Sexual Fluidity

[FrustratedFool]

I'm sorry you currently hate people.  

Would you agree that's a somewhat irrational response to not having much dating success with girls, though?

Also, what was it that hindered your dating?

My entire sense of self was predicated on being successful with females, and when that didn't work out, I pretty much became a different person, and not for the better. It can't be helped.

I can understand the effect of the loss of a sense of self, but I think it possible (if you want) to re-construct a new alternative self identity which doesn't hate and use people. I think k that would likely be in your best interests as being someone who hates and uses others is likely to make your life worse than it otherwise could have been.

What caused your failure with girls, and is that still an issue now?

[Ahriman]

My entire sense of self was predicated on being successful with females, and when that didn't work out, I pretty much became a different person, and not for the better. It can't be helped.

I can understand the effect of the loss of a sense of self, but I think it possible (if you want) to re-construct a new alternative self identity which doesn't hate and use people.  I think k that would likely be in your best interests as being someone who hates and uses others is likely to make your life worse than it otherwise could have been.

What caused your failure with girls, and is that still an issue now?

I used to love females. I respected them. But I had major insecurities based on thinking I wasn't funny or talented enough, my underwhelming dick size, etc. Nowadays I couldn't care less about any of that because I don't respect women and don't care what they think. But that's proven to be just another kind of stumbling block. Still, I wish I had skipped straight to the lack of respect for women and general hatred for humanity and not bothered with the "maybe life isn't so bad" phase.

[FrustratedFool]

So you had various insecurities and this led you to get rejected, and this led you to start disrespecting women, and that in turn led you to hate all humans.

There seems a rational disconnect between having insecurities and losing respect for women. How did you rationalise your insecurities being the fault of women or making women unworthy of respect?

[Ahriman]

So you had various insecurities and this led you to get rejected, and this led you to start disrespecting women, and that in turn led you to hate all humans.

There seems a rational disconnect between having insecurities and losing respect for women.  How did you rationalise your insecurities being the fault of women or making women unworthy of respect?

I always thought females were talking badly about me behind my back, or making fun of me. Real or imagined, that disrespect drove me up a wall. That lack of control over what other people did when I wasn't around, really got on my nerves. I wanted to know what people were thinking and feeling. I pretty much wanted to live their lives for them. This made me feel ashamed of myself, like I would never be good enough on my own, but could possibly be good enough if I were someone else.

[FrustratedFool]

So you were having paranoid thoughts from your insecurities.

It seems irrational to lose respect for a whole group of people for the actions of a few, let alone if these actions were only imaginary.

Have you spoke to any professionals about this sort of stuff? It strikes me that you are suffering because of mental health issues, and it would be good to have these resolved.

[Ahriman]

So you were having paranoid thoughts from your insecurities.  

It seems irrational to lose respect for a whole group of people for the actions of a few, let alone if these actions were only imaginary.

Have you spoke to any professionals about this sort of stuff?  It strikes me that you are suffering because of mental health issues, and it would be good to have these resolved.

My delusions are as good as real to me. It's always been a problem.

[paulpablo]

Cool.  At what age did your sexuality change?

20 years old, I would say. I had been smoking weed and started craving males.

Religious people who are anti weed will be dying to get hold of this story.

[paulpablo]

I've been pretty fluid in the type of women I would go for and I've been experimental with what I do but I've never felt attraction to a man in the slightest.

I have a vague idea of what an attractive man looks like but it's more a feeling of I wish I looked like that man so I can get that woman, rather than me wanting to get that man.

But then again when I tell women what I think the ideal sexually attractive man looks like they laugh at me because I have a very 80s way of looking at it. Something like young Stalone in rocky or rambo.

[FrustratedFool]

So you were having paranoid thoughts from your insecurities.  

It seems irrational to lose respect for a whole group of people for the actions of a few, let alone if these actions were only imaginary.

Have you spoke to any professionals about this sort of stuff?  It strikes me that you are suffering because of mental health issues, and it would be good to have these resolved.

My delusions are as good as real to me. It's always been a problem.

Yes, that makes sense. Do you have professional help to deal with your delusional paranoia? You ack iwledge it's a problem for you, and you seem to accept your thoughts are irrational. I believe your life would be much better if you didn't have these delusions.

[Ahriman]

My delusions are as good as real to me. It's always been a problem.

Yes, that makes sense.  Do you have professional help to deal with your delusional paranoia?  You ack iwledge it's a problem for you, and you seem to accept your thoughts are irrational.  I believe your life would be much better if you didn't have these delusions.

Well yeah, it would be better. But I have no reason to believe that will ever happen.