Atheists' Dilemma

[Shell B]

I would admit I was an atheist, but refuse to have religious conversations. Just say, "I respect your views, but I don't share them. I don't want to discuss it and cause a rift between us."

[Minimalist]

I would admit I was an atheist, but refuse to have religious conversations. Just say, "I respect your views, but I don't share them. I don't want to discuss it and cause a rift between us."

That rarely works with true religious shitwits, Shel. The knowledge that there is an unbeliever under the same roof will drive them to pursue the matter to the breaking point.

Only Chris knows if his situation is that bad or not.

[Shell B]

I'm just saying what I would do. Of course, he needs to make his own decision.

[5thHorseman]

I'd only admit if asked. No need to rock the boat. Tell then for definite when you move out, obviously expressing how much you love them. Because like babies, fundies need a hug when they have their toys taken away.

[Faith No More]

Personally, I find times of bereavement to be the worst moments to discuss religion, especially subjects such as the afterlife. I've got to go with the sentiment that there is no reason to state your beliefs unless asked. If the subject of the afterlife came up, however, I would just say that you are unsure about it. It's less of a lie than saying you believe in it, and it will keep you from getting into an over emotional argument about the state of a loved one no longer living.

[IATIA]

... you see when dealing with theists you can be honest with them that since you've lost your father, you've also lost all faith in a loving god. You can cite the problem of evil and so on if they keep asking why.

I believe this to be a poor option as it would just motivate a theist more. The theist's contention would be that 'chris' had believed in god and the tragedy has temporarily unbalanced him and a little TLC is all that is required.

My advice is 'culled' honesty. You do not need to ring a bell and holler out to the four corners of the earth, nor do you need to offer anti-theist statements, but when responding do answer, but without qualification. If they desire to engage, play it by ear. Staying 'in the closet' forces you to live a lie. If you are happy living a lie, then you do not need our advice.

[imanalice]

Is it really any of their business unless they ask or unless you want to spill? I don't recommend spilling though unless they ask you... then you should be honest enough to say what you feel. If they can't at least be empathetic to your beliefs, or lack of beliefs then cut off all conversation of the topic until they've had at least some time to think about your feelings.

[chris]

Many thanks for all you advice and support.
To clear things up, I am in my 40s, my mother lives in the South of France while me and my sister live in England. I don't see any of them except for holidays, but I do talk with my mother on a daily basis so the conclusion I've come to instinctively is that I don't want to rock the boat and mainly keep quiet or make non comital noises when anything religious comes up. I know that this sounds easy but it's not easy when every phone call ends in my mother telling me she's pointing the phone towards the graveyard, or reminding me that all saints' day is coming up on the 30th so should do a special prayer then.

All the best

Chris

[reverendjeremiah]

How old are you?

If you're 40 than you need to speak up and be counted. If you're 17 and living in your parents house, than I agree with the other members. Keep your nose down, your mouth shut and bide your time.

Whatever you decide - always have your number-one strong argument ready and researched. If when you do finally come out of the atheist closet - you don't want to look like an uneducated dullard who "just wants to do evil". Show them that you've put thought into your decision and that this isn't about rebelling or committing "sin".

cheers.

this doesnt work either..as they will claim that you are talking down to them as if youare smarter than they are.

Its really a lose lose situation. It took me many years to get from a very shakey relationship with my family when it comes to religion to just a shakey one.

the nice thing is that just recently my little brother came out and told me my arguments made good points, and that he is becoming more and more of an atheist as time goes by.

[Thor]

Personally, when others spout their nonsensical beliefs I would question them in a nonconfrontational way. For example, you could say something like, "I don't understand this. You say that God loves us, but he allows babies to be born with awful birth defects." When they give a lame-ass excuse, you then say, "I don't understand that either. Why would a being that loves us allow a child to be born with severe cerbral palsy?" And so on.... I would try to make them defend the most absurd things about what they believe by simply asking innocent sounding questions. If you continue with this tactic long enough they'll eventually have to give up because they have no sound basis for their irrational beliefs.