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Current time: September 22, 2019, 2:12 pm

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[Serious] Family Rifts
#11
RE: Family Rifts
it's a very tricky situation... but
I'm sure you'll do it right, you are a wise and thoughtful young woman with huge luggage of life. We know that we allow our families for a lot and sometimes we close our eyes to certain matters, but we also require more from loved ones precisely because we love them, that we have blood ties ... maybe now we have times that people care less about it and do not care at all, but ... the family is a family and will always be in our hearts and it doesn't matter if it's a black sheep in the family or not ...is just a family.
In my humble opinion, I would fight for my sister but on the other hand sometimes we have to choose a lesser evil ... so ...
In any case, do not do anything against yourself, against your convictions and against love ...
If you feel that you have to fight for your sister - Fight! I am with you with all my heart.
If you feel that you have enough - let go! I will support you and I'm sure that your husband all the more!
..but maybe you just need a break to rest and take a distance to this matter, to look with a different eye on everything, to find new arguments ... whatever - so take a break --- I'm with you !!!
Good luck ... Cuddle
with love Heart
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#12
RE: Family Rifts
I'm with @TaraJo in that I do better "talking" behind a screen where I can lay it all out and reread it and make sure I say everything. In real life the tears come instantly from -any- conflict. I seriously get so mad at myself for crying when I'm mad. It's a broken record. Get mad, cry, get mad about crying, cry more cause I can't control my own emotions... The written word is so much easier and that's why I reached out to y'all. I really appreciate the input. Y'all are right I need to just stop getting involved. I sat by and watched her berate my mom for years growing up without saying anything and I can do it again. If mom wants to let her do the it's her deal.

This girls weekend between Jesse, my mom, and myself was actually REALLY fun. No one fought, no one yelled or cried, we just had fun for two whole days. This shows that Caitlin is the problem but I don't know if they thought about that and I'm not about to say anything. Caitlin's birthday is next week and I got a group message from Jesse saying she is so sorry but she can't come down for it. She offered to have Caitlin come up and they would celebrate. I think I'm just going to let it pass quietly on my side. I don't have another obligation to see Caitlin until Thanksgiving and maybe it will come across that we don't need to buddy up anymore by then.

It's just hard since Caitlin and I are both maid of honor for Jesse so there will be wedding planning and I can't just tell Jesse to not do group messages to us. But maybe I can just speak directly to Jesse as if Caitlin isn't getting them too and ignore her comments.
“What screws us up the most in life is the picture in our head of what it's supposed to be.”

Also if your signature makes my scrolling mess up "you're tacky and I hate you."
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#13
RE: Family Rifts
Honest observation, your mom treated you pretty shittily by my standards. I don't see why you have to defend her from your sister, particularly if your mother doesn't appreciate it. It sounds to me like you put yourself out there for people who neither deserve it nor appreciate it. It doesn't benefit them because they don't care, and it doesn't benefit you because it causes you pain. I wouldn't say cut them out entirely, because I agree that is difficult. I would say to cut them out emotionally. Leave them out of your inner circle. Keep things casual with them. I don't believe they have to benefit you for you to have a good relationship with them. I just don't think there's any point if every person involved is miserable from the contact.
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