RE: Guns = rape
May 30, 2014 at 11:56 am
(This post was last modified: May 30, 2014 at 11:57 am by Creed of Heresy.)
I checked "weed."
Weed, as we all know, is the devil's drug. It makes us listen to the rocks musics, grow our hair out longer than Regulation Christianity Approved (RCA) standards, and gets us instantly addicted to heroin, meth, cocaine, crack-cocaine, DMT, 'ludes, Molly, weed, alcohol, cigarettes, ESPECIALLY peyote, PCP, purple drank, and Ozzy Osbourne. And since Ozzy Osbourne bit the head off a bat, it stands to reason that it would make us rapists, and since peyote comes from a cactus, it naturally stands to reason that we would feel a need to purchase many a firearm for the express purpose of shooting puppies after sodomizing them.
My logic is irrefutable. I believe it, so it must be true. I should know. I read it in a book somewhere when I was shivering on an H high, tweaking on meth, and tripping balls on peyote after smoking a marijuana cigarette, or "smoking a 'joint'" as the kids have started calling it recently. And that book was really big, so it had a lot of pages for me to caress while giggling my ass off cuz I had just spiked a molly. I don't remember too much, though that have been because my memory has been replaced by the world falling apart into blue, red, and yellow ball-pit balls from the PCP. But the content of that book, man. It was inspiring. It had some bitchin' fuckin' wisdom. Then again that might've just been the purple drank and quaaludes I spiked together talking.
And that's how I discovered Christianity.
Weed, as we all know, is the devil's drug. It makes us listen to the rocks musics, grow our hair out longer than Regulation Christianity Approved (RCA) standards, and gets us instantly addicted to heroin, meth, cocaine, crack-cocaine, DMT, 'ludes, Molly, weed, alcohol, cigarettes, ESPECIALLY peyote, PCP, purple drank, and Ozzy Osbourne. And since Ozzy Osbourne bit the head off a bat, it stands to reason that it would make us rapists, and since peyote comes from a cactus, it naturally stands to reason that we would feel a need to purchase many a firearm for the express purpose of shooting puppies after sodomizing them.
My logic is irrefutable. I believe it, so it must be true. I should know. I read it in a book somewhere when I was shivering on an H high, tweaking on meth, and tripping balls on peyote after smoking a marijuana cigarette, or "smoking a 'joint'" as the kids have started calling it recently. And that book was really big, so it had a lot of pages for me to caress while giggling my ass off cuz I had just spiked a molly. I don't remember too much, though that have been because my memory has been replaced by the world falling apart into blue, red, and yellow ball-pit balls from the PCP. But the content of that book, man. It was inspiring. It had some bitchin' fuckin' wisdom. Then again that might've just been the purple drank and quaaludes I spiked together talking.
And that's how I discovered Christianity.
