Prophecies

[Crossless2.0]

She sent me an email proposal of sorts, suggesting that we pull my son out of school. She has recently adopted a passion for Christ, and felt as though she could no longer tolerate the "lies" my 8 year old son was being taught in school, and would like to teach him at home, from the Bible, as an exclusive base for his education, so that he could learn the truth about things such as:

-The earth being flat
-And no older than 6-7,000 years old
-We did not come from "monkeys"
-and that "Science" is some sort of entity conspiring to hide these truths and many others...

She takes fundie nonsense to a level even most fundies shy away from, at least in polite company.

Of course, my response was no different than it would have been to any other fundie..."If you want to teach him that crazy shit, you can do it at a church like everyone else. I'm not worried about him being exposed to idiotic beliefs, the world is full of them, and this is just another great opportunity to sharpen his critical thinking tools. As for school, he's going, and that is that..."

Good for you!

To which she responded "I will pray for your soul for our son's sake. God Bless..."

I see she's using the Standard Fundie Response Playbook -- 9th Edition. When in doubt, go passive-aggressive.

This triggered a response that I was NOT prepared for...she began lecturing me on how God does not like to be mocked, and began warning me of the impending doom that is surrounding us at this very moment. I was astonished at the lack of self awareness she had while disclosing the details of her beliefs. Clearly, people who are crazy do not know that they are crazy, because only a crazy person would think that this story could be a convincing story to an unbeliever without recognizing the intellectual forfeit that it costs to make such claims as:

-A goat demon with female breasts "Apollyon" has just been freed by an asteroid that struck Portal Mountain in Antarctica, blowing a hole in the bottomless pit that God has been keeping it in. Apollyon is waiting for it's mate, the "Screechowl" and when they are joined, "Everyone is screwed". God is subduing the demon while Jesus collects his church, but the demon has been working with the pope, to create a more accepting culture for gender confused humans (hence the female breasts on the demon) and pretty soon, it is going to destroy all nonbelievers. She said that right now, it can only torment the minds that are not protected by God, and that I owe it to my Son to change my ways. She says, and I think this is the funniest part..."If after reading the details of this prophecy I cannot be convinced, then the wool is just too thick over my eyes"...HOLY SHIT!!!!

I'm impressed that someone can cram so much stupid and crazy into such a tiny space. That said, she may be right to warn you of impending doom. After all, you are in the Navy and probably somewhere in the vicinity of a fucking cargo ship, though I fail to see what that has to do with mocking her insane beliefs.

And that goat demon with breasts? Tell her from me that the evil bitch's name isn't "Apollyon". It's Miae. And her breasts -- among other things -- were magnificent. But yeah, fucking evil.

Luckily, I got her to nail down a specific deadline, and she says that "Definitely the end of November" will be the rapture.." So, I think December will be a fun month!

Perhaps a Christmas card from everyone at Atheist Forums would be in order.

[Minimalist]

How about a "We're Still Here.  Why Are You?" card?

[Huggy Bear]

-A goat demon with female breasts "Apollyon"

That's Baphomet not Apollyon.

[Edwardo Piet]

[The Reality Salesman01]

She needs to see a shrink.

Oh, she won't have that. One of the things delusional people do is protect their delusion. She's convinced that shrinks are in on the conspiracy and that the diagnosis of mental disorders is just another way that science tries to discredit the religious. Crazy people don't know they're crazy, and they're very good about setting up road blocks in their heads to prevent the flow of reason. She's very well protected...

[Whateverist]

Perhaps get a group which does interventions to get people out of a cult, maybe take on the whole church. Help them all.

[The Valkyrie]

Holy crap, she's really swallowed the koolaid, cup and all.

If she's a bible literalist, I'd tell her she's not in a position to teach your son because women aren't allowed to instruct men/males.

If she denies that, she's going against the teachings of Jebus and will be sent to hell.

[vorlon13]

Yea Baphomet !!!!!

[Minimalist]

She needs to see a shrink.

Oh, she won't have that. One of the things delusional people do is protect their delusion. She's convinced that shrinks are in on the conspiracy and that the diagnosis of mental disorders is just another way that science tries to discredit the religious. Crazy people don't know they're crazy, and they're very good about setting up road blocks in their heads to prevent the flow of reason. She's very well protected...

Involuntary committal?

[KevinM1]

Yea Baphomet !!!!!

...I’d hit it