Parents forcing a christian convention on me - how to keep sane?

[Faith No More]

I have some respect left for my parents, arguing with them like that would be nonsensical, it would achieve nothing. I can't take your advice seriously when you think coming out to your religious parents is a good idea when your gay, thats such a bad idea

Being proud of who you are regardless of what your parents are going to think is not a bad idea.  Children have to learn how to become adults and part of becoming an adult is letting your parents know you're not a child anymore and that your life is going to be run by their rules.

[Norman Humann]

Finding out if they accept me? I have heard say hateful things that lead me to believe they wouldn't. It's not worth the risk.

But what is their conditional acceptance worth?  How much does their acceptance mean to you if you know they would throw it all away based on some silly belief? 

I don't give two shits about their acceptance once I'm out of here. It's not like I'm some puppet doing everything to make them believe I'm christian. I told my mother that I'm staying away for the church because of the effect it had on me. I won't let them affect my life in the smallest way once I can get out of here.


I'm out of this discussion.

[Minimalist]

The OP knows his parents better than anyone.  He's convinced me that they are a couple of christards and confronting them at the tender age of 16 will not end well.

Suck it up.  Go through the motions.  Leave as soon as you can.  You won't change them but they will try to change you while they have the power to do so.

[Faith No More]

I don't give two shits about their acceptance once I'm out of here. It's not like I'm some puppet doing everything to make them believe I'm christian. I told my mother that I'm staying away for the church because of the effect it had on me. I won't let them affect my life in the smallest way once I can get out of here.


I'm out of this discussion.

I'm not sure why you're getting worked up.  I just asked a question.

While Chuck may not be addressing the nuances of the situations, he still has a valid point about autonomy.

[Joods]

How old are you?

Why does that matter? 16...

I think it matters because if you are of legal age, as you've stated (assuming you aren't in the US), then you have every right to tell them you don't want to go. There are ways you can say it without being disrespectful, but clearly, you're at an age where you don't need a babysitter. Clingy parents or not - they really can't force you to go to something you don't want to.

I don't know your folks, so I can't honestly give you advice to just tell them you're an atheist. Only you know what sort of backlash that would bring about. If you live with them, they could kick you out for it, so I can't recommend that you do it. But I still don't think that you should be forced to be uncomfortable, at a convention that you just don't wish to be a part of.

[Norman Humann]

I'm not sure why you're getting worked up.  I just asked a question.

While Chuck may not be addressing the nuances of the situations, he still has a valid point about autonomy.

I'm getting worked up because it sounds like you're telling both him and me that we should tell our parents we're atheists and that it's somehow bad that we're not doing it. I told you, I'm not letting them control me and I won't do that, but I just don't think it's worth all the problems that coming out would cause. Once I'm actually independent, I don't have to pretend anything.

What kind of autonomy do you have at 16? Is it really worth going to war with your own family and having to live with them openly disapproving of you?

You said your household was semi-religious and that god wasn't stressed much outside of church, so I think it's safe to assume you don't understand the situation. And you don't know my family.

[YahwehIsTheWay]

It's sick to think that a parent would turn on their child because of that filthy cult.

Sick, but unfortunatly very true , i still don't even understand why religion still exists! Science has proved that the flying spaghetti monster is as believable as any other religion

Playing it safe for now is really the best approach. There will be time to bravely "come out" as an atheist ... as AN UNSAVED HEATHEN... later when you are out of school and on your own. In this economy, this is no time for heroic rebellion. In the meantime, take this opportunity to study the Babble as every atheist really should. It will help in later debates once you do come out.

Don't test the limits as aggressively as I do. My purpose is satire and not to deceive, so I'm always over-the-top with plenty of "tells". Even still, it's surprisingly easy to fool Christians, even without intending to. I remember how one Christian posted that my posts were "inspiring". WTF? Another named "Elunico" actually PMed me and asked me which apologists I preferred. 

So don't think of this as being forced into an indoctrination camp. Think of it as a "field study" of the insanity of religion. You're like a biologist observing the curious behavior of animals or an anthropologist studying the primitive ways of some secluded culture. What you learn may be helpful to you to later debate religion intelligently. 

[Simon Moon]

So when I say forcing I mean they think I want to go, I havent told them about my athiesm as I don't want to face the consequences
With that out of the way I am going to a christian convention on Monday! The time where I have to take a break from my exams Im getting preached about how fucking amazing JC is!

So how do I keep sane? What should I do to keep my ass out of a mental asylum!

Thank you

I hate to say this, but if you are financially dependent on them, you should remain quiet about your atheism until you are financially independent. Especially if you are going to college and they are paying.

Also, you may have to put up with their attempted indoctrination.

I say, go to the convention, and ask a lot of uncomfortable questions to the youth pastors and other Christians there. You might get lucky and they'll ask you to leave.

[Faith No More]

I'm getting worked up because it sounds like you're telling both him and me that we should tell our parents we're atheists and that it's somehow bad that we're not doing it. I told you, I'm not letting them control me and I won't do that, but I just don't think it's worth all the problems that coming out would cause. Once I'm actually independent, I don't have to pretend anything.

What kind of autonomy do you have at 16? Is it really worth going to war with your own family and having yo live with them openly disapproving of you?

You said your household was semi-religious and that god wasn't stressed much outside of church, so I think it's safe to assume you don't understand the situation. And you don't know my family.

Well, then you're reading way too far into my statements.  I've done nothing but advocate that a 16 year-old needs to assert themselves to parents about who they truly are.  I even said explicitly that how that was done was up to the OP.

Sure, my household was only semi-religious, but that doesn't mean I didn't experience over-bearing parents that had my life planned out for me.  By the time I was sixteen, however, I had asserted myself enough that I was able to be who I wanted to be without them feeling like they had the right to tell me who I was going to be.

All I've been saying is that 16 is the age where it's time to assert who you are, and you're going to have to ruffle a few feathers to do that.

[Norman Humann]

Well, then you're reading way too far into my statements.  I've done nothing but advocate that a 16 year-old needs to assert themselves to parents about who they truly are.  I even said explicitly that how that was done was up to the OP.

Sure, my household was only semi-religious, but that doesn't mean I didn't experience over-bearing parents that had my life planned out for me.  By the time I was sixteen, however, I had asserted myself enough that I was able to be who I wanted to be without them feeling like they had the right to tell me who I was going to be.

All I've been saying is that 16 is the age where it's time to assert who you are, and you're going to have to ruffle a few feathers to do that.

I agree with that. I was under the impression you meant that they should come out to their parents. In your earlier statement responding to his comment saying coming out as gay being a bad idea you said that being proud of who you are is not a bad idea. Those two things are not mutually exclusive. You can be proud of who you are and still decide it's better for you to hide it from your family until they don't have as much power over you. Not out of shame, but for practical reasons.

Sure, asserting who you are is important, but with devout religious parents it's not an easy or sometimes even possible thing to do. I don't know the OP's situation and I can only speak for myself, but any attempt to present beliefs contradicting those of my mother resulted in her telling me I'm wrong and lecturing me about it. It's really hard to argue with these kind of people so I chose not to discuss some things with them to save myself the negative response. But still, while it's important to assert yourself there's really not that much you can do at 16 and some people don't take kindly to disagreements. It's good to draw the line, though. I just don't think there is a universal age for that.