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How to be miserable?
July 16, 2020 at 5:24 pm
(This post was last modified: July 16, 2020 at 5:25 pm by Porcupine.)
As this is the humor section I thought it might be fun(ny) to ask for some advice on how to be miserable, depressed, anxious, forlorn, bored-as-fuck, broken-hearted, dejected, rejected, hopeless, and how in general to fuck your life up.
This isn't just fun(ny) to get answers to ... it's useful! Because then if one wants to be UNmiserable one just has to do the total opposite to the following advice given!
We can just suggest one idea per post so as to keep the thread moving and silly and fun(ny).
We can treat it sort of as a game and call each post Step One, Step Two, Step Three, etc, etc, etc.
Step one: Spend your entire bank balance on aftershave.
"Zen … does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes." - Alan Watts
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RE: How to be miserable?
July 16, 2020 at 6:03 pm
practice sustained boredom
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RE: How to be miserable?
July 16, 2020 at 6:22 pm
Get out of bed.
It's downhill from there.
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RE: How to be miserable?
July 16, 2020 at 7:11 pm
It's downhill bed or no bed these days.
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RE: How to be miserable?
July 16, 2020 at 7:28 pm
I just look in the mirror.
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RE: How to be miserable?
July 16, 2020 at 8:40 pm
Be with the same person for 35 years
(I'm safe, she's not looking)
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: How to be miserable?
July 16, 2020 at 9:31 pm
^After 35 years, romantic means taking the bins out Thursday night.
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: How to be miserable?
July 16, 2020 at 9:43 pm
(This post was last modified: July 16, 2020 at 9:46 pm by Porcupine.)
Step eight: Piss all over your apartment floor. Do this for months. Keep doing it for even longer. Do it for years. Decades even. Do it for however long it takes for the floorboards to rot and your floor collapses onto that fucking irritating downstair neighbor below you's head. Then immediately accuse them of doing it to you and attempt to sue them. Insist that they live above and that they did this to you. Despite all abundantly obvious evidence to the contrary. Lie to the cops. Dig your grave and piss in it, look up at the sky, shake your fist and shout "Fuck you, God! I am ready! I AM READY!".
Either that ... or just buy a hat that really doesn't suit you and wear it daily both indoors and outdoors.
(Disclaimer: I don't condone such behavior and this is clearly a joke. After all, who the fuck wears a hat indoors?!).
"Zen … does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes." - Alan Watts
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RE: How to be miserable?
July 16, 2020 at 9:43 pm
(July 16, 2020 at 9:31 pm)ignoramus Wrote: ^After 35 years, romantic means taking the bins out Thursday night.
It's Sunday, you asshole!
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
