Worst explanations for gravity?

[Aegrus]

What are the worst explanations for gravity you have ever heard? I'm looking for contrast between actual theories and random ideas created by idiots. I know a bit about the actual theories, I just need quick information on opponents to common ideas.

Please help.

[leo-rcc]

Gravity is a flawed theory. Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, The Flying Spaghetti Monster (bbhna), is pushing them down. The evidence for this is that in Asia there are more noodles to his Noodlyness pushes down on the Asians more, that is why they are usually much shorter than Europeans or Americans, and many Africans taller.

[Napoléon]

Goddidit.

[DeistPaladin]

Gravity is a flawed theory. Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, The Flying Spaghetti Monster (bbhna), is pushing them down. The evidence for this is that in Asia there are more noodles to his Noodlyness pushes down on the Asians more, that is why they are usually much shorter than Europeans or Americans, and many Africans taller.

I was just getting ready to post this and you beat me to it.

In any event, we should teach the controversy in our schools and let our kids decide for themselves.

[downbeatplumb]

Gravity is a flawed theory. Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, The Flying Spaghetti Monster (bbhna), is pushing them down. The evidence for this is that in Asia there are more noodles to his Noodlyness pushes down on the Asians more, that is why they are usually much shorter than Europeans or Americans, and many Africans taller.

I was just getting ready to post this and you beat me to it.

me too.

[frankiej]

My aunt used a fantastic one on me:

Things fall down because they are hardly going to fall up, are they?

That was her only explanation... Nothing added to it.

[Rayaan]

Because there is a huge magnet at the center of the earth.

[Tiberius]

I once frequented the "Flat Earth Society" forums, and met some people who honestly believed that what we call "gravity" is simply the effect of the Earth (which is a massive flat disk surrounded by a wall of ice) hurtling upwards through the universe.

I know, I laughed too.

[Rayaan]

I once frequented the "Flat Earth Society" forums, and met some people who honestly believed that what we call "gravity" is simply the effect of the Earth (which is a massive flat disk surrounded by a wall of ice) hurtling upwards through the universe.

At least they successfully applied Einstein's equivalence principle in relation to gravity. So, a little credit there.

[theVOID]

I once heard that the ground and other surfaces are "energy neutral" zones and that the reason we don't float up is because we lack the energy to do so... He said the reason we fall is because it requires more energy to sustain a higher position on a vertical plane and that "everything has a natural tendency to seek energy equilibrium" or something, so we automatically precede to the "energy neutral zones"...

Yeah, he was one of those dudes who thought he was going to revolutionise physics by taking a bunch of half-truths and then "thinking about it" until it "made sense", much like Diamond Deist