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If Jesus had ascended into Heaven...
#1
If Jesus had ascended into Heaven...
...he would have gone into orbit.  Not sure where this quote comes from; I once heard that it originated with John Shelby Spong.

First off, this is not correct.  Simply ascending straight up does not impart angular momentum, even at the height of a geocentric orbit.  As such, if Jesus did ascend even to height of 35,000 kilometers, gravity would have still pulled him down to the earth, if he decided to part with his magic powers.  But, he would not be in orbit about the Earth unless he gave himself orbital angular momentum.  Now, if he ascended far enough away from the Earth, then he would be in orbit about the Sun, provided that he would reach a Lagrangian point that is stable, L4 or L5.  But, on the other hand, if Jesus did have some sort of invisible magical ladder, then such would have provided him with angular momentum as he ascended the ladder into Heaven, but as the ladder was not at the equator, it would not have been sufficient to provide enough angular momentum to keep Jesus in a geostationary orbit, and so, he would need to have climbed the ladder above and beyond that of a geostationary orbit, unless some more miracle magic was involved.  Of course, if he moved far enough away from the Earth, then he would be in orbit about the Sun, Galaxy, Local Group, etc.
And without delay Peter went quickly out of the synagogue (assembly) and went unto the house of Marcellus, where Simon lodged: and much people followed him...And Peter turned unto the people that followed him and said: Ye shall now see a great and marvellous wonder. And Peter seeing a great dog bound with a strong chain, went to him and loosed him, and when he was loosed the dog received a man's voice and said unto Peter: What dost thou bid me to do, thou servant of the unspeakable and living God? Peter said unto him: Go in and say unto Simon in the midst of his company: Peter saith unto thee, Come forth abroad, for thy sake am I come to Rome, thou wicked one and deceiver of simple souls. And immediately the dog ran and entered in, and rushed into the midst of them that were with Simon, and lifted up his forefeet and in a loud voice said: Thou Simon, Peter the servant of Christ who standeth at the door saith unto thee: Come forth abroad, for thy sake am I come to Rome, thou most wicked one and deceiver of simple souls. And when Simon heard it, and beheld the incredible sight, he lost the words wherewith he was deceiving them that stood by, and all of them were amazed. (The Acts of Peter, 9)
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#2
RE: If Jesus had ascended into Heaven...
Clearly he faded into heaven. Wink
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#3
RE: If Jesus had ascended into Heaven...
(May 12, 2019 at 6:57 am)Fierce Wrote: Clearly he faded into heaven. Wink

Kind of like Katrina and the Waves.
And without delay Peter went quickly out of the synagogue (assembly) and went unto the house of Marcellus, where Simon lodged: and much people followed him...And Peter turned unto the people that followed him and said: Ye shall now see a great and marvellous wonder. And Peter seeing a great dog bound with a strong chain, went to him and loosed him, and when he was loosed the dog received a man's voice and said unto Peter: What dost thou bid me to do, thou servant of the unspeakable and living God? Peter said unto him: Go in and say unto Simon in the midst of his company: Peter saith unto thee, Come forth abroad, for thy sake am I come to Rome, thou wicked one and deceiver of simple souls. And immediately the dog ran and entered in, and rushed into the midst of them that were with Simon, and lifted up his forefeet and in a loud voice said: Thou Simon, Peter the servant of Christ who standeth at the door saith unto thee: Come forth abroad, for thy sake am I come to Rome, thou most wicked one and deceiver of simple souls. And when Simon heard it, and beheld the incredible sight, he lost the words wherewith he was deceiving them that stood by, and all of them were amazed. (The Acts of Peter, 9)
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#4
RE: If Jesus had ascended into Heaven...
(May 12, 2019 at 7:00 am)Jehanne Wrote:
(May 12, 2019 at 6:57 am)Fierce Wrote: Clearly he faded into heaven. Wink

Kind of like Katrina and the Waves.

That he walked on sunshine is a viable option as well.
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#5
RE: If Jesus had ascended into Heaven...
(May 12, 2019 at 7:02 am)Fierce Wrote:
(May 12, 2019 at 7:00 am)Jehanne Wrote: Kind of like Katrina and the Waves.

That he walked on sunshine is a viable option as well.


Quote:Now every time I go for the mailbox, gotta hold myself down
'Cause I just can't wait 'til you write me you're coming around

In this respect, Society has gotten at least a little worse, IMO.
And without delay Peter went quickly out of the synagogue (assembly) and went unto the house of Marcellus, where Simon lodged: and much people followed him...And Peter turned unto the people that followed him and said: Ye shall now see a great and marvellous wonder. And Peter seeing a great dog bound with a strong chain, went to him and loosed him, and when he was loosed the dog received a man's voice and said unto Peter: What dost thou bid me to do, thou servant of the unspeakable and living God? Peter said unto him: Go in and say unto Simon in the midst of his company: Peter saith unto thee, Come forth abroad, for thy sake am I come to Rome, thou wicked one and deceiver of simple souls. And immediately the dog ran and entered in, and rushed into the midst of them that were with Simon, and lifted up his forefeet and in a loud voice said: Thou Simon, Peter the servant of Christ who standeth at the door saith unto thee: Come forth abroad, for thy sake am I come to Rome, thou most wicked one and deceiver of simple souls. And when Simon heard it, and beheld the incredible sight, he lost the words wherewith he was deceiving them that stood by, and all of them were amazed. (The Acts of Peter, 9)
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#6
RE: If Jesus had ascended into Heaven...
(May 12, 2019 at 6:50 am)Jehanne Wrote: ...he would have gone into orbit.  Not sure where this quote comes from; I once heard that it originated with John Shelby Spong.

First off, this is not correct.  Simply ascending straight up does not impart angular momentum, even at the height of a geocentric orbit.  As such, if Jesus did ascend even to height of 35,000 kilometers, gravity would have still pulled him down to the earth, if he decided to part with his magic powers.  But, he would not be in orbit about the Earth unless he gave himself orbital angular momentum.  Now, if he ascended far enough away from the Earth, then he would be in orbit about the Sun, provided that he would reach a Lagrangian point that is stable, L4 or L5.  But, on the other hand, if Jesus did have some sort of invisible magical ladder, then such would have provided him with angular momentum as he ascended the ladder into Heaven, but as the ladder was not at the equator, it would not have been sufficient to provide enough angular momentum to keep Jesus in a geostationary orbit, and so, he would need to have climbed the ladder above and beyond that of a geostationary orbit, unless some more miracle magic was involved.  Of course, if he moved far enough away from the Earth, then he would be in orbit about the Sun, Galaxy, Local Group, etc.

This also gives rise to the question, if he ascended into heaven, how high is heaven, 1 mile, 100, 1000 ???
The meek shall inherit the Earth, the rest of us will fly to the stars.

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups

Arguing with an engineer is like wrestling with a pig in mud ..... after a while you realise that the pig likes it!

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#7
RE: If Jesus had ascended into Heaven...
Heaven is at the end of Highway 69.
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#8
RE: If Jesus had ascended into Heaven...
I'm suggesting he hitchhiked a lift on the back of Mo's horse Dunno
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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#9
RE: If Jesus had ascended into Heaven...
Up was a troubling concept for those people. Assuming heaven is above, do you get to hell by going up from New Zealand? They knew how to forge iron, write, and make wheels. Not much else.
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!






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#10
RE: If Jesus had ascended into Heaven...
(May 12, 2019 at 7:34 pm)chimp3 Wrote: Up was a troubling concept for those people. Assuming heaven is above, do you get to hell by going up from New Zealand? They knew how to forge iron, write, and make wheels. Not much else.

Are you implying the Earth isn't flat?
Dying to live, living to die.
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