What is the most absurd error message a program you have made was outputting?

[Nay_Sayer]

You’ve said repeatedly that the courses are useless for preparing you to be a programmer (all you’re after is the sheepskin), but now you’re claiming these courses have made you the best student programmer at your school.

Maybe you should stop yakking about Semmelweis and look into Drs. Dunning and Kruger. 

Boru

I am not saying these courses made me one of the best student programmers at my school, I am saying I one of the best student programmers at my school in spite of the way the university is teaching. I am one of the best student programmers at my school because I have made many hobby projects.

And I don't think I am suffering from the Dunning-Kruger effect. If I wasn't one of the best students to represent the university at the STEM Games programming competition, professor Tomislav Rudec would not choose me for that. If I wasn't one of the most competent people at my university to make a PicoBlaze Simulator which can be run in an Internet browser (as somebody who knows both the basics of front-end development and the basics of the assembly language programming), professor Ivan Aleksi would not ask me to make a PicoBlaze Simulator which he needed in case laboratory exercises were cancelled because of the pandemic.

That way being not giving you all the answers in a color-coded pop up book.

[Jackalope]

Wake me up when someone is willing to pay for your work on an ongoing basis.

[Fireball]

I don't generally look in on threads started by the OP. Most absurd error would be looking into this thread. 

Then again, I was working on coding up a program for tasking viewing angle for a satellite in low earth orbit. That computer kept crashing on a regular basis. It got to the point where I saved after every line of code. When I finally got it all done, it took days to get it to run. I'd already written it elsewhere, and knew it worked there. It was on a MAC computer on this iteration. I despise MACS to this day.

[Ravenshire]

Wake me up when someone is willing to pay for your work on an ongoing basis.

If we do that, you'll have to change your user name to Rip Jack-wink-alope. 

[FlatAssembler]

Wake me up when someone is willing to pay for your work on an ongoing basis.

I am quite sure the vast majority of the 3rd-year computer science students at my university (maybe including me) would, if hired, generate negative value to the team. Not zero, negative. Universities teach zilch soft skills and they teach almost no hard skills that are actually relevant to what an average programmer actually does.

I have read somewhere, and accepted it as a valid thought, that the worst types of programmers in a team are those who, when their team runs into a technical problem, say "We have this technical problem only because we did not follow the academic standards of programming, that are object-oriented and/or functional programming. Had we followed the academic rules of programming, we would not have this problem.". Saying that is very insulting and also usually false. Yet, universities create exactly this type of programmers.
Programmers need to understand that software engineers are, while not quite in the position of medieval physicians, not very far from it. The fact that you have a basic idea of how software works (and nobody fully understands the software running on modern computers) in no way means you know how to fix it. Any more than doctors at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic knew how to treat COVID-19 patients: it was evidence-free zone, in spite of all the knowledge we today have about human body and about virology. And suggesting technical problems would disappear if only we rigorously followed academic rules of programming is only slightly less absurd than suggesting that George Washington would have survived bacterial epiglottitis had only few more drops of blood been taken from his body.

[arewethereyet]

[FlatAssembler]

You don't think that if somebody who has very little relevant hard skills and basically no soft skills joins a team of programmers, he is going to be counter-productive?

[Deesse23]

Universities teach zilch soft skills and they teach almost no hard skills that are actually relevant to what an average programmer actually does.

Thats why you spend all your free time learning those, hard and soft, skills, in order to be fit for your job and not be a burden to your future co-workers?

[FlatAssembler]

Universities teach zilch soft skills and they teach almost no hard skills that are actually relevant to what an average programmer actually does.

Thats why you spend all your free time learning those, hard and soft, skills, in order to be fit for your job and not be a burden to your future co-workers?

Well, yes. I am studying programming and social sciences in my free time because of that, and also because those things interest me. Though, studying programming by yourself and publishing papers about social sciences isn't really a replacement for working in a team.

Occasionally, I do get coworkers for my projects on GitHub. Most recently, some mar1ljo, who claims to study computer science at the FER University in Zagreb (arguably the most prestigeous computer science program in Croatia), forked my AEC-to-WebAssembly compiler on GitHub and we exchanged a few e-mails. But all he did was to refactor my Dragon Curve example program, and then he stopped responding to my e-mails.