Posts: 698
Threads: 16
Joined: October 17, 2014
Reputation:
16
RE: Satan Stole My Waffle
January 17, 2017 at 10:00 pm
(January 17, 2017 at 10:09 am)Rhondazvous Wrote: I put 4 waffles in my toaster oven this morning. But when I dumped them onto a plate, there were only 3. At first I thought it was just my bad eyesight. But I felt and looked everywhere and that renegade waffle wasn't nowhere. It had grown legs and walked away.
When I was a teen the Sunday school teacher told us when something is missing and we can't find it, it's because demons are hiding it and we need to rebuke the devil in the name of Jesus.
So I rebuke you, Satan. In the name of Jesus you unhand my waffle. You have no right to keep me from finding my waffle. It's mine and I bind your power over it in the name of Jesus.
There now I should be able to find it. It's probably right there on the plate.
Satan's actually more of a crepe kind of guy. He probably didn't take your waffle.
I might have though. I love me some chocolate chip waffles too.... okay time for waffle house 
“Love is the only bow on Life’s dark cloud. It is the morning and the evening star. It shines upon the babe, and sheds its radiance on the quiet tomb. It is the mother of art, inspirer of poet, patriot and philosopher.
It is the air and light of every heart – builder of every home, kindler of every fire on every hearth. It was the first to dream of immortality. It fills the world with melody – for music is the voice of love.
Love is the magician, the enchanter, that changes worthless things to Joy, and makes royal kings and queens of common clay. It is the perfume of that wondrous flower, the heart, and without that sacred passion, that divine swoon, we are less than beasts; but with it, earth is heaven, and we are gods.” - Robert. G. Ingersoll
Posts: 9343
Threads: 19
Joined: September 8, 2015
Reputation:
79
RE: Satan Stole My Waffle
January 18, 2017 at 12:58 pm
Jesus took your waffle. His image was too clear, and he wanted someone else to have it.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
Posts: 15351
Threads: 118
Joined: January 13, 2014
Reputation:
117
RE: Satan Stole My Waffle
January 18, 2017 at 2:36 pm
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great
PM me your email address to join the Slack chat! I'll give you a taco(or five) if you join! --->There's an app and everything!<---
Posts: 3676
Threads: 354
Joined: April 12, 2015
Reputation:
42
RE: Satan Stole My Waffle
January 18, 2017 at 3:38 pm
(January 17, 2017 at 9:00 pm)energizer bunny Wrote: lol omg this is funny. I had a similar experience when Satan tried to steal my lucky charms cereal. But i caught him red handed. (yes, his hands were literally red) and i smashed his hands with my fist (which made it redder). He never messed with me again after that. You can mess with a lot of things but nobody dare messes with my lucky charms.....They're magically delicious.
Well you better not leave me alone with any kind of cereal, because I am a cereal killer.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire
Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Posts: 7318
Threads: 75
Joined: April 18, 2015
Reputation:
73
RE: Satan Stole My Waffle
January 18, 2017 at 4:30 pm
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation:
111
RE: Satan Stole My Waffle
January 18, 2017 at 7:13 pm
Alex has just made a phone call and now the Luftwaffle are on their way....
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Posts: 30129
Threads: 304
Joined: April 18, 2014
Reputation:
92
RE: Satan Stole My Waffle
January 19, 2017 at 1:22 am
BTW:
if Satan returns the purloined waffle, do NOT eat it.
The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it.
Posts: 3676
Threads: 354
Joined: April 12, 2015
Reputation:
42
RE: Satan Stole My Waffle
January 19, 2017 at 8:10 am
(January 19, 2017 at 1:22 am)vorlon13 Wrote: BTW:
if Satan returns the purloined waffle, do NOT eat it. That would be a no-no. I'd have to spend half of every year with him in hades. Maybe that was his plan.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire
Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Posts: 7568
Threads: 20
Joined: July 26, 2013
Reputation:
54
RE: Satan Stole My Waffle
January 19, 2017 at 9:02 am
(January 19, 2017 at 1:22 am)vorlon13 Wrote: BTW:
if Satan returns the purloined waffle, do NOT eat it.
Prodigal waffles
unacceptable, yes, but
better than blue ones.
Posts: 18504
Threads: 79
Joined: May 29, 2010
Reputation:
125
RE: Satan Stole My Waffle
January 19, 2017 at 10:09 am
For the portuguese, literally translating, a tired horse soup. Breakfast of champions.
|
![[Image: Cats-Revenge-665x385.jpg]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=helpfulhellion.com%2Fwordpress%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2015%2F06%2FCats-Revenge-665x385.jpg)
