Passive-aggressive?

[Aroura]

Naturally I've heard this term often throughout my life, but I never really grasped what it meant.  Recently I've been diving head first into psychology and I'm learning what this is and how people employ it.  It has been an accusation directed at people on this forum, and mostly I just scratched my head and shrugged.  But for reasons I'll get into in another thread (someday), I've recently become more curious.

I think everyone uses passive aggressive techniques now and then.  But some people do these things constantly and it can be very hard to identify or spot these things, because they are usually not overt, it is implicit, indirect, and for that reason much more insidious.

5 signs of a passive-aggressive person ,---for more details on these 5 things, click here.

1. The silent treatment
2. Subtle Insults
3. Sullen Behavior
4. Stubbornness
5. Inability to finish tasks

This last seems like something more directly related to work or school, and we wouldn't see it so much in purely social interractions.

In any case, it seems chronic passive-aggressive behavior is often one of many symptoms in a larger personality disorder or issue, though it can present alone.  Notably, it is co-concurrent with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which is why I got interested in it.

I think the majority of people displaying this do not suffer from some larger disorder, but are simply uncomfortable with more overt displays of aggression and so they take out build up emotional issues in this way instead.  It is often attributed to women, but in the research I've done it is just as often men displaying this behavior.

Do you know any passive-aggressive people in your life?  How do you deal with them?

[Homeless Nutter]

As a self-diagnosed hypochondriac, I now believe myself to be a passive-aggressive narcissist.

Thanks a lot.

---

---

[bennyboy]

I see passive aggression all over the place.

My wife does it when she pretends to be gracious about something she's mad about. "Oh. . . you want to go out with your friends instead of spending time with me? That's fine. . . I mean. . . I thought I probably mattered more than that, but. . . I wouldn't want you to resent me from doing what you REALLY want to do!"

I'm sorry, I know this will sound really sexist, but I feel like the women in my life have used that kind of technique pretty consistently. The men I've known are more likely just to be openly hostile. That being said, it may be that I personally tend to ignore emotional subtlety in other men, so it's perfectly possible that both genders do it equally.

[LastPoet]

My usual routine Aroura. Bull in the china shop is a technique not only used in Mafia.

[Aroura]

I see passive aggression all over the place.

My wife does it when she pretends to be gracious about something she's mad about. "Oh. . . you want to go out with your friends instead of spending time with me?  That's fine. . . I mean. . . I thought I probably mattered more than that, but. . . I wouldn't want you to resent me from doing what you REALLY want to do!"

I'm sorry, I know this will sound really sexist, but I feel like the women in my life have used that kind of technique pretty consistently.  The men I've known are more likely just to be openly hostile.  That being said, it may be that I personally tend to ignore emotional subtlety in other men, so it's perfectly possible that both genders do it equally.

It is possible that women do it more, absolutely.  Getting anything close to accurate statistics for psychological behaviors is damn near impossible.

Both of my husbands have used it against me, particularly the emotional stonewalling, silent treatment things.  I think maybe men and women just tend to use different aspects of it, but likely women use it more broadly.

I know I am guilty of it, mostly because I am utterly averse to direct confrontation.  I think this might explain why a lot of women use it, we are trained never to be directly aggressive, so may have difficulty directly expressing frustration and anger.

---

My usual routine Aroura. Bull in the china shop is a technique not only used  in Mafia.

You are the least passive aggressive person I've ever know, LP, lol.

[brewer]

Naturally I've heard this term often throughout my life, but I never really grasped what it meant.  Recently I've been diving head first into psychology and I'm learning what this is and how people employ it.  It has been an accusation directed at people on this forum, and mostly I just scratched my head and shrugged.  But for reasons I'll get into in another thread (someday), I've recently become more curious.

I think everyone uses passive aggressive techniques now and then.  But some people do these things constantly and it can be very hard to identify or spot these things, because they are usually not overt, it is implicit, indirect, and for that reason much more insidious.

5 signs of a passive-aggressive person ,---for more details on these 5 things, click here.

1. The silent treatment
2. Subtle Insults
3. Sullen Behavior
4. Stubbornness
5. Inability to finish tasks

This last seems like something more directly related to work or school, and we wouldn't see it so much in purely social interractions.

In any case, it seems chronic passive-aggressive behavior is often one of many symptoms in a larger personality disorder or issue, though it can present alone.  Notably, it is co-concurrent with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which is why I got interested in it.

I think the majority of people displaying this do not suffer from some larger disorder, but are simply uncomfortable with more overt displays of aggression and so they take out build up emotional issues in this way instead.  It is often attributed to women, but in the research I've done it is just as often men displaying this behavior.

Do you know any passive-aggressive people in your life?  How do you deal with them?

Well bless your heart dear, you left out sarcasm. 

hehehehe

[Aroura]

Naturally I've heard this term often throughout my life, but I never really grasped what it meant.  Recently I've been diving head first into psychology and I'm learning what this is and how people employ it.  It has been an accusation directed at people on this forum, and mostly I just scratched my head and shrugged.  But for reasons I'll get into in another thread (someday), I've recently become more curious.

I think everyone uses passive aggressive techniques now and then.  But some people do these things constantly and it can be very hard to identify or spot these things, because they are usually not overt, it is implicit, indirect, and for that reason much more insidious.

5 signs of a passive-aggressive person ,---for more details on these 5 things, click here.

1. The silent treatment
2. Subtle Insults
3. Sullen Behavior
4. Stubbornness
5. Inability to finish tasks

This last seems like something more directly related to work or school, and we wouldn't see it so much in purely social interractions.

In any case, it seems chronic passive-aggressive behavior is often one of many symptoms in a larger personality disorder or issue, though it can present alone.  Notably, it is co-concurrent with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which is why I got interested in it.

I think the majority of people displaying this do not suffer from some larger disorder, but are simply uncomfortable with more overt displays of aggression and so they take out build up emotional issues in this way instead.  It is often attributed to women, but in the research I've done it is just as often men displaying this behavior.

Do you know any passive-aggressive people in your life?  How do you deal with them?

Well bless your heart dear, you left out sarcasm. 

hehehehe

OMG, and I totally hit you with that a while back, didn't I!?  I'm sorry.  As I said later, I know I am guilty of this behavior myself (though I hope it isn't constant).  It is something I am now more self aware of and will try to limit.

[Homeless Nutter]

[...]I'm sorry, I know this will sound really sexist, but I feel like the women in my life have used that kind of technique pretty consistently.  The men I've known are more likely just to be openly hostile.  That being said, it may be that I personally tend to ignore emotional subtlety in other men, so it's perfectly possible that both genders do it equally.

I think that largely depends on social class and cultural norms. In an environment, where violence is - at least to some extent - socially acceptable, passive aggression is likely to be met with actual aggression. In most societies there's a certain taboo on violence against women, so they're more likely to get away with it. I think passive aggressive behavior is more common among men in groups and places, where "taking it outside" is not an option.

[brewer]

Well bless your heart dear, you left out sarcasm. 

hehehehe

OMG, and I totally hit you with that a while back, didn't I!?  I'm sorry.  As I said later, I know I am guilty of this behavior myself (though I hope it isn't constant).  It is something I am now more self aware of and will try to limit.

I don't recall that, stop the guilt train. I think we all use PA to some extent. It's the people that use it as a manipulation tool that irritate me the most.

In dealing with PA people I either call them out or turn it back on them, usually with sarcasm.

[Silver]

I'm rather passive aggressive, but I can also be verbally aggressive if I become too overwhelmed or too angry.