Amusing....Atheist Reads the Ten Commandments

[Minimalist]

Sure to make fundie heads explode.

[TheDarkestOfAngels]

Commandment Number One: Shut the hell up.
Commandment Number Two: I can't do anything about the Sun.
Commandment Number Three: There are no Jolly Ranchers. They're all gone.
Commandment Number Four: When we pass by a billboard, don't read it out loud.

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

Yup.

Christians tend to get their panties in a bunch and a little defensive if you point out "Well, actually,no, there are not ten commandments.There are six hundred and thirteen. (do you honestly think Moses would have been gone for over a month to collect only ten?)"

I shit you not. I'm not making this up . Mosaic law is called "The Mitzvot" collectively.


The person or persons called Saul of Tarsus pruned them back a bit,ignoring Jesus' admonition in Matthew to keep The Law in its entirety. At this point apologists usually come slithering in, cherry picking the NT or making accusations of taking things out of context, as is their wont when confronted with unpleasant evidence.

Christianity was an exclusively Jewish sect for at least a about a human generation: Jesus died around 23-27ce.* Saul wrote the Epistles before the gospels.The earliest from about 51ce,over 20 years after the death of Jesus.

By chopping out the hard bits,,especially virtually all of the ritual requirements, such as the bris and dietary law,Saul opened the the sect to gentiles. In the early days, women and slaves were disproportionately represented.Makes sense; those people were the most powerless in their society. Being promised eternal paradise has always been especially attractive to people whose lives were nasty,brutal and short.


*supposedly born between 4-7bce ,beginning his ministry 30 and being executed at 33.
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The word mitzvot is plural; singular is mitzvah. The 613 Mitzvot (Hebrew: תרי"ג מצוות‎: Taryag Mitzvot, "613 commandments"; Biblical Hebrew: Miṣwoth) are statements and principles of law, ethics, and spiritual practice contained in the Torah or Five Books of Moses. These principles of Biblical law are sometimes called connections or commandments (mitzvot) and referred to collectively as the "Law of Moses" (Torat Moshe, תורת משה), "Mosaic Law", or simply "the Law" (though these terms are ambiguous and also applied to the Torah itself).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/613_Mitzvot

[Minimalist]

.There are six hundred and thirteen. (do you honestly think Moses would have been gone for over a month to collect only ten?)"

Xtians love to tell Jews how to be Jews.