Hall of wit and epicness.

[Faith No More]

Those second degree ones will make you scream. Not like a girl, mind you, but you sure as hell won't be able to just keep your teeth clenched.

I hope I never find out what third degree burns make you do.

[Rahul]

Then you haven't had a severe enough burn.

You guys know what creosote is?

It's that black tarlike stuff they put on telephone poles to keep them from rotting. It's a carcinogenic. It'll eat you too.

I found that out the hard way.

I was working for my dad's construction company in the oil fields in East Texas. One day our job was to pull up all the poles that carried the electrical cabling to the pumping units on the oil wells so the poles could be replaced.

All the cabling had already been dropped and hauled off. Our job was just to remove those poles. My dad told me to watch out for what sounded like to me "chrisoak". I didn't know what he was talking about. I thought maybe something like Poison Oak because there were high bushes right against the poles and I was allergic to Poison Ivy. So, ok. Whatever.

The backhoe would yank up the pole and lay it down. Then we would wrap a chain around the middle of the pole, the backhoe would pick it up, and we'd move it to a long trailer to be hauled off.

My job was to hold onto one end of the pole to make sure it didn't start spinning around. It's Texas, over 100 degrees, as I'm holding the poles steady I'm resting my bare forearms on these things and sweating like a pig.

After a few hours, my forearms start to burn a little. An hour later they start to really burn. Another hour later, my teeth are clenched and I'm just pacing inbetween what we're doing next. Just pacing like mad and clenching all over.

Finally the older guys I'm working with (who are all in their 40's and 50's. I'm like 19.) fill me in on what the fuck creosote is.

It was the most agonizing shit ever. Because it just went on and on and on and there was nothing I could do. My dad comes driving by to check up on us. I walk up to dad's truck, tell him what happened, and ask him if I could run to the house real quick (which was less than a mile away), and scrub this shit off my arms.

My dad casually looks at his watch, looks at me, and says, "You've got three more hours till work is over."

Burned all the skin off the inside of my arms. Huge fucking solid scabs. One completely covering my right inside forearm. The other covering my left.

That's called an object lesson. Never will forget what the fuck creosote is.

[thesummerqueen]

Jesus.

[Rahul]

Oh, mom kicked his ass when she got home. haha. But yeah, that burned.

I didn't witness that though. I was passed out in front of a fan with my forearms pointed toward it.

[NoraBrimstone]

Turns out I scream like a little girl when burnt.

Who doesn't?

I don't. I have had so many burns. I used to work at a cookie shop and burnt myself every fucking day. I'm short, right, and one of the ovens was above my height. One day I was taking a tray of really really really hot cookies out of that oven and managed to drop it on my face. That hurt a lot. A lot a lot. I still didn't scream. Nor did I scream the time my hand accidentally touched the inside of an oven while it was on and it was so hot, my hand stuck to it for a few seconds until I could yank it away. That time, the pain wasn't so bad, the smell distracted me from that. I know what I smell like if you cook me, now.

[downbeatplumb]

I don't. I have had so many burns. I used to work at a cookie shop and burnt myself every fucking day. I'm short, right, and one of the ovens was above my height. One day I was taking a tray of really really really hot cookies out of that oven and managed to drop it on my face. That hurt a lot. A lot a lot. I still didn't scream. Nor did I scream the time my hand accidentally touched the inside of an oven while it was on and it was so hot, my hand stuck to it for a few seconds until I could yank it away. That time, the pain wasn't so bad, the smell distracted me from that. I know what I smell like if you cook me, now.

hope you don't drive!!!!
You sound like one accident prone person.

[NoraBrimstone]

I don't. I have had so many burns. I used to work at a cookie shop and burnt myself every fucking day. I'm short, right, and one of the ovens was above my height. One day I was taking a tray of really really really hot cookies out of that oven and managed to drop it on my face. That hurt a lot. A lot a lot. I still didn't scream. Nor did I scream the time my hand accidentally touched the inside of an oven while it was on and it was so hot, my hand stuck to it for a few seconds until I could yank it away. That time, the pain wasn't so bad, the smell distracted me from that. I know what I smell like if you cook me, now.

hope you don't drive!!!!
You sound like one accident prone person.

lol, accident prone is me. I don't really care about hurting myself so I'm not all that careful. That's one of a million reasons I don't drive. :P

[Walking Void]

Scratch what I said about burn reactions.

To be realistic, I transform into the Tourettes Guy. I heal my injuries by eating a Snickers.

[Rahul]

There's not a fine line between being tough with your kids and being cruel. It's a twelve foot high, reinforced concrete barrier.

My father was never once cruel to me. But the fucker was tough.

And I love him to death.

[downbeatplumb]

There's not a fine line between being tough with your kids and being cruel. It's a twelve foot high, reinforced concrete barrier.

My father was never once cruel to me. But the fucker was tough.

And I love him to death.

You do know we've seen the creosote story don't you.