Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: April 25, 2024, 10:17 am

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Blade Ruiner, what not to do....
#1
Blade Ruiner, what not to do....
Next on the soap opera that is my life, "As The Dumbass Turns" <---- Spoof of the old Carol Burnette show skit "As The Stomach Turns".  

Last episode, "Brian sends riding mower back to be fixed for the SECOND TIME".

Deep voice announcer voice, dramatic music playing in background, "Brian receives call from lawn mower mechanic."

Mechanic, " I ....... I .... I don't know how to tell you this......."

Me, " Just give it to me straight doc"

Mechanic, " We fixed it, it will live, but we almost lost it."

Me, " What, what happened?"

Mechanic, "You bent the fuck out of the blades."

Me, " DAMN IT, what do you mean I cant use it like an earth drill like the ones that dig the tunnels that make the subways?"

END...... (Actual riding mowers were hurt during the usage by Brian37)

TUNE IN TOMORROW ...... Announcer voice, " Will  Brian37 avoid doing the same stupid shit? Will Timmy get the liver transplant? Will Sarah realize her boss is a fucking dick? Tune in tomorrow for the next episode of AS THE DUMBASS TURNS!"

Translation for all the silliness above. I bent the fuck out of my riding mower blades running over tree stubs.
Reply
#2
RE: Blade Ruiner, what not to do....
Get a flail mower.

Then you can run over shit with impunity.
Reply
#3
RE: Blade Ruiner, what not to do....
I'll be back in 2049 to see how this turns out.
Reply
#4
RE: Blade Ruiner, what not to do....
They gave me the old blades back. HOLY FUCKING SHIT, talk about twisted like a spaghetti noodle.

(October 31, 2018 at 10:01 am)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote: I'll be back in 2049 to see how this turns out.

Come on now, this is must see TV. I am this guy.



Reply
#5
RE: Blade Ruiner, what not to do....
He NEVAH knew what he was doing.
Reply
#6
RE: Blade Ruiner, what not to do....
(October 31, 2018 at 10:36 am)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote: He NEVAH knew what he was doing.

It didn't get the fame i thought it deserved.  l loved that show. On par with Get Smart, and just like Maxwell, he always ended up accidentally hurting his boss and having to have his female co worker save his ass.
Reply
#7
RE: Blade Ruiner, what not to do....
Because of this thread, I decided to watch an episode of Sledgehammer.

One of the jokes was when Sledgehammer was talking to a British bad guy saying "goodbye" as in "cheerio" and Sledgehammer responded, "Rice Crispy".
Reply
#8
RE: Blade Ruiner, what not to do....
He was about three paces behind reality.
Reply
#9
RE: Blade Ruiner, what not to do....
(October 31, 2018 at 12:11 pm)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote: He was about three paces behind reality.

I loved Sledge Hammer because his character made fun, and rightfully so of all the bullshit testosterone of men.
Reply
#10
RE: Blade Ruiner, what not to do....
(October 31, 2018 at 12:02 pm)Brian37 Wrote: Because of this thread, I decided to watch an episode of Sledgehammer.

One of the jokes was when Sledgehammer was talking to a British bad guy saying "goodbye" as in "cheerio" and Sledgehammer responded, "Rice Crispy".

Interviewer "An armed robbery at this convenience store waa stopped by the man standing next to me. Inspector Sledge Hammer, in your own words tell us what happened?"

Hammer: "Well miss, I was doing my shopping when two men entered the store and threatened the owner with shotguns. It was then that I drew my magnum and killed them both, and then I bought some eggs and milk and some of those little cocktail weenies..."

Interviewer: "Inspector Hammer, was what you did in the shop absolutely necessary?"

Hammer: "Oh yes. I had no groceries at all."

My father was loved tge show so I grew up watching it. Haven't watched it for years, though..."
Dying to live, living to die.
Reply





Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)