What the f laws?

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

In Ireland, if you let your pig grunt where a sick person can hear it, you can be fined.  If the sick person dies, your fine is doubled.

Boru

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Prankish Tarzans, be warned: In University City, Missouri, it is illegal to “swing upon” another person’s motor vehicle and honk their horn for them.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

If you want to run a public house that serves food, you must own a cauldron large enough to boil a pig and a cow at the same time.  If you do not have such a cauldron, you may only serve drink.

Boru

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Anyone who’s driven through Montana has inevitably wondered, “how far could I throw a Frisbee over the plains?” Those who seek answers, avoid Helena; it is illegal to play “folf” (that’s “Frisbee golf”) anywhere not deemed a sanctioned “folf course.” Curiosity could cost you $500 or six months jail time.

[Rev. Rye]

You can add your "Why would this need to be said? Laws that make you scratch your head." My friend John ran across  this one. 

https://law.justia.com/codes/new-jersey/...5b4r02qlqk

Which says it is a crime to commit murder wearing bullet proof body armor. IT'S FUCKING ILLEGAL EVEN WITHOUT IT!

Golly gee Wally, I guess wearing the body armor makes the person you murder more dead in this case. 

Add your absurd laws to this thread.

Looking at it, it looks like this is just one of those laws that exists to increase the penalties on pre-existing Crimes, like hate crime laws.

There’s a  bunch of strange laws on the books in Illinois or Chicago, and here’s  legitimately shocked me. I once read that it was illegal to speak English in Illinois. Apparently, it’s a bit more complicated than that in context. This law was passed in 1923, and was apparently partly made out of a desire to distance America from Britain and partly out of spite for all the shit Britain was pulling in Ireland (and also Palestine to a lesser extent.) It was the first state language law ever passed, and it still holds sway to this day (except that “American” was replaced with “English” in 1969.)

[brewer]

I'm not sure if this is still on the books but in my city you could be ticketed/fined if you did not flush a public toilet after use. (this was way before autoflush)

[Rev. Rye]

Weird laws on the books in Illinois, and Cook County in particular:

Statewide:

•  If you don't have any money on you, you can be charged under vagrancy laws (admittedly, not an uncommon state of affairs, especially during the post-slavery era)
  

Chicago:

• Protesting naked is legal only if the protester in question is under 17 years old.
  
• It is illegal to fish while riding on a giraffe's neck.
  
• Eating at a restaurant while it's on fire is illegal. 
  
• Making your dog drunk is illegal (apparently, the laws in question cite specific liquors that are prohibited, like vodka or whiskey)
  
• Anyone who wants to do contract work for the city must disclose whether or not they dealt in the slave trade before 1865.
  

Other Cook County towns:

• Cicero: Humming in public on a Sunday is
  
• Des Plaines: Chaining wheelbarrows to a tree is illegal.
  
• Evanston: Bowling of any kind is prohibited.
  
• Kenilworth: Any rooster that wants to crow must do so 300 feet from any residence. The penalty for this law is Sunday BBQ.
  
• Morton Grove: owning a handgun is illegal, but owning anything larger is A-OK.
  
• Park Ridge: Parking your truck outside is illegal.
  

Honorable mention: In the town of Moline, it's illegal to ice skate on the riverside pond... in the months of June and August. And for those of you who aren't familiar with the climate of Illinois, no, as far as the weather records can tell, going back from 1871, it has never been cold enough in Moline (in the months of June and August, that is) that bodies of water can freeze over hard enough to skate on. The chilliest June days on record have all been at 39 Fahrenheit (all 5 of them!), and August has only hit 40 Fahrenheit three times.