boring, or because of the fatigue of unresolved (and perhaps to to some extent, unresolvable) existential pain? Some people can't imagine reaching that point, or imagine eluding it. I'm not sure. I'd like the option to try, but might not want to have more experiences forever. Beyond a certain point, it's quite possible that all additional experiences would not be "new", just the same or highly derivative of previous experiences.

[Dropship]

Even during his lifetime many people wondered if he existed, or if he was just some shadowy figure foretold by ancient scriptures until they met him face to face.
Here's a little tale i've woven around a Bible incident in John chapter 4 involving a woman we'll call Leonora..

LEONORA
Leonora had had a rough life. A string of lovers had treated her bad, and now she'd ended up with another here in this remote village in old Samaria miles from anywhere, going out of her skull with boredom and feeling as if life was passing her by.
Then her latest fancy man shouted from the other room telling her to go get some water,so she trudged wearily down the road in the sweltering heat to the well.
A few travellers who she'd never seen before were sitting there in the shade of the trees looking tired, yet good-humouredly talking among themselves, and one of them smiled and asked her in a Galileean accent to draw some water for them.
She was surprised that a Jew would talk to a Samaritan , but he chatted a bit more with her about "living water" and other matters, and about her poor track record with men who used her like a doormat.
She told him how she yearned for the bright lights of Jerusalem where things happened and where it said in the ancient scriptures the Messiah would appear, though if and when that would be, nobody knew.
She said she liked to dream what he'd be like, a warrior king maybe, in bright silver armour riding a proud white horse, and that he'd explain everything to the people once and for all.
"Huh! i'll never see the Messiah stuck out here" she said as a tear rolled down her cheek, "when i die that's it,nobody'll remember me or even know i existed, and he wouldn't want to talk to a nobody like me anyway..".
The man gently brushed away her tear with his fingertips, lifted her chin, gazed straight into her eyes and softly replied with a smile:- "I'm him. He's talking to you now.."
And the woman in that tiny remote village long ago will be remembered in the Bible until the end of time..





"The woman said, "I know that Messiah" (called Christ) is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us."
Then Jesus declared, "I who speak to you am he." (John 4:26)

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..If I wrote a book today and claimed in it, "Donald Trump gave me 1 Billion dollars, and 500 people witnessed him write the check and hand it to me, that means I can fart a full sized Lamborghini out of my ass". 

Steady on,Trump graduated from the University of Pennsylvania in May 1968 with a Bachelor of Science degree in economics, so with him in charge of the economy you'll all be as rich as him in 4 years..
Don in prophecy-




Powerful friends have got his back-
Jesus said-"And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered"  (Matt 10:30)

[drfuzzy]

Even during his lifetime many people wondered if he existed, or if he was just some shadowy figure foretold by ancient scriptures until they met him face to face.
Here's a little tale i've woven around a Bible incident in John chapter 4 involving a woman we'll call Leonora..

LEONORA
Leonora had had a rough life. A string of lovers had treated her bad, and now she'd ended up with another here in this remote village in old Samaria miles from anywhere, going out of her skull with boredom and feeling as if life was passing her by.
Then her latest fancy man shouted from the other room telling her to go get some water,so she trudged wearily down the road in the sweltering heat to the well.
A few travellers who she'd never seen before were sitting there in the shade of the trees looking tired, yet good-humouredly talking among themselves, and one of them smiled and asked her in a Galileean accent to draw some water for them.
She was surprised that a Jew would talk to a Samaritan , but he chatted a bit more with her about "living water" and other matters, and about her poor track record with men who used her like a doormat.
She told him how she yearned for the bright lights of Jerusalem where things happened and where it said in the ancient scriptures the Messiah would appear, though if and when that would be, nobody knew.
She said she liked to dream what he'd be like, a warrior king maybe, in bright silver armour riding a proud white horse, and that he'd explain everything to the people once and for all.
"Huh! i'll never see the Messiah stuck out here" she said as a tear rolled down her cheek, "when i die that's it,nobody'll remember me or even know i existed, and he wouldn't want to talk to a nobody like me anyway..".
The man gently brushed away her tear with his fingertips, lifted her chin, gazed straight into her eyes and softly replied with a smile:- "I'm him. He's talking to you now.."
And the woman in that tiny remote village long ago will be remembered in the Bible until the end of time..  

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"The woman said, "I know that Messiah" (called Christ) is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us."
Then Jesus declared, "I who speak to you am he." (John 4:26)

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..If I wrote a book today and claimed in it, "Donald Trump gave me 1 Billion dollars, and 500 people witnessed him write the check and hand it to me, that means I can fart a full sized Lamborghini out of my ass".

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Steady on,Trump graduated from the University of Pennsylvania in May 1968 with a Bachelor of Science degree in economics, so with him in charge of the economy you'll all be as rich as him in 4 years..
Don in prophecy-




Powerful friends have got his back-
Jesus said-"And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered"  (Matt 10:30)

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ooh, careful now.  There are warnings against adding or subtracting anything to the scriptures in Deuteronomy 4;1-2, Proverbs 30:5-6, and Revelation 22:18-19.  Your nasty ol' The Force type War Demon Sky Daddy is gonna be pissed.  Of course, you're almost certainly a Poe-Troll who doesn't actually give a flying fuck at a rolling donut what the Bible says anywhere, you just collect silly pictures and re-write stories to suit yourself.  And, of course, spread your ridiculous shit in atheist forums.

[Dropship]

..No human has ever survived death as the myth would imply...

When Jesus journeyed to visit his ill friend Lazarus, he was told- "You're too late, he died 4 days ago and is rotting in a tomb", but he ignored them and said-
"Come on out of there mate!".. 

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..you just collect silly pictures and re-write stories to suit yourself..

Oh God please make me funny (sniffle)...

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Brian37 quote- ...I don't want to live forever...
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Me neither mate, at least not in this yukky squishy body on this same old planet.
No sweat, regard the death of the body as the final step in human evolution  when we tranform into purely spiritual life-forms..



"In the twinkling of an eye the dead shall be raised imperishable and we shall be changed" (1 Cor 15:52)
"The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable...it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body.. flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God" (1 Cor 15:42-50)

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Steady on muchacho, what are you, an oldfashioned out-of-context fundy preacherman?..
JC and God have got no beef with anybody who had the bad luck to have a cheapskate absentee dad-
Jesus said "Whoever comes to me I'll never turn away"
"A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, Is God in His holy habitation" (Psalm 68:5)
"Seek justice, Rebuke the oppressor; Defend the fatherless, Plead for the widow" (Isaiah 1:17)
"..do no violence to the stranger, the fatherless, or the widow.." (Jeremiah 22:3)
"You shall not afflict any widow or fatherless child" (Exodus 22:22)
"I will be a Father to you, and you shall be my sons and daughters says the Lord." (2 Cor 6:17/18 )

[drfuzzy]

Do you really think you're the first preechur type to show up here and splatter wholly babble verses all over this forum, Drop Shit?  I wonder if somebody has been keeping count.  It must be in the thousands by now.  Most of the old-timers aren't taking part here, their reaction is probably "eh, another nut job".  So why are you here, nutjob?  Are you really that lonely, have the christian forums all kicked you out?  If you're typing "oh god, please make me funny" on an atheist website, you're not funny, you're unbelievably pathetic.  If you want to be funny, cut out the slimeball preechur act and tell a freaking JOKE. (Yes, nearly every word you have posted has been a joke, but it's not funny.)

I supposedly answered your primary question days ago.  "Guys, guys, I keep asking you exactly why  you don't like JC, was it something he said or did that ruffles your feathers? When am I gonna get a straight answer around here?"  You ignored my response, of course.  I'll repeat this one last time.

Oh, I like some of the stuff ol' JC reportedly said, if he existed.  The taking care of your neighbor bit was cool, mostly because it called out selfishness, religious bigotry, thinking that you're "too good" to take care of lowly scum who aren't as holy as you are, all of that crap.  The hero of the story was somebody too lowly for a "righteous Jew" to speak to.  I like some of the stuff in the Buddhist writings, I like the book of the Tao, and Confucius is cool.  Mostly.


But "like" Jesus?  Jesus is dead, if he ever existed.  The concept is weird.  I like lots of fictional characters, but they have no impact on real life.  Just like Jesus.  The only problem is I don't have assholes getting in my face throwing fits that I don't LIKE Batman and quoting lines from comic books and movies as if they were important.

You like Juheebus?  Good.  That's fine.  He's dead.  Heck, I don't even argue over a best actor or actress or author, alive or dead.  Why bother?  Such things have no effect upon my life.  So take your imaginary friend and go like him all you want.  I don't want to know about it.