I'll be sticking around for Mafia and hell, in all honesty I probably won't succeed at pulling myself away from AF but I'm gonna try. I thought I was a valuable member of the community but nowadays I get compared to the troublemakers when I struggle to not respond to them... even though I've always been that way. I don't understand it. I'm no different to I've ever been and I feel like most people used to like me here. Now I just feel so worthless and I don't understand it. I don't want to stick around if I'm bad for the community. It's going to be hard to quit though. I'm not going to pretend I'm gonna be successfully quitting. I'll probably struggle to stop posting. I'm gonna try though. And I'm definitely going to play Mafia when my ban ends.

Tired of some of my friends drifting away too. I just thought that internet friendships could be meaningful too. They always were to me. I feel so depressed.

(December 4, 2016 at 11:57 am)Alasdair Ham Wrote: I'll be sticking around for Mafia and hell, in all honesty I probably won't succeed at pulling myself away from AF but I'm gonna try. I thought I was a valuable member of the community but nowadays I get compared to the troublemakers when I struggle to not respond to them... even though I've always been that way. I don't understand it. I'm no different to I've ever been and I feel like most people used to like me here. Now I just feel so worthless and I don't understand it. I don't want to stick around if I'm bad for the community. It's going to be hard to quit though. I'm not going to pretend I'm gonna be successfully quitting. I'll probably struggle to stop posting. I'm gonna try though. And I'm definitely going to play Mafia when my ban ends.

Tired of some of my friends drifting away too. I just thought that internet friendships could be meaningful too. They always were to me. I feel so depressed.

Love you, squirrel. Thank you for not giving up on me. I'm sorry that I'm not always around. I promise that when I get through this, I'll make it up to you.

(December 4, 2016 at 11:57 am)Alasdair Ham Wrote: I'll be sticking around for Mafia and hell, in all honesty I probably won't succeed at pulling myself away from AF but I'm gonna try. I thought I was a valuable member of the community but nowadays I get compared to the troublemakers when I struggle to not respond to them... even though I've always been that way. I don't understand it. I'm no different to I've ever been and I feel like most people used to like me here. Now I just feel so worthless and I don't understand it. I don't want to stick around if I'm bad for the community. It's going to be hard to quit though. I'm not going to pretend I'm gonna be successfully quitting. I'll probably struggle to stop posting. I'm gonna try though. And I'm definitely going to play Mafia when my ban ends.

Tired of some of my friends drifting away too. I just thought that internet friendships could be meaningful too. They always were to me. I feel so depressed.

Evie, internet friendships can be meaningful. One incident where a mod made an off-hand comment does not make you not valuable to the community. I wonder almost if you have really specific expectations for your friends and are let down if they don't fit that mold. Some people make sarcastic comments, even if they like you. Some people let communication lapse, not because they don't like you, but because they have busy lives or aren't as communicative as you are. Ultimately, it's up to you to take people as they are. Anyway, I don't want to get too into it because I don't think it's healthy for you to dwell on it or for me to try to reassure you.

(December 4, 2016 at 11:57 am)Alasdair Ham Wrote: I'll be sticking around for Mafia and hell, in all honesty I probably won't succeed at pulling myself away from AF but I'm gonna try. I thought I was a valuable member of the community but nowadays I get compared to the troublemakers when I struggle to not respond to them... even though I've always been that way. I don't understand it. I'm no different to I've ever been and I feel like most people used to like me here. Now I just feel so worthless and I don't understand it. I don't want to stick around if I'm bad for the community. It's going to be hard to quit though. I'm not going to pretend I'm gonna be successfully quitting. I'll probably struggle to stop posting. I'm gonna try though. And I'm definitely going to play Mafia when my ban ends.

Tired of some of my friends drifting away too. I just thought that internet friendships could be meaningful too. They always were to me. I feel so depressed.

Internet friendships can be meaningful, and often are...I've experienced a few. Quitting AF isn't really going to bring you peace, because you could join another forum, and have the same experience. You have to change how you see yourself, and not view yourself as worthy or not worthy, because of the interactions you're having online. If you want to take a break, no one needs to know that, just take a break. Or post less. Or post a lot. lol I think that you have to adjust how you see yourself, and how much importance you place on how others view you. Once you do that, your experiences here will be better. Just my opinion. 

Lol what the fuck is wrong/right from me. I go from having a terrible day and feeling super sad to feeling fucking amazing and loved

I'm glad I hedged my bets and said I might not be able to succeed at leaving AF because fuck it my mood is not reliable

I feel welcome again

It's lovely when people show they care

(December 4, 2016 at 3:05 pm)Alasdair Ham Wrote: Lol what the fuck is wrong/right from me. I go from having a terrible day and feeling super sad to feeling fucking amazing and loved

I'm glad I hedged my bets and said I might not be able to succeed at leaving AF because fuck it my mood is not reliable

I feel welcome again

It's lovely when people show they care

Hammy, we love you. But you know what happened to the last guy that promised to leave alot. Yeah...

I am kidding or not. WIFOM over that.

LOL Dude.

You gotta be kidding because I went out of my way to make it clear I was NOT promising I was practically wearing a flashing neon sign that says "PLEASE DON'T COMPARE ME TO THAT OTHER DOOFUS."

You're such a tease

(December 4, 2016 at 3:05 pm)Alasdair Ham Wrote: Lol what the fuck is wrong/right from me. I go from having a terrible day and feeling super sad to feeling fucking amazing and loved

Excellent, excellent! Now, if you'd just step over here for a second...

Evie, the reason I say reassurance isn't good for you is because the more you use it to feel better, the more you will need it to feel better. Learning to feel better without reassurance from others is ideal, but you probably know that already.

Oh I can feel better without reassurance. It just helps when the specific reason I'm not feeling good is because I'm feeling unwanted. It's good for my self-esteem. I know I don't need it, it just helps. So thank you so much.