Atheistic Xmas carol reworkings

[Duty]

Tomorrow I'ma try and "rework" Once in Royal David City - if I can...the melody is so profoundly beautiful I.....might struggle...to rip into it with jovial sarcasm....naaaaaaaaa! RIP on!

[Duty]

Once in Royal David's City


Once in Royal David’s city,
Stood a boring cattle shed.
Where a mother laid her baby,
Normal braincells in his head.
Mary was that mother mild,
Jesus Christ that simple child.


He would grow up to be seven,
And then eight and nine and ten.
Standard in his ways vanilla,
Dull, but later round the bend.
Strange ideas, he had when grown,
Messiah complex of his own.


And our eyes at last shall see him,
For the adult nut he was.
Crazy that he claimed to be god,
Fantasy like Mighty Oz.
Keep his words away from youths,
Lest they be estranged from truths.


Not in that poor lowly stable,
Did a miracle occur.
Just like every other childbirth,
Agonising pain for her.
Later Mary surely sad,
Jesus fated to die mad.