How to approach relationships?

[Mr.Obvious]

I'm no love-guru, but i do have Some advice.
I didn't meet my first and only and current gf and romantic partner beFore The age of 20.
Now, seven and a half years later, we are still together.
I'm not exactly shy, but never was a ladies-man. And like you, i was Looking for 'The right one'.
When we met, it was due to a misunderstanding. I was The right level of drunk to be more loose than i usually am. And i wasn't trying to impress her. It was a party, so we didn't really talk. But a mutual friend helped us get in contact and start dating. At which point i still didn't really know anything about her.just that we kind of hit it off in a pleasan evening.
And i think that's important for you. Dating isn't what you and the girl of your dreams Should aspire to do. Dating isn't The goal. It's a tool. A way to find out if someone is a good match for you or not.
Add to that two facts: one that it gets increasingly harder to find someone The longer you've stayed alone. And two, that relationships are hard work in a way. I would recommend youget out there and try out The waters.
Believe me. The fact that i hadn't had any previous relationships seriously damaged my chances with The woman i hope to spend my life with. There are traps and curtesies and sensitivities that you can't imagine when you've never had a girlfriend, that you can only learn through experience. So even if a relationship Goes sour, you can both learn from it for The next time and hope to make it better.

[OakTree500]

If this helps at all:

I met my wife at age 18. We're both 30 now, and have been together the whole time. I've only ever had one girlfriend before her, so I might not be the best person to speak on this.

Generally, I found that it's partially the light you see relationships in. IE it's not all about sex, it's about the person as well. I mean sexual compatability is awesome, and is something to keep in mind, but obviously the person themselves is as, if not more, important.

For me I found in my teens I was putting women on this high pedestal of "Oh my goodness, women are so confusing/what do they want/I'm am but a dumb man" . Once I figured out that women are just other people, and much like your male friends you either get on with them or you don't. Women (and men) aren't some mystery to be concurred but just other people whom you might be sexually attracted to, as well as being friends with. For me, I don't think I can sleep with somebody I don't really "know" (I never played the field because of that) but in dating my now wife, we were good friends from the get go, because she is pretty cool. I liked her on that basis alone, before we ever really considered going out together, and the rest is history now.

Every body is different in how they feel on this. For me, being in love more than once (I was in love with my ex at the time) showed me that you can feel that way about other people, if you're open to it. If you shut yourself off from the world thinking there is only "the one" then you won't get very far. I'm a one women kid of guy, but I know it might not last forever either. Just something to keep in mind I suppose.

Overall, try to find somebody who maybe shares either A) a common interest or B) at least a common mind-set so you can share in each others interests equally. Me and Mrs. Oaktree have different tastes in music/movies and just about everything else, but we share a common mind-set so are happy to check out what the other person likes and go to things with them, that they might not normally think they would enjoy because of it.

Don't stress out about it, just find somebody you think is pretty cool and go from there.

[Angrboda]

Following up on Kevin's observation, I'm told that every time you fall in love it's different. Not better or worse, but different. So if you are looking for an experience with a new person to be similar to your prior experiences, only better, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment. The conventional wisdom is that each love is incomparable to prior loves.

[Aegon]

The worst thing you can do, IMO, is be in a relationship just to be in one. A healthy, strong relationship is when two ndependent people decide to be together because they benefit the other. They bring out the good in one another. That is the only reason to date somebody. If you feel the need to date someone just for its own sake, then you need to work on yourself and learn to be content with being alone first.

I also think it's important to critically evaluate what you consider "love" is. A lot of people see "love" as a feeling that they get. To me, "I love you" is a commitment that transcends fleeting emotions, negative or positive. The "romantic love" that people feel in the beginning of a relationship won't last forever (according to psychology; for some, it may) You need to prepare for that eventually by separating love from emotion. That's just my opinion as a young man. I still have lots to learn.

[no one]

With a 10 foot pole and some chainmail. 

[Macoleco]

The worst thing you can do, IMO, is be in a relationship just to be in one. A healthy, strong relationship is when two ndependent people decide to be together because they benefit the other. They bring out the good in one another. That is the only reason to date somebody. If you feel the need to date someone just for its own sake, then you need to work on yourself and learn to be content with being alone first.

I also think it's important to critically evaluate what you consider "love" is. A lot of people see "love" as a feeling that they get. To me, "I love you" is a commitment that transcends fleeting emotions, negative or positive. The "romantic love" that people feel in the beginning of a relationship won't last forever (according to psychology; for some,  it may)  You need to prepare for that eventually by separating love from emotion. That's just my opinion as a young man. I still have lots to learn.

Indeed one shouldnt be in a relationship just for being in one, but you also need to search for it. Otherwise it will never happen. I am very comfortable with being alone since I have been all this time lol. 

Regarding if the emotion we call love lasts for all the relationship, I agree it probably wont. But something will last, along with a friendship.

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Following up on Kevin's observation, I'm told that every time you fall in love it's different.  Not better or worse, but different.  So if you are looking for an experience with a new person to be similar to your prior experiences, only better, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment.  The conventional wisdom is that each love is incomparable to prior loves.

Can I ask if you are a woman or man? Curiosity.

And thanks for the advice.