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Current time: March 28, 2024, 7:17 pm

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Groomed at 17
#1
Groomed at 17
I just wanted the reaction of people from different cultures on this issue.

I came across this video of a girl saying she was groomed at 17 by a 23 year old.

I know in some states of America and some counties this is technically grooming, but is it really an issue?

There was no real other abuse mentioned from what I heard in the video, just mild arguments between the two before they broke up.

I don't know if it's because I'm English but I was confused by this video and actually thought it might be a joke at first.

In England we leave school at 16, that's also our age of consent. And it's normal for our 17 year olds to be going out drinking and going to night clubs.

I myself lost my virginity at 18 to a girl in her early 20s and later was seeing someone in a romantic way when I was 19 and she was 27.

It's been a long while since I was as young as 17 or 23 but I don't remember that age gap being such a big deal, at least where I live.


Are you ready for the fire? We are firemen. WE ARE FIREMEN! The heat doesn’t bother us. We live in the heat. We train in the heat. It tells us that we’re ready, we’re at home, we’re where we’re supposed to be. Flames don’t intimidate us. What do we do? We control the flame. We control them. We move the flames where we want to. And then we extinguish them.

Impersonation is treason.





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#2
RE: Groomed at 17
I'm not sure what sort of grooming the video was talking about. There is grooming for a sexual relationship and there is grooming for more nefarious reasons, such as human trafficking and certain cults who want to take child brides as young as 10 - for instance.

In the US most kids graduate high school somewhere near the age of 18. The age of consent varies by state with it being mostly somewhere around 16 ,17 ,18. But there are also some additions to those laws where the number of years between a legal adult (18 or older) and a younger teen can be. We don't have a one-size-fits-all rule with that.

It's not legal to drink till a person is 21. So those who are younger and in clubs either have an in or have a fake ID.

It's a thing here with women who are with younger men being referred to as cougars even when legal age isn't an issue. I've heard all the jokes and still do since I am 7-1/2 years older than my husband. Men who are older are often called cradle robbers.
  
“If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.” — Confucius
                                      
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#3
RE: Groomed at 17
Wasn' t there an older guy ( 60s) at TTA who came out and said he was doing this with a minor??

Lost a whole buncha friends in a hurry....
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#4
RE: Groomed at 17
Age of consent, which is in Wikipedia. In some states, age 17 would be regarded as having sex as an adult.
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#5
RE: Groomed at 17
Am I lost? What video? What type of grooming?

I can't relay comment until I view the vid.
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.
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#6
RE: Groomed at 17
I think intent has to be considered to determine if there’s been actual grooming (unless he was checking her for parasites). The man may have been simply trying to talk her out of her knickers and she misread him.

Alternately, if he was extolling the virtues of marrying an Arab sheik, she may have a point.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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#7
RE: Groomed at 17
The video is from a youtuber called Nikki Land

I found out about her because I was searching for tattoo tour videos otherwise I wouldn't know who she was.

I think if I understand correctly she became famous via YouTube because she was seeing the 23 year old who she is saying groomed her, he was already relatively youtube famous but i hadn't heard of either of them personally.

The video is one of her more recent videos and is easy to find.

The grooming in this case is just purely for a sexual relationship.

I'm not really arguing that it isn't grooming, it probably technically is.

It's just from my perspective, maybe because I'm from the UK, or because of something else, I don't see the age gap of 17 to 23 being such a big deal.

In the UK we had the cases of pakistani men grooming young girls, but they were like 13, 14 or 15 and it seems most weren't just pestered for sex, it was gangs of men getting them in a house, stealing their phone, and not letting them go and so on.
Or the cases on how to catch a predator where the girls and boys are like 12, 14 or 15.

When I hear grooming I think of cases like this and others, whereas this woman is talking about being groomed at 17 and how this guy used to interrupt her during the youtube videos they made together and didn't listen to her ideas. And the comments are commending her on being brave and getting through this.

Although I want to add the video is so long I did skim through it so maybe I missed the really traumatic parts, but all I could hear is evidence of a pretty shit relationship but nothing that would require therapy.


Are you ready for the fire? We are firemen. WE ARE FIREMEN! The heat doesn’t bother us. We live in the heat. We train in the heat. It tells us that we’re ready, we’re at home, we’re where we’re supposed to be. Flames don’t intimidate us. What do we do? We control the flame. We control them. We move the flames where we want to. And then we extinguish them.

Impersonation is treason.





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#8
RE: Groomed at 17
Predatory behavior can happen to people of all ages, if they are in a vulnerable situation. Assuming that everyone under 18 is vulnerable and needs protection against someone a few years older is not reality, IMO.
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#9
RE: Groomed at 17
So, I haven't watched the full video, but here are some thoughts from what I've been able to glean about the situation:
  • In America, several states have different ages of consent, ranging from 16 to 18 (this is not common knowledge; I'm not sure if this is because such legally grey relationships are really creepy, due to California having such a monopoly on America's media that they don't bother mentioning that other places have different laws, or some combination of the two). While I don't know where Nikki Land and Edward Centeno lived during the controversy, I do know that Nikki is apparently based out of Anaheim, California (thanks to Wikitubia). California is one of those states where the age of consent is 18, so if they fucked while she was 17, it would be illegal.
  • If he waited until she was 18 before they fucked, whatever grooming he did to her when she was 17 would technically not be considered illegal. Morally reprehensible, most likely, but not illegal. I know this because of Onision, another YouTuber who became notorious for grooming several female fans (plus one who eventually transitioned to male and married him), and, despite allegedly doing some legitimately fucked up shit (up to and including wanting to chain one of them up in his basement) appears to have made a point of  keeping to the letter of the law, which, among many other things, led to a movement to make him legally accountable fizzle out.
  • I know that there's a general rule of thumb called the "Half your age plus 7 rule." If the younger partner in a relationship is half the older partner's age plus seven years, the relationship is generally considered socially acceptable. Given that Centeno was 23 years old, this would make the lowest acceptable age 18 1/2. Given that Land was 17, I suspect that even if they were in a state where such a relationship was legal and such was generally known as such, this would still be seen as too big an age gap for someone so young.
  • Given that this relationship lasted for years and that, according to one of her Instagram videos, she has been diagnosed with PTSD by a therapist, I strongly suspect that there's a lot more to what Edward Centeno did to her than just convincing a 17-year-old to fuck him.
  • Something worth noting, I've heard some people argue that even 18 is too young to be a good age of consent. I'm not going to pretend to know how popular this point of view is or if Land does or does not hold this view.
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.

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I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
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#10
RE: Groomed at 17
(May 9, 2022 at 3:57 pm)paulpablo Wrote: The video is from a youtuber called Nikki Land

I found out about her because I was searching for tattoo tour videos otherwise I wouldn't know who she was.

I think if I understand correctly she became famous via YouTube because she was seeing the 23 year old who she is saying groomed her, he was already relatively youtube famous but i hadn't heard of either of them personally.

The video is one of her more recent videos and is easy to find.

The grooming in this case is just purely for a sexual relationship.

I'm not really arguing that it isn't grooming, it probably technically is.

It's just from my perspective, maybe because I'm from the UK, or because of something else, I don't see the age gap of 17 to 23 being such a big deal.

In the UK we had the cases of pakistani men grooming young girls, but they were like 13, 14 or 15 and it seems most weren't just pestered for sex, it was gangs of men getting them in a house, stealing their phone, and not letting them go and so on.
Or the cases on how to catch a predator where the girls and boys are like 12, 14 or 15.

When I hear grooming I think of cases like this and others, whereas this woman is talking about being groomed  at 17 and how this guy used to interrupt her during the youtube videos they made together and didn't listen to her ideas. And the comments are commending her on being brave and getting through this.

Although I want to add the video is so long I did skim through it so maybe I missed the really traumatic parts, but all I could hear is evidence of a pretty shit relationship but nothing that would require therapy.

I took time to watch the entire video. What a very powerful statement of her own personal history, and I believe her testimony. She went through some shit with this guy. He is obsessed with her. What a damn jerk! The important thing is she got out of that abusive relationship after 5 years, and warns other young women who may be watching this video to get out of abusive relationships and seek help. I think she is providing a sort of public service through this video. If I had a daughter, I would make sure she watched this video.
"The price of freedom is eternal vigilance."--Thomas Jefferson
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