Here is the thing that I've found in my experience, if you want to sleep with other people it's best to talk to your partner about it. Maybe you can come to some sort of arrangement or maybe not. I never have seen the appeal of cheating myself. It seems like a lot of work and also super duper stressful. I also would say I have above average communication skills when it comes to talking about sex. I mean if you are somewhere in your 30s or under people are just so much more open minded then they used to be. I think this spoon fed idea of strict monogamy and how uncomfortable people are with talking about what they want is perhaps the root cause of cheating in the first place.

I wonder how many people here are incapable of letting their partner sleep with other people under any circumstances? Something like that, especially when people are safe about it, isn't cheating and maybe could satisfy that cheating desire that people get.

(July 21, 2015 at 10:52 pm)ignoramus Wrote: Hacking IS wrong. 
People put their trust in these companies to keep their info safe.
I can't stand dishonest people, but not everybody on that site was doing the wrong thing.

What if someone from the middle east hacked this site and some muslim atheist guy on this site got murdered!
Not good!

I'm not a hacker but I think hacking has done some really good things along with the obvious theft and stuff. When government websites get hacked to reveal that they are a bunch of shitheads who are doing immoral stuff, that's good. I think this is much the same. If it takes something illegal to reveal something immoral, I'm all for it.

(August 19, 2015 at 3:27 pm)CapnAwesome Wrote: Here is the thing that I've found in my experience, if you want to sleep with other people it's best to talk to your partner about it. Maybe you can come to some sort of arrangement or maybe not. I never have seen the appeal of cheating myself. It seems like a lot of work and also super duper stressful. I also would say I have above average communication skills when it comes to talking about sex. I mean if you are somewhere in your 30s or under people are just so much more open minded then they used to be. I think this spoon fed idea of strict monogamy and how uncomfortable people are with talking about what they want is perhaps the root cause of cheating in the first place.

I wonder how many people here are incapable of letting their partner sleep with other people under any circumstances? Something like that, especially when people are safe about it, isn't cheating and maybe could satisfy that cheating desire that people get.

My take is a bit different.  If you don't want monogamy, don't ever agree to it.

But, I do agree that if one has made such an agreement and is going to violate the agreement, it would be better to inform the interested party in advance.  They can then decide if they wish to terminate the relationship or continue with a change to a different agreement.  Still, it is a shitty thing to agree to something and then not follow through.  So if one wants to sleep around, the solution is very simple:  Just never agree to monogamy in the first place.

I realize, the OP has been written several weeks ago - but what kind of fundamental idiot writes an email on his girlfriends computer to another woman?

Who the hell uses "Bob" as an alias?

Having been cheated on myself, I don't care one bit about those people having their info dropped. If they want sympathy, they can find it in the dictionary, between "shit" and "syphillis".

When I was 21 I and my first wife thought we would have an open marriage.  That didn't go so well.  If it had, it would have been free from the blame everyone associated with the AM site deserves.  I found out it wasn't for me.  But no way would I go in for recreational sex without the wifey's okay and I'm quite sure she feels the same way.

In nature, of course, there is a niche for cheating.  Birds do it, boys and girls.  It has some evolutionary advantage.  But the best part of a relationship is the trust (assuming you wouldn't be in the relationship anyway if the sex wasn't up to par).  We make choices or at least we like to think we do.  Of course for all those on this site who don't believe in free will, I guess you're free to cheat.  

I have never cheated on anybody, I don't think I could pull it off, I'm a terrible liar, bad with secrets, and I don't deal well with guilt.

(August 19, 2015 at 6:19 pm)Mr.wizard Wrote: Who the hell uses "Bob" as an alias?

everyone!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLTR8qYWJbQ

(August 19, 2015 at 6:09 pm)abaris Wrote: I realize, the OP has been written several weeks ago - but what kind of fundamental idiot writes an email on his girlfriends computer to another woman?

One who is likely not smart enough to be able to keep his girlfriend.

I have found that stupid often goes with immoral.  Much more often than some people like to think, as the old movie trope of the evil genius is still popular in such fiction today.  Among the people I have personally known in real life, the smartest tend to be among the most moral.  A common example of a fool being immoral is one of those Christians who lie for Jesus.

Apparently, there has been some research on this type of thing:

http://pss.sagepub.com/content/early/201...6.abstract

It is not quite what I had in mind, but racism is more common among stupid people, and so that is one immoral thing that can be avoided through intelligence.  Indeed, many forms of bigotry are the result of poor thinking, and that, again, suggests that there may be some causal correlation between a lack of intelligence and certain kinds of immorality.

Of course, being intelligent does not necessitate moral behavior.