Posts: 66326
Threads: 140
Joined: June 28, 2011
Reputation:
160
RE: There Has Been A Serious Infestation of Jesus Freaks
March 17, 2012 at 8:28 pm
Those are nice X, but I prefer the older soviet models
![[Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQwfBIoFNpI18XbPez6-6B...R2f-jh6PUA]](https://encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQwfBIoFNpI18XbPez6-6BYGUk40C2XadOLvSvRELewR2f-jh6PUA)
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Posts: 25314
Threads: 239
Joined: August 26, 2010
Reputation:
156
RE: There Has Been A Serious Infestation of Jesus Freaks
March 17, 2012 at 8:29 pm
You missed a trick though, Min. You could have said "Let us spray".
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
Posts: 4345
Threads: 43
Joined: February 21, 2012
Reputation:
64
RE: There Has Been A Serious Infestation of Jesus Freaks
March 17, 2012 at 8:30 pm
(This post was last modified: March 17, 2012 at 8:30 pm by Nine.)
(March 17, 2012 at 8:28 pm)Rhythm Wrote: Those are nice X, but I prefer the older soviet models
![[Image: hey-girl-does-this-rag-smell-like-chloro...c55146.jpg]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=assets.scumbagsteve.com%2Fhashed_silo_content%2Fb20%2Fb46%2F315%2Fresized%2Fhey-girl-does-this-rag-smell-like-chloroform-to-you-c55146.jpg)
Posts: 69248
Threads: 3759
Joined: August 2, 2009
Reputation:
259
RE: There Has Been A Serious Infestation of Jesus Freaks
March 17, 2012 at 8:55 pm
(This post was last modified: March 17, 2012 at 8:56 pm by Minimalist.)
(March 17, 2012 at 8:21 pm)Loading Please Wait Wrote: Jesus wouldn't like it if we did that.
Fuck him.
Yes. Umm, just exactly where does one buy napalm? 
[/quote]
One can probably find the formula online.
Posts: 639
Threads: 47
Joined: March 7, 2012
Reputation:
34
RE: There Has Been A Serious Infestation of Jesus Freaks
March 17, 2012 at 10:12 pm
(March 17, 2012 at 8:06 pm)Minimalist Wrote: I suggest we spray.
![[Image: spray_ddt.jpg]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=www.whale.to%2Fvaccines%2Fimages%2Fspray_ddt.jpg)
DO YOUR WORST YOU HEATHEN! I AM IMMUNE TO POISON! THE LORD JESUS HAS GRANTED ME THIS POWER THROUGH FAITH!
Quote:Mark 16:18 They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.
"You don't need facts when you got Jesus." -Pastor Deacon Fred, Landover Baptist Church
™: True Christian is a Trademark of the Landover Baptist Church. I have no affiliation with this fine group of True Christians ™ because I can't afford their tithing requirements but would like to be. Maybe someday the Lord will bless me with enough riches that I am able to.
And for the lovers of Poe, here's your winking smiley: 
Posts: 7388
Threads: 168
Joined: February 25, 2009
Reputation:
45
RE: There Has Been A Serious Infestation of Jesus Freaks
March 17, 2012 at 10:23 pm
(This post was last modified: March 17, 2012 at 10:23 pm by Oldandeasilyconfused.)
Quote:DO YOUR WORST YOU HEATHEN! I AM IMMUNE TO POISON! THE LORD JESUS HAS GRANTED ME THIS POWER THROUGH FAITH!
Quote:
Mark 16:18 They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.
------and just why else do you think I suggested napalm,smartie pants? Let's see how you deal with being barbecued alive. About time somebody started paying you arseholes back for all those auto da feys.
Posts: 12513
Threads: 202
Joined: January 3, 2010
Reputation:
107
RE: There Has Been A Serious Infestation of Jesus Freaks
March 17, 2012 at 10:43 pm
You do realise that 'God' and Jesus and Allah' are all atheist?? 
"The Universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest." G'Kar-B5
Posts: 13051
Threads: 66
Joined: February 7, 2011
Reputation:
92
RE: There Has Been A Serious Infestation of Jesus Freaks
March 17, 2012 at 11:05 pm
Minimalist Wrote:padriac Wrote:Yes. Umm, just exactly where does one buy napalm? One can probably find the formula online.
Just mix gasoline and styrofoam and stir til it thickens. Voila, homeade napalm.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
Posts: 69248
Threads: 3759
Joined: August 2, 2009
Reputation:
259
RE: There Has Been A Serious Infestation of Jesus Freaks
March 17, 2012 at 11:21 pm
(This post was last modified: March 17, 2012 at 11:22 pm by Minimalist.)
(March 17, 2012 at 10:12 pm)YahwehIsTheWay Wrote: (March 17, 2012 at 8:06 pm)Minimalist Wrote: I suggest we spray.
DO YOUR WORST YOU HEATHEN! I AM IMMUNE TO POISON! THE LORD JESUS HAS GRANTED ME THIS POWER THROUGH FAITH!
Quote:Mark 16:18 They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.
Oops.
http://mcdanell99.xanga.com/547730445/sn...e-thought/
Quote:This is the main text this cult turns to for their belief system. It reads:
"These signs will accompany those who have believed; n My name they will cast out demons, they will speak with new tongues; they will pick up serpents, and fi they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover." -Mark 16:17-18
There are several problems with this text. First, this text, in fact Mark 16:9-20, is not found in the original manuscripts. It appears, according to Textual Criticism, that the original text that Mark wrote ended at verse 8. Perhaps the reason someone has added the lat 12 verses is because verse 8 is an odd ending for one of the Gospels.
Just an add-on. Apparently one of the popes had a poisonous snake business and you know how those motherfuckers are about making a buck.
Kind of explains the opening of the story.
Quote:Last Tuesday, on Election Day, a woman in Kentucky died of a snake bite after apparently being bitten while at church.
Fucking Kentucky. Where else?
Posts: 639
Threads: 47
Joined: March 7, 2012
Reputation:
34
RE: There Has Been A Serious Infestation of Jesus Freaks
March 18, 2012 at 2:31 am
(March 17, 2012 at 11:21 pm)Minimalist Wrote: Just an add-on.
Our Word of God just kept getting better and better. Evidently, our Lord could dither about. Explains the back and forth in Genesis where he created the world, then regretted it, then flooded it, then regretted flooding it.
Quote:Kind of explains the opening of the story.
Quote:Last Tuesday, on Election Day, a woman in Kentucky died of a snake bite after apparently being bitten while at church.
Fucking Kentucky. Where else?
I guess her faith wasn't powerful enough.
"You don't need facts when you got Jesus." -Pastor Deacon Fred, Landover Baptist Church
™: True Christian is a Trademark of the Landover Baptist Church. I have no affiliation with this fine group of True Christians ™ because I can't afford their tithing requirements but would like to be. Maybe someday the Lord will bless me with enough riches that I am able to.
And for the lovers of Poe, here's your winking smiley:
|
