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A Story of Fish
November 14, 2017 at 10:18 pm
(This post was last modified: November 14, 2017 at 10:18 pm by Haipule.)
When I die, I want to be cremated. Have a big party and then unceremoniously flush me down the toilet.
When my molecules reach the sea, the tiny sea creatures will eat my molecules. Then the small sea creatures will eat the tiny sea creatures. Then the small fish will eat the small creatures.
Then the big fish will eat the small fish and then you will eat the big fish! I'm sorry, did I taste fishy?
Then you unceremoniously flush me down the toilet! This happens over and over again until all my molecules are spread throughout the entire planet!
Then the rapture occurs and everyone is happy. That is, except for me.
I say to God, "Where are my arms?" God replies, "I could not find them". I, mocking God say, "what do you mean 'You could not find them!'" I further explain, "How do You expect me to masturbate with out any arms?!" God, shaking His head and wagging His finger, mocks me and says, "I do NOT 'expect you to masturbate!'" I said, "Why not!" God replies, "Well Bill is just that I umm...couldn't find THAT either".
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RE: A Story of Fish
November 14, 2017 at 10:26 pm
Good story
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
-walsh
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RE: A Story of Fish
November 14, 2017 at 10:30 pm
Weird but good.
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RE: A Story of Fish
November 14, 2017 at 10:32 pm
I approve of your approach to burial. I always wanted to be eaten by something higher on the food chain, maybe wolves since I'm a fan of dogs. But I understand we are highly toxic due to our diet and life span. So your approach is more sound.
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RE: A Story of Fish
November 14, 2017 at 11:15 pm
All I can say is that when I go, I'm taking people with me.
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: A Story of Fish
November 14, 2017 at 11:43 pm
(November 14, 2017 at 11:15 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: All I can say is that when I go, I'm taking people with me. Take me  !
I love that joke at the end of your posts. Are you an astral traveler? We could find some sic waves! I heard there's surf in hell! My joke: My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. Well...she's not my girlfriend, "YET"!
https://youtu.be/limOjuCZiCs
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RE: A Story of Fish
November 15, 2017 at 1:19 am
(November 14, 2017 at 10:32 pm)Whateverist Wrote: I approve of your approach to burial. I always wanted to be eaten by something higher on the food chain, maybe wolves since I'm a fan of dogs. But I understand we are highly toxic due to our diet and life span. So your approach is more sound.
Many years ago, I worked in systems engineering at a major corporation. A lot of "us" claimed to be the top of the food chain, until someone pointed out that, in the end, bacteria get us all. Who's the apex predator, again? :one brow raised:
I am donating my body to science (yeesh, look at that there, will ya!). They'll take what they want and cremate the rest, giving my family the cemains. Maybe I should specify putting me out under a tree as fertilizer instead. It should be a nut tree. :yes:
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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RE: A Story of Fish
November 15, 2017 at 2:26 am
(November 15, 2017 at 1:19 am)Fireball Wrote: (November 14, 2017 at 10:32 pm)Whateverist Wrote: I approve of your approach to burial. I always wanted to be eaten by something higher on the food chain, maybe wolves since I'm a fan of dogs. But I understand we are highly toxic due to our diet and life span. So your approach is more sound.
Many years ago, I worked in systems engineering at a major corporation. A lot of "us" claimed to be the top of the food chain, until someone pointed out that, in the end, bacteria get us all. Who's the apex predator, again? :one brow raised:
I am donating my body to science (yeesh, look at that there, will ya!). They'll take what they want and cremate the rest, giving my family the cemains. Maybe I should specify putting me out under a tree as fertilizer instead. It should be a nut tree. :yes: At least, as a tree, you could "branch out" from the slavery of atheism into the freedom of "who cares" what anyone useless thinks! The secret then is to always be useful. Yet, I think I'm preaching to the choir!
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RE: A Story of Fish
November 15, 2017 at 2:41 am
Just as we all breath molecules of air that Einstein breathed, I too wish to leave my legacy for all.
You see, I've let out quite a few rippers in my time and you suckers will be breathing them in for an eternity!
Just my little way of being remembered...
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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