RING STING

[Maketakunai]

What's going in doesn't seem to justify what's coming out... is that right?

The solution, my friend, is simple. Use better hot sauce.

[brewer]

What's going in doesn't seem to justify what's coming out... is that right?

The solution, my friend, is simple. Use better hot sauce.

Oh come on................. Iggy asked that this be serious.

[Jackalope]

TBH I think the solution is exposure therapy. Apply pureed habanero to the affected area 3x daily until the burning stops.

[Brian37]

"Dr, Dr, it hurts when I move my arm like this."

Dr, "Then don't move your arm like that."

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

If your bum hole is burning, set fire to your left foot.  You'll soon forget about the bum issue. (source:  General Theory Of Relativity).

Boru

[ignoramus]

I think that to stop the effect you'll need to create a way that the capsaicin contaminated poop never interacts with the neurons in your anal orifice. That probably means insertion of some kind of "pooping tube" prior to evacuation. If you grease the outside of the tube it might provide an additional physical barrier in case of leaking around the initial tube/poop interface.

Please note that the tube will probably need some sort of restraining feature to keep it in place thru the event. When you're bearing down the last thing you'd want would be accidental early poop tube ejection. You'd just end up fishing, and then your fingers will burn. 

Another thought is to take a shit load (see what I did there?) of laxatives after ingestion. Probably recommend a combination of hyperosmotic and stimulant. At least that should reduce the amount of direct contact of capsaicin/neuron by decreasing evacuation time and thru capsaicin concentration dilution.  

I'm sure we're all rooting for you Iggy.

Thanks Mark, for the detailed support!
OK, I took a few laxatives, I've cut 6 inches of garden hose, stuck it up there nice and firm, now what?
I feel like a cappaccino machine! Actually it's not too bad! Who wants 2 fresh Hot Chocolates?!

The big test now is to actually eat another hot Subway before performing this procedure!

Iggy being Serious?! Do you guys even know me? (but the ring burn was very real)

[Fireball]

I think that to stop the effect you'll need to create a way that the capsaicin contaminated poop never interacts with the neurons in your anal orifice. That probably means insertion of some kind of "pooping tube" prior to evacuation. If you grease the outside of the tube it might provide an additional physical barrier in case of leaking around the initial tube/poop interface.

Please note that the tube will probably need some sort of restraining feature to keep it in place thru the event. When you're bearing down the last thing you'd want would be accidental early poop tube ejection. You'd just end up fishing, and then your fingers will burn. 

Another thought is to take a shit load (see what I did there?) of laxatives after ingestion. Probably recommend a combination of hyperosmotic and stimulant. At least that should reduce the amount of direct contact of capsaicin/neuron by decreasing evacuation time and thru capsaicin concentration dilution.  

I'm sure we're all rooting for you Iggy.

Thanks Mark, for the detailed support!
OK, I took a few laxatives, I've cut 6 inches of garden hose, stuck it up there nice and firm, now what?
I feel like a cappaccino machine! Actually it's not too bad! Who wants 2 fresh Hot Chocolates?!

The big test now is to actually eat another hot Subway before performing this procedure!

Iggy being Serious?! Do you guys even know me? (but the ring burn was very real)

"Hot Subway"!? Dafuq does Subway make that even comes close to "hot", except by temperature!? I regularly use a large squirt of Sriracha sauce to cauterize my chronically swollen hemorrhoids, but I don't see that at any Subway "restaurant" around where I live.

[ignoramus]

They've introduced "Habanero Hot Chili" to their sauce list.
I always add jalapino for taste anyway which I've never found hot.

I don't remember the Subway being hot .

But boy, was there a surprise on Monday!

[brewer]

They've introduced "Habanero Hot Chili" to their sauce list.
I always add jalapino for taste anyway which I've never found hot.

I don't remember the Subway being hot .

But boy, was there a surprise on Monday!

Probably sneaking in old Jarred giz. No wonder it hurts down there.

[ignoramus]

I don't know what that means! You're not going Vorls on me now, are you?