Why so many marriages fail in the US

[Angrboda]

Can't live with 'em. Can't shoot 'em.

[Foxaèr]

Can't shoot 'em.

The NRA disagrees.

[neil]

because marriage as you know it is a institution designed primarily in a more primitive age to perpetuate social hierarchy evolved to handle many communicable diseases for which there is no cure,  very high infant mortality,  and heavy reliance on greater upper body strength for economic productivity.     it is failing now because thanks to the habitual tendency to dictate based on made up reasons that characterizes religions, particularly overreaching expansionist imperial religions such as christianity,  it failed at all to evolve with human progress.

Interesting perspective & good points.

Would the concept of marriage already be obsolete if religious institutions didn't try to keep it on life support?

[neil]

Plain and simple, 7 year itch.

LOL - that pretty much sums it up.

[neil]

People grow apart.  Their interests change.  Their life goals change.  Divorce is a perfectly reasonable solution when a relationship is bringing someone more pain than happiness.

I guess one of the issues I have with divorce is that there's a huge waste of resources, such as the cost for a lawyer (and let's not forget that for each divorce there are 2 lawyers involved), and I'd like to see society find better & more useful ways of using those resources.

[neil]

[...]

Here it is: marriage in the United States fails because it's an institution that isn't compatible with equal rights, along with separation of church and state.

[...]

I think I would put a lot more emphasis on economic matters. Old-fashioned marriage isn't compatible with modern capitalism.

If women's liberation means that women are more free to live as they wish, that's obviously a good thing. In practice, though, it has largely meant that women now have to work at jobs just as much as men do. To maintain what we used to call a middle-class lifestyle, both partners have to work outside the home. Corporations began to advertise women's lib when it became clear that they could double their workforce and pay the same amount of benefits. Corporate profits continue to rise, productivity continues to rise, but workers' purchasing power does not. 

So to be clear, I am NOT saying that the world was better when middle-class women could only be housewives. Freedom of choice is good. The trouble is that currently most couples have no choice but to work for others. 

Two careers doesn't mean double the stress -- more like ten times more. If one partner gets transferred or has a chance to move up in a new location, what will the other do? Childcare gets hired out. The necessity of moving for work means that extended families become impractical -- grandma is across the country and can't help out. 

Moreover, capitalism thrives on personal acquisition. It encourages the atomization of society by defining success as the ability to get what you as an individual want. Fulfillment is no longer defined as contributing to the stability and flourishing of a group. It's completely understandable that a Walmart employee doesn't care much about the flourishing of Walmart -- such employees are cogs in a machine. But it's sad that family members also are more likely to bail out of their family group when they feel they want something for themselves. Too often, some kind of lifestyle they've seen in the movies. 

If we could define success differently -- as including the flourishing of those around us -- society would look very different.

You're pointing out an interesting perspective on how marriage isn't compatible with what you refer to as "modern capitalism" & I'd say that I agree with it, but do you think this is a factor in an increase in divorce rates?

[no one]

The problem isn't divorce. The problem is the parties involved. Most hoomans, never really outgrow the toddler stage. It's a fight over the bigger ego.

[neil]

The couples themselves who willingly, voluntarily, get married - it's literally what they say in their own vows.

Not if they don't have that in the vows. You know you can write your own.

I know some couples like to incorporate their own vows, but how many of them remove the "til death do us part" section? Do some of these custom vows have a time limit or expiration date for their marriage ("til the passing of 5 years does us part")?

[neil]

Religious marriages have a higher divorce rate than those of atheists.



https://www.lovetoknow.com/life/relation...y-religion

Wow! LOL

Protestants & Born Again Christians far outdo others with the divorce rate.

BTW I thought Born Again Christians were part of protestantism.

[neil]

The couples themselves who willingly, voluntarily, get married - it's literally what they say in their own vows.

Wasn't in my vows,..................... this time.

Gotcha.