Get to Know Your Staff - Rayaan

[Autumnlicious]

The only reason why one would marry more than one woman is if they didn't have rights (or fewer of them) and could be beaten.

Which, conveniently, Islam allows (the last part explicitly). But only with a stick no thicker than your thumb.

Because that would leave marks.

I take back the last part, given this piece: http://www.quran434.com/wife-beating-islam.html

Still, the misogynist environment is most Islamic countries makes one wonder that even if 4:34 actually means "cite her" (to the authorities) instead of "beat her", how could they have screwed up interpreting their own 'perfect' word so badly...

[Cinjin]

As far as I'm concerned anyone can marry any number of people they like, so long as it's consensual it's nobody else's business.

agreed.

I just couldn't do it myself. The whining and nagging x4 ... sweet jesus, I just couldn't do it.

[reverendjeremiah]

I have a few questions for Rayaan. If he has the time for them, that is:

#1 - What sect of Islam do you adhere to?

#2 - Have you tried hummus yet? If so, does it taste like barf with mayonaise whipped into it... exactly like it looks?

#3 - How many wives will it take for you to marry before you realize that 72 virgins in heaven is a punishment, not a prize?

#4 - I would prefer a single middle aged hooker over 72 young virgins. What would Allah and Mohammad think of that?

#5 - On the side of a viagra box it says "If you have an erection that lasts more than 3 hours, call a doctor." - Do you think it would be more wise to instead call a hooker? Or to call several hookers?

#6 - What other uses do I have available to me for my copy of the Koran other than using it to put under my table leg to stop my table from wobbling?

#7 - If someone is really good with putting a worm on a hook..does that make him or her a "master baiter"?

#8 - In the Koran, Iblis was made of "living, smokeless fire." - How can fire be "living" anywhere other than in the imaginations of men?

#9 - If Mohammad was supposed to be the last profit, then please explain the other profits that came and created sects such as the Jehovahs witnesses and Mormons, and then please explain how those arguments against those sects do not also apply to your religion as well.

#10 - When i am making a bacon sandwich, should I use lots of thin cut bacon, or a small amount of thick cut bacon?

[Rayaan]

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#1 - What sect of Islam do you adhere to?

I call myself just a Muslim.

But, if I had to specify myself into a sect, it would be in the Sunni sect and the Hanafi school of thought. But my adherence to them is very small.

#2 - Have you tried hummus yet? If so, does it taste like barf with mayonaise whipped into it... exactly like it looks?

No, I never tried a humus before. I don't even like how it looks.

#3 - How many wives will it take for you to marry before you realize that 72 virgins in heaven is a punishment, not a prize?

I don't believe in the 72 virgins thing in the first place as I said this post.

I don't want 72 virgins either. It sounds like a punishment. But again, I don't really know what people are like in Heaven and what things there are.

#4 - I would prefer a single middle aged hooker over 72 young virgins. What would Allah and Mohammad think of that?

I'm not sure what they would think. Maybe neither is good, but I think a single middle-aged hooker would be more preferable out of the two choices.

#5 - On the side of a viagra box it says "If you have an erection that lasts more than 3 hours, call a doctor." - Do you think it would be more wise to instead call a hooker? Or to call several hookers?

Call 20 hookers if you like, but better to see a doctor, IMO.

#6 - What other uses do I have available to me for my copy of the Koran other than using it to put under my table leg to stop my table from wobbling?

I don't know. Maybe there is no other use of the Quran for you other than that.

#7 - If someone is really good with putting a worm on a hook..does that make him or her a "master baiter"?

Why not?

#8 - In the Koran, Iblis was made of "living, smokeless fire." - How can fire be "living" anywhere other than in the imaginations of men?

In my limited understanding, this is one of the things in the Quran which we cannot fully comprehend due to our inability to understand nature beyond our related experiences. I do not take these terms literally because we can only understand the meaning of the words "living, smokeless fire" to the extent of our knowledge and experience that we can relate to in this world.

#9 - If Mohammad was supposed to be the last profit, then please explain the other profits that came and created sects such as the Jehovahs witnesses and Mormons, and then please explain how those arguments against those sects do not also apply to your religion as well.

Some of the reasons why I think that Muhammad was a prophet, not a profit, are here. And here.
I don't believe that the other people who created sects such as the Jehovah witnesses and Mormons are prophets because the same things cannot be argued for them.

#10 - When i am making a bacon sandwich, should I use lots of thin cut bacon, or a small amount of thick cut bacon?

Use whatever amount you like ...

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I answered them even though it's late and you asked a lot of questions.



As for the wife-beating thing, I discussed that in more details in this post and this post.
I also read more about the interpretations in a different forum in this thread. It's a bit long, yes, but has a thorough explanation

[reverendjeremiah]

no no no no NO

I specifically called Muhammad a "Profit" in the sense that he made money (profit) for his specific cult..

LOL.

[Rayaan]

Well, according to my knowledge, Muhammad didn't preach for money.

He had many enemies as well and many people started to hate him after his prophethood.

Also, he was financially wealthier before his prophethood. Yet, he didn't ask for money and he still gave charity even though he became poorer. He used to wear simple clothes and he lived in a small house. He used to eat on the floor with the poor. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's what I learned from reading biographies about him and from other websites.

But like many others, you might be thinking that this was just a part of his act of being a trickster ... and that's okay ... everyone has their own beliefs.

[Shell B]

He's fucking with you, Rayaan. I doubt he thinks about prophets that much. lol I like your answers, though.

[reverendjeremiah]

He's fucking with you, Rayaan. I doubt he thinks about prophets that much. lol I like your answers, though.

Of course Im fucking with him.

DUH!

LOL rayaan.. you should know my posting style by now.

I agree with Shell B...he at least tried to answer them seriously, which had a humor of its own.

In reality I was seeing how much of a creatve sense of humor he had.

Apparently it is diminshed.

[Rayaan]

I also had a feeling you were fucking with me, Rev.

I just wanted to give simple and straightforward answers. I didn't want you to take my answers too seriously either (hence I put a in my post).
Sometimes I don't have enough time to put so much humor into them. And of course, I don't have to!

[theVOID]

Hahaha I think Rayaan did very well.