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Trying not to be a hypocrite...
August 7, 2012 at 9:25 pm
Is it any worse to let elderly people think you believe in god than it is to let children think you believe in Santa Claus? My grandparents are in their 70's and were part of the reason I was raised in church. It's not like I'm worried I'm going to be kicked out of the will or anything because they aren't well off, I just don't want to hurt them. I know that me not believing the same as they do shouldn't matter, but it will to them. Any suggestions for when god is brought into the conversation?
"You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend"-Richard Jeni
"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish."-unknown
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RE: Trying not to be a hypocrite...
August 7, 2012 at 9:26 pm
Smile and nod.
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RE: Trying not to be a hypocrite...
August 7, 2012 at 10:38 pm
I assume this is an issue of integrity and honesty.
Unless they ask you direct questions about religion there is no cause to lie and thus no dishonesty. In this case their belief you are still of their religion is simply an assumption on their part you have not seen fit to correct.
If they question you regularly, well... I can only tell you what I would do. I'd tell the truth.
If I directly lie to someone I feel like I've traded a vital part of myself for something rather trivial.
I cannot bring myself to seriously give my word to something I know not to be true.
Deception may well be acceptable, even noble in some cases but I would not trust anyone, including myself, to dictate what those circumstances are.
If 'an honest man's word is as good as his bond' then I refuse to be anything less than an honest man... and this rather stubborn and old fashioned approach has gotten me into various shit-storms I would not care to mention on an internet forum.
That being said, you probably shouldn't go by this example if you want to live in peace.
"That is not dead which can eternal lie and with strange aeons even death may die."
- Abdul Alhazred.
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RE: Trying not to be a hypocrite...
August 7, 2012 at 11:20 pm
Thank you both for your advice. I think I'll use both. As long as they only use general statements about god or praying or whatever I'll use the smile and nod or some vague statement that really doesn't make me into a liar. If they ask a specific question though, am i going to church or praying or whatever, I'll just have to tell them as nice as possible that I don't believe everything they believe. I've finally stopped lying to myself about what I believe so it's only fair that I stop lying to everyone else too. Thanks again!
"You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend"-Richard Jeni
"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish."-unknown
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RE: Trying not to be a hypocrite...
August 8, 2012 at 1:38 am
(This post was last modified: August 8, 2012 at 1:39 am by Lion IRC.)
Why do you assume they will judge you poorly?
Heaps of 70 year olds used to be atheists/agnostics/doubters in their earlier years like you.
Just make time to sit down with them and give them all the evidence you have that supports your no-God hypothesis.
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RE: Trying not to be a hypocrite...
August 8, 2012 at 2:21 am
(This post was last modified: August 8, 2012 at 2:24 am by The Grand Nudger.)
I can't imagine why there would be anything wrong with that amigo. Stick around and you'll find that people often continue to believe whatever they want about you -even in direct opposition to your own words on the matter-. If it greases the wheels, there's no reason to throw a wrench in it. I'm with Shell, smiling, nodding, old people like that sort of shit....
(hehe, look at our friendly neighborhood christian over here, attempting to sow strife and discord where there need be none, what a wonderful idea. Helpful little werewolves.)
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: Trying not to be a hypocrite...
August 8, 2012 at 2:48 am
(August 7, 2012 at 9:26 pm)Shell B Wrote: Smile and nod.
That's good advice for a lot of things really.
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RE: Trying not to be a hypocrite...
August 8, 2012 at 4:11 am
My grandmother was very religious, and we had a great relationship. Religion was just something we didn't talk about. You can't have a disagreement over it if it never comes up.
You really believe in a man who has helped to save the world twice, with the power to change his physical appearance? An alien who travels though time and space-- in a police box?!? ![[Image: TARDIS.gif]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=www.smileyvault.com%2Falbums%2Fuserpics%2F11195%2FTARDIS.gif)
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RE: Trying not to be a hypocrite...
August 8, 2012 at 4:47 am
Oh yes 70, poor old frail things they would never be up to finding there could be another point of view other than their own, at that age it would cause a complete physical beak down, you would be signing their death warrants. Fuck off I'm only 15 years of that age, and you know what I have learnt some people actually have minds of their own, and can have different views from me. Have you thought that these decrepit old codgers of yours might prise honesty as a virtue?
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RE: Trying not to be a hypocrite...
August 8, 2012 at 6:17 am
(This post was last modified: August 8, 2012 at 6:28 am by Captain Jack Zodiac.)
(August 8, 2012 at 1:38 am)Lion IRC Wrote: Why do you assume they will judge you poorly?
Heaps of 70 year olds used to be atheists/agnostics/doubters in their earlier years like you.
Just make time to sit down with them and give them all the evidence you have that supports your no-God hypothesis.
I'm not assuming they would judge me poorly. I'm stating a fact. They are pretty devout. They will say "you were raised better than that" and "you need to get right with god" for starters and I will just get worse from there. I'm hoping if I just say thank you when they tell me they're praying for me and quickly change the subject I can skate by since I only see them maybe once a year anyway.
(August 8, 2012 at 4:47 am)jonb Wrote: Oh yes 70, poor old frail things they would never be up to finding there could be another point of view other than their own, at that age it would cause a complete physical beak down, you would be signing their death warrants. Fuck off I'm only 15 years of that age, and you know what I have learnt some people actually have minds of their own, and can have different views from me. Have you thought that these decrepit old codgers of yours might prise honesty as a virtue?
I'm sure they know that there are other points of view other than their own. They just won't be able to accept that their oldest grandson has a different point of view. I also know I won't be signing their death warrant but there will be hard feelings and lectures that I would rather avoid. They will not view it as me just being honest, I will be "running from god" or "talking nonsense". In their defense though, considering I rarely talk to them, they would be blindsided by this. It's not like I told them "Hey grandma, I just wanted you to know I'm not sure if I believe in god, Jesus, or all that stuff." They will think I just woke up one day and decided I wanted to go to hell..lol
Thank you to everyone for the advice!!!
"You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend"-Richard Jeni
"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish."-unknown
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