CIJS- wanting to be good is just honestly not good enough. Call me an asshole. Think me a bitch. I don't care. All of your good intentions are worthless to me. Who are you to get mad because I don't want someone constantly fucking up my life? I never said you were a bad person..I don't fucking judge you. But when you're around everything goes to hell. Maybe it's not your fault, fine. But it's not my fault either. I just want to live my life in the safest healthiest way possible. I'm not a mean person for asking you not to come around. I'm just looking out for myself. I have a lot of priorities but protecting your sensibilities isn't really one of them. I just can't deal with it. No. Fucking no. Stahp. No.

Phew. This thread really is cathartic

(September 16, 2016 at 12:40 am)Mamacita Wrote: CIJS...
Not a drop of alcohol since Friday. That is all.

That's fantastic, hon!

CIjs,

You are the sweetest person I know, and you deserve only the best! 

(September 16, 2016 at 10:59 pm)Losty Wrote: CIJS- wanting to be good is just honestly not good enough. Call me an asshole. Think me a bitch. I don't care. All of your good intentions are worthless to me. Who are you to get mad because I don't want someone constantly fucking up my life? I never said you were a bad person..I don't fucking judge you. But when you're around everything goes to hell. Maybe it's not your fault, fine. But it's not my fault either. I just want to live my life in the safest healthiest way possible. I'm not a mean person for asking you not to come around. I'm just looking out for myself. I have a lot of priorities but protecting your sensibilities isn't really one of them. I just can't deal with it. No. Fucking no. Stahp. No.

You aren't an asshole, nor are you a bitch. You can't be the "yes" person or the people pleaser all the time. Your feelings count too. And when you have to be in a place where you know there is fakeness, and you have to act like there isn't any there, I know how that can eat at you. You want to speak out. You want the phoniness to stop.

Don't feel like you have to protect someone's false persona because you don't want them to get hurt. Remember your own hurt and know that your feelings come first. You didn't do this to yourself. Remember that. It wasn't you at all. You aren't mean for asking toxic people to stay away from you. And you aren't wrong for wanting to protect yourself and look out for you and your health. Especially if they crossed a line. That is their crutch to carry, not yours. You do you and let them do them.

I love you girly! I'm proud of you for being the strong person that I know you can be.

/cries

Thank you Judi

You can bend my ear anytime, day or night. You know that.
I'm just a phone call away, love

Let's make it last this time. I can't do this for so many reasons.

One of them being precisely the fact that I have to talk in this stupid thread about it, worrying someone might know/suspect what I'm talking about. Fuck this. I'm not up for it. I'm sorry.

You're being too excited again, Penguin.

(September 17, 2016 at 1:05 am)Maelstrom Wrote: You're being too excited again, Penguin.

Sorry, brother, that's who I am.