What do you do when life gets you down

[Edwardo Piet]

@ apo and Faith No More.

I myself have bi-polar affective disorder and I was diagnosed at 18 (I'm 24 now), although I believe I expressed some symptoms at least 6 months before that. Who knows how long I've had elements of it.

When I've been depressed I really had no idea what I was feeling.... after all my emotions were a confusion and more than simply depression. All my episodes are kind of mixed episodes. But nevertheless it turns out that I was mostly depressed and I say 'turns out' because it is only looking back that I realize how truly low in mood I was. I was in a void of hopelessness and frustration but I was too confused to know what I felt.

When I've been manic, well, that's another story. It involved full-blown delusional mania.

I've had several more minor mini episodes but only 2 major episodes so far, although they were very major. The first one being very manic indeed and also with some mixed paranoia and the second one being severe depression with some mixed anger and attempted suicide. I was in hospital for 8 weeks during both those major episodes.

[Faith No More]

Eight weeks? That's brutal. I myself never had to do a stretch longer than twelve days.

So, what do you do to help prevent episodes?

[Utracia]

Pizza

[Edwardo Piet]

Eight weeks? That's brutal. I myself never had to do a stretch longer than twelve days.

So, what do you do to help prevent episodes?

My illness seems to be getting less severe generally over time. I may have several episodes in the future, but if I do I bet they are much milder. I may have only a few, I may have a couple or I may never have another episode again.

I learn a lot about my own emotions from recovering from an episode. I'm not saying that that necessarily applies to everyone with my illness though.

Also, if I were to never or rarely get ill again, I probably still need to stay on meds for that. And at least for now it's certainly the best option. I probably shall have to stay on meds my whole life.

To prevent episodes the best I can do is check for "warning signs" and the more episodes I have the more familiar I become with what those warning signs are. Also, other people I know such as my family can help recognize any warning signs I may be experiencing.

Then, obviously, if there are warning signs, go see part of my mental health team about it and if necessary get further treatment.

By the way, along with my bipolar affective disorder (bipolar type 1) I also have internalized OCD, I have obsessions and they cause me to have compulsive thoughts that repeat over and over and over and over and over and over to such an annoying extent that it provokes quite bad anxiety in me at times. I also have 4 second or under memory problems, spacial memory problems, visual memory problems - and visual co-ordination problems when it comes to getting places in the real world.

[FallentoReason]

Get out of your house, go to a place where people meet. And I don't mean behind the trainstation. Drink something before you go so you care less.

Mmm, recommending substances for when you're down probably isn't the best idea. My highschool friend decided to use alcohol as a means to get to know people at university. 3 years later he posts things on facebook such as (this was today actually) "do hangovers compound? I guess we'll find out tonight". Sadly, I would say he's actually an alcoholic now.

[festive1]

I must say DvF, you sound as if you are facing your illness in a way others I have known who have bipolar disorder do not. It seems like you are willing to face the internal struggle, rather than pretending it does not exist or believing you are completely powerless to the illness itself (something my father does in spades). I applaud you and sincerely wish you the best. It's not easy, but life itself is never easy, and if life were easy, would it really be worth living?

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Get out of your house, go to a place where people meet. And I don't mean behind the trainstation. Drink something before you go so you care less.

Mmm, recommending substances for when you're down probably isn't the best idea. My highschool friend decided to use alcohol as a means to get to know people at university. 3 years later he posts things on facebook such as (this was today actually) "do hangovers compound? I guess we'll find out tonight". Sadly, I would say he's actually an alcoholic now.

Agreed, I've seen a lot of people with depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues take the slippery slope into addiction. Sometimes numbing the pain/discomfort/anxiety is healthy, but if relied upon too much it can really lead to disaster. To face the issues is more painful, but ultimately leads to a better end in my experience.

[Edwardo Piet]

Thank you for your compliments, it makes me feel lucky.

If we can have a great life without any difficulties I think that that is better. I think ease is good. But it's just not realistic. At all. Realistically I think life is only really worth living when we have the ability to strive through difficulties, i.e. when it's not easy. Because, in reality, a lot of pleasure seems to come from that, and it also helps us cope with suffering.

[festive1]

I don't think one can truly appreciate life's beauty without the pain. Hence why so many wonderful artists, musicians, and writers are so tortured.

[Edwardo Piet]

I just said on another thread, I'm emotionally masochistic which probably explains why I can be happy as Larry and sad as fuck at the same time.

Now, I doubt that's healthy, but it's the way I feel. I would die of boredom if I couldn't get emotional pleasure from emotional displeasure.

To paraphrase Steven Wilson from the band Porcupine Tree: 'Bipolar disorder. Can't deal with the boredom.'

Obviously that's just an opinion, but nevertheless one I personally resonate with.

[festive1]

When I've been depressed, people don't know it. It's all in my head. I can still function, I can smile and laugh and seem to have a good time. Meanwhile, my brain is just a churning, seething mass of unpleasantness... Until I hit a wall, then I can't function at all and have obsessive self-harming thoughts. Then it's off to the hospital for me. That's happened a few times. Now I've stopped trying to outrun it, facing it is awful, but it's better than wanting to hurt myself.