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Retraumatized
August 19, 2011 at 3:44 pm
Well, I had a relapse and was roped into going to Xurch because a friend needed a ride.
I got involved again and the insanity was right where I left it!
First, they began to circle, then they began to ask questions, then they began to denounce me.
When I gave in and just acted like them, then they decided I was not good enough. I swore too much. I was not a virgin enough. I was to opinionated. I was a danger to other xers.
Then I tried again to really believe like them!! I was scared. THEN they really got me. Then they told me to name it and claim it. Then they told me to be afraid of g-d, afraid of words, afraid of everything.
I am weak and I fell. I relapsed. And I spent days without sleep, tormented, in hell even though I was still here!
To be fair, these were fundies. I know some xers who could care less, like Episcopaleans who could care less if they even believe in a god. That is all optional. HA!
What kind of power is in that twisted sh*t?????
Better now. Have not talked to them for a long time. The stain in lifting, although I live with xers who gather and worship and drive me NUTS.
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RE: Retraumatized
August 19, 2011 at 4:04 pm
Next time tell your 'friend' to walk.
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RE: Retraumatized
August 19, 2011 at 5:08 pm
I'm going to guess that you have a strong desire to 'fit in' and to be a part of a community. That's the number one power church has. It can play on your insecurities and loneliness and suck you in. In many ways, every church is a mini-cult.
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RE: Retraumatized
August 19, 2011 at 9:56 pm
(This post was last modified: August 19, 2011 at 9:56 pm by The Grand Nudger.)
They've had thousands of years to refine their methods. It's fascinating in a sick and morbid way. I suppose it's good that they tried to throw the scientific method under the bus, imagine where we would be if they kept accurate records, made attempts to reproduce effects, and designed their programs with this empirical data in hand (like the modern mega-church does).
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: Retraumatized
August 23, 2011 at 12:45 pm
(August 19, 2011 at 4:04 pm)Minimalist Wrote: Next time tell your 'friend' to walk.
Also, get new friends.
"How is it that a lame man does not annoy us while a lame mind does? Because a lame man recognizes that we are walking straight, while a lame mind says that it is we who are limping." - Pascal
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RE: Retraumatized
August 24, 2011 at 3:04 pm
What the? Where did you go? What church was this? I feel traumatized just reading this post. I know "sorry" isn't much, but it's all I can offer you, I'm so sorry you were attacked by the people of this church. Were they legalistic? Legalism...is terrible, it's a curse.
You can be as opinionated as you want to be with me. I'm a Christian and I love answering questions people have about the Lord. I do my best to answer them in the most loving way possible and to treat people how I'd like to be treated. I'm sad to hear this church made you feel like a bad person, and I'm also sorry to hear that you felt you had to "become like them" in order to fit in.
Jesus was not a people pleaser, therefore anyone who tells you or makes you think you need to be a people pleaser, is not following Jesus, they're making up their own rules for what God requires.
I hope you feel better.
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RE: Retraumatized
August 24, 2011 at 3:08 pm
(August 24, 2011 at 3:04 pm)salty Wrote: they're making up their own rules for what God requires.
As are you. Just so happens that their Jesus kicks ass and takes names, and your's is a candy ass liberal.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: Retraumatized
August 24, 2011 at 3:18 pm
Quote:As are you.
As do all theists.
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RE: Retraumatized
August 25, 2011 at 6:22 am
@Rachael - getting people to do anything out of fear is coersion. That amount of fear and indoctrination you endured is more reminiscent of a kool-aid cult. If a Church doesn't accept all verses of the Bible then just walk out. They Obviously skimmed over Matthew 7. I don't believe I've made up any rules that aren't in the Bible about what God is, requires or what I believe. Nor have they been contested by the Christians here or other Christians I've met.
"There ought to be a term that would designate those who actually follow the teachings of Jesus, since the word 'Christian' has been largely divorced from those teachings, and so polluted by fundamentalists that it has come to connote their polar opposite: intolerance, vindictive hatred, and bigotry." -- Philip Stater, Huffington Post
always working on cleaning my windows- me regarding Johari
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RE: Retraumatized
August 25, 2011 at 9:33 am
(This post was last modified: August 25, 2011 at 9:33 am by salty.)
I don't know what I did with the button, but I was trying to give you a thumbs up! great support, Tackattack.
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