What do you do when life gets you down

[Gilgamesh]

The only thing that would get me down is anxiety. Then, I would avoid people to stop anxiety from happening. Then, I would get down because my life was void of... anything, really. Then, I got a job, because with money, I can achieve my gaols (I do have goals.) Now, I'm down again, because my job requires constant exposure/communication with people and so I'm anxious.

[Edwardo Piet]

When life gets me down, I go and find something that I like.

[KichigaiNeko]

Incamahol, interwebs. Wrist slashing music and painkillers.

Not a happy Kitteh atm

[Angrboda]

You're right about that one. I'll have to talk to someone I can trust. Lately I don't feel like I can trust talking to my family. Just dealing with some issues lately...

I'll talk with you, I'm a good listener.

Says the person with the implied threat of eternal damnation and hellfire in their signature.

[Faith No More]

When I used to get really depressed I would write my thoughts down in a journal. Something about purging my emotions by putting them into words would dull the pain a bit.

Listening to good music or playing video games would also make me feel a little better. Basically anything that would distract me would help.

And I did lots of drugs, which I do not recommend.

[Angrboda]

When I used to get really depressed I would write my thoughts down in a journal. Something about purging my emotions by putting them into words would dull the pain a bit.

(on journaling to resolve dissonance, how most effective, etc.)

[Faith No More]

That makes a lot of sense, apophenia. When I was first getting depressed, there was no rhyme and reason to it. I couldn't make sense of anything I was feeling, nor could I justify why I felt that way. It wasn't until I experienced a real tragedy that sent me spiraling into a very deep depression that I became resolved to learn and benefit from that experience. Essentially, I was a pessimist determined to become an optimist.

[Angrboda]

That makes a lot of sense, apophenia. When I was first getting depressed, there was no rhyme and reason to it. I couldn't make sense of anything I was feeling, nor could I justify why I felt that way. It wasn't until I experienced a real tragedy that sent me spiraling into a very deep depression that I became resolved to learn and benefit from that experience. Essentially, I was a pessimist determined to become an optimist.

As to whether depression "comes for a reason" or not, I'd say different people have different responses and different types. (The affective disorders might more profitably be looked upon as a cluster of disorders with overlapping symptomology. As a person with schizo-affective disorder, my illness is a mix of bipolar symptoms and schizophrenic ones, where most people think of the two as completely distinct disorders.) Anyway, I'm wandering off point. For some symptoms and episodes, and some people, they can tie episodes to triggers. Migraines run in my family. One of my sisters is able to intuit that her headaches are coming. Me, I never could detect any pattern. My headaches were as unpredictable as the weather. My depressions are much the same. They just come. No sense or reason to them. And generally no predicting when they will leave again. I suspect this is generally true of the more organic or endogenous depressions, though this is not to deny that even then, behavior can modify symptoms. Alcohol, a well known depressant, can complicate and precipitate episodes. I used to use a sedative with a well known propensity for "depression hangovers" — a tendency for the CNS depressive activity of the sedative to linger long into the next day in terms similar to a depressive episode. Caffeine and stress are other potential complicators.

In general, I think "looking for reasons" is a part of trying to find something to hang responsibility for our depressed behavior on. Society has historically looked upon mental illness generally, and depression specifically, as a moral problem: they just need to buck up and start dealing, and if they don't, they simply aren't fit in character or temperament. I think "the reasons game" is a way of trying to have to face your own internalized stigma and accept that depression is an illness, and nobody is weak or at fault for being depressed. Yes we need to apply self-criticism and insight to know when we aren't really giving it our all and trying, but people who are actually depressed are in the worst position to be doing this, as they are already blaming themself for anything and everything that is or might happen. It's a paradox, but one that I think, perhaps, without thinking it through, is best resolved by the maxims: trust yourself, and if you can't trust yourself, trust others who know you to tell you what is what.

-rae/apo

[festive1]

I used to isolate a lot. I still do. But it helps to talk with someone I trust when I'm feeling down.

You're right about that one. I'll have to talk to someone I can trust. Lately I don't feel like I can trust talking to my family. Just dealing with some issues lately...

I figured out somewhere between 12-14 that my family wasn't giving me the emotional support I needed. It took a lot longer for me to realize they weren't capable of offering support. My family consists of emotional vampires, who suck almost everything from you. I felt like everything was my fault. If my dad raged, it was because I did something to set him off. The truth is my dad rages because he doesn't know any other way of functioning and coping with his illness and anxiety (he's bipolar). My mom is an emotional void. She's a workaholic who throws herself into her career. Because that's the only sense of validation she has. I used to think it was because I wasn't good enough to receive her love. But the truth is she has a hard time loving herself, and when you don't love yourself, it's very difficult to love anyone else. Family is what you are born into, you get no choice in the matter. Friends are those you can turn to, and you get complete control over who you want to be friends with. What I'm basically saying is: If you can't turn to your family, replace them (for your emotional needs at least) with friends. Can't get blood from a stone.
Another good lesson I've learned is, feelings just are, they don't have to define you. They aren't good or bad, and they don't necessarily reflect reality. Just feel the feelings, then let them go.
I like the music and journalling suggestions too, I've found those to be very helpful for me.

[Fryslân]

Get out of your house, go to a place where people meet. And I don't mean behind the trainstation. Drink something before you go so you care less.