(January 10, 2016 at 2:11 pm)Evie Wrote:

(January 10, 2016 at 1:59 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: However, she and a lot of people need to be a hell of a lot smarter about recognizing and mitigating risk.  Getting into a shower with a drunk stranger and kissing them is an incredibly risky string of behavior.  And while it doesn't justify her rape, nor make it inevitable, it most certainly increases the likelihood of it happening.

This is true but when someone has been raped, the fact that someone engaged in a risky behavior is not the major issue, the major issue is that someone has been raped and the rapist needs to be locked away because they're dangerous.

Please point me to where I said that the rape itself wasn't the major issue.

Please point me to where I said that the rapist shouldn't be locked away for the maximum amount of time stipulated under the law.

"Blame" is absolutely the wrong word. No one is to blame for being a victim, all the victim blaming needs to stop, period.

The victim can increase or decrease the risk to themselves by being careful, but even if the victim is completely reckless, one is still not to blame for being a victim of rape. The only person to blame in such a situation is the rapist.

(January 10, 2016 at 2:11 pm)Evie Wrote:

(January 10, 2016 at 1:59 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: However, she and a lot of people need to be a hell of a lot smarter about recognizing and mitigating risk.  Getting into a shower with a drunk stranger and kissing them is an incredibly risky string of behavior.  And while it doesn't justify her rape, nor make it inevitable, it most certainly increases the likelihood of it happening.

This is true but when someone has been raped, the fact that someone engaged in a risky behavior is not the major issue, the major issue is that someone has been raped and the rapist needs to be locked away because they're dangerous.

The first place people go is to try to find a way to blame the victim. Invariably.
This is a very large reason rape is one of the most under-reported crimes.

(January 10, 2016 at 2:21 pm)KevinM1 Wrote:

(January 10, 2016 at 2:11 pm)Evie Wrote: This is true but when someone has been raped, the fact that someone engaged in a risky behavior is not the major issue, the major issue is that someone has been raped and the rapist needs to be locked away because they're dangerous.

Please point me to where I said that the rape itself wasn't the major issue.

Please point me to where I said that the rapist shouldn't be locked away for the maximum amount of time stipulated under the law.

Please point to me where I said that you said those things. I'm only emphasizing.

(January 10, 2016 at 2:20 pm)KevinM1 Wrote:

(January 10, 2016 at 2:04 pm)Mermaid Wrote: People, including the police department, said these VERY same things to me. I should be more careful and was partially to blame for walking alone at night. Was I?

I don't know.

How late was it?
Do you live on a dark street?
Are there ample places for an assailant to hide?
Is it in a neighborhood that has a relatively high crime rate?

Keep in mind, like I and everyone else has said in this thread: RAPE IS THE FAULT OF THE RAPIST

What we're trying to say is that people assume a certain amount of risk with whatever they do - driving on the highway, going to parties, and, yes, walking alone at night.  The point is to not exacerbate that risk by being an idiot.  Jumping in a shower with a drunk stranger and kissing them is stupidly risky.  

Walking alone at night?  Far less risky, although, it definitely depends on the circumstance.  For example, my old college campus was notorious for nighttime rapes and the faculty and campus police urged everyone walking at night to do so at least in pairs, if not greater numbers, to mitigate risk.

Your attempts to paint me and Aegon as some kind of misogynistic assholes misses the mark.  Shit, my cousin/god mother was molested for at least 8 years of her childhood by my own fucking father, and she kept it quiet because she knew that the family needed his income because of my ample medical bills.  While I've never been the victim of rape itself, my mere fucking existence forced someone I love dearly to have to go through pain and humiliation and fear I cannot imagine.  If you don't think I'm sympathetic to rape victims because I think everyone - male, female, non-cisgendered, old, young, black, white, whatever - should be a bit smarter across the board in order to mitigate the risk (not just the risk of getting raped, but all risk) they inevitably face in life rather than bumbling around and increasing risk in an idiotic fashion, I don't know what to tell you.

I am in NO WAY attempting to paint ANYONE as a misogynist. Please do not put words in my mouth. I have no desire to antagonize. That is the opposite of why I am participating in this thread. I NEVER said you were not sympathtic. Please stop trying to paint me as an angry, misandrist feminist.

I am just speaking as someone who knows what it's like on the other side of that fence. My hope is that it will help with understanding, perhaps that's naive of me.

To your list of questions, how would answering either way to any of those make me at fault? This is what the police asked me as well. They told me that I shouldn't have done that. A young, cute girl should expect that sort of thing if she wasn't paying attention.

I can't see these images Vorlon, I'm not sure if I'm the only one.

You have to cut and paste them. They're anti-rape devices for women to wear. Spiked tampon, condom, chastity belt.

What's wrong with this picture?

I dunno.

When I come back to thread I can see them. They're (justifiably) disturbing however, particularly the last one as it requires surgical intervention for it's removal.