Trying not to be a hypocrite...

[jonb]

Trying not to be a hypocrite, by avoiding to speak the truth. mmmmm
Each to his own set of beliefs. I believe in the power of a good argument different culture though.

[Faith No More]

Just make time to sit down with them and give them all the evidence you have that supports your no-God hypothesis.

This exactly the type of thing he is wanting to avoid, but I have a feeling that you only said this to be an instigating little twat and were not actually trying to give advice.

[Captain Jack Zodiac]

Trying not to be a hypocrite, by avoiding to speak the truth. mmmmm
Each to his own set of beliefs. I believe in the power of a good argument different culture though.

A good rational argument in which both sides are heard and understood with no bad feelings afterward is great. Unfortunately, that will not be the case. You can't rationalize with some people. They like to play the "that's why it's called faith" card when you do. Thanks for your opinion though!

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Just make time to sit down with them and give them all the evidence you have that supports your no-God hypothesis.

This exactly the type of thing he is wanting to avoid, but I have a feeling that you only said this to be an instigating little twat and were not actually trying to give advice.

You're exactly right! (About the first part, I don't know anyone on here good enough to know if they are a "instigating little twat" or not) Even if I could convince them that there isn't a god (which would be impossible) why would I want to? They are happy to spend time with their church and it gives them a sense of fullfillment. They are both retired and the only people they spend time with are people they go to church with. I'm just trying to pull a balancing act between what I believe and what they think I believe. Probably sounds trival and I guess it is but oh well...

[AeroJ]

I'm new to this forum, but I've had similar experiences.

My father died from cancer almost two years ago. While he had been religious for many years, his belief system became very important toward the end. For many years he had been "angry with god", and upon learning about the cancer he struggled for a while about why god would allow him to get the disease but eventually he made a great effort to "get right with god". Meanwhile, I had been increasingly moving away from religion, and becoming more liberal at the same time. Prior to his diagnosis, we frequently had political and religious discussions that bordered on argument. As he became more sick and more dependent on his religion for comfort, I backed off from any political or religious confrontations. He would sometimes express his concern for what he though was my weakening faith, and I would tell him that I was just seeking answers. I told him I wanted to know the truth. This made him feel better, because he believed the truth was his own religion, so he figured that if I was seeking truth I would eventually reestablish my faith. He would say that he was praying for me.

I realize that I was lying to my father. I was willing to blatantly lie to him, and I would do it again. He was in extreme pain, was dealing with the prospect of ceasing to exist, and one of the main ways he would get through it was to think about the wonderful afterlife he was expecting. Sometimes he'd talk to me about how great heaven would be, and I'd tell him how it would be like the times we'd gone fishing or camping. He needed that tiny bit of hope in order to cope. Because I don't believe there are any eternal consequences for lying, I feel absolutely no guilt for trying to give him some peace.

To Captain Jack, I can understand not wanting to confront your grandparents. I can see how there might be certain situations to have a rational discussion about religion with a loved one, but sometimes it's just not worth it. As long as you don't feel guilt for lying, I say let them keep their ignorance.

[Minimalist]

They like to play the "that's why it's called faith" card

Yes, a lesson they have learned from generations of faithers before them. The problem is that once they go down that particular rathole it is almost impossible to come back with something which they will not see as a personal repudiation - or even a direct insult. There is no polite way to tell someone that faith in the absurd is stupid.

You are best off avoiding the problem, Cap'n Jack.

[Erinome]

I smile and nod to my grandparents all the time. My grandmother did know, but she's suffering from dementia, and every time we talk, me coming out as an atheist is the one thing she remembers clearly. It upsets her, so I just lie to her every time now, tell her I love jesus, and say a prayer to the blessed virgin with her. Why not? It makes her day.

[frankiej]

Well, when I told my catholic Gran she was surprisingly okay with it. I'm sure she must have known, it isn't like I have had it hidden all my life, but when I actually said to her that I don't believe in god she didn't flip. She did, however, say "once a catholic, always a catholic"... so I think she is under the impression that because I was christened I can't be anything else. She is a bit crazy anyway.

[MountOlympus]

In my personal experience, when asked about my religious experiences, telling my grandparents I don't believe in religious bull$#!+ really made them sad and angry.

Unless they have medical problems and wouldn't be able to handle such a shock, I see no reason why anyone shouldn't be truthful when asked something like this.

Never lie, and no one will be able to accuse your beliefs/lack of beliefs of being false.

[Napoléon]

Why do you assume they will judge you poorly?

Oh I dunno, might have something to do with the heaps of people who are disowned by their families in America when they 'come out'.

Just make time to sit down with them and give them all the evidence you have that supports your no-God hypothesis.

Why.

Don't answer that, I'll answer for you.

He doesn't need to, because he doesn't have the burden of proof.

[Faith No More]

You're exactly right! (About the first part, I don't know anyone on here good enough to know if they are a "instigating little twat" or not)

Well, I do, and he is.