I called my mother on the weekend.
"Are you still there?"
"Yes, why?"
"Don't feel any urges to rise into the sky and fly away?"
"What?"
"No strange trumpet noises from the sky?"
"No!"
"None of the friends or family disappeared? No random piles of clothes being found in the streets?"
"Are you drunk?"
"No, just confirming the results of another rapture claim."
"Rapture? Oh, that's bullshit!"
"Are you still there?"
"Yes, why?"
"Don't feel any urges to rise into the sky and fly away?"
"What?"
"No strange trumpet noises from the sky?"
"No!"
"None of the friends or family disappeared? No random piles of clothes being found in the streets?"
"Are you drunk?"
"No, just confirming the results of another rapture claim."
"Rapture? Oh, that's bullshit!"
Dying to live, living to die.